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Just now, -idyb- said:

can you livestream it? its for a science project.

 

3 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

I had to "settle" for a make-up blow job.  

 

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2 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

 

 

yeah i think i seen that over at chaturbate.  

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22 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

 

Happened once when I was dealing.  Two massive guys as well.  Started with a chair getting smashed over one of the dude's heads.  Then it became a wrestling match, and the table collapsed when they fell on it.  Fun times.  

Both guys left.  One came back looking for the other dude and didn't believe that he wasn't in the house, I'm fairly certain he was going to shoot him, lol.  

Only had a few bizarre things happen when I played full time. 

Had 2 guys who couldn't stand each other involved in hand. One was a friend at the time before he turned out to be a piece of chit and trashed an apartment I was subrenting to him. Anyways, we're playing $2/5. Typical banter, starts dialing up when they get overly confident in their hands on the river and both push. Big pot. Other guy turns over a flush. My "friend" yells and holds up his full house and throws the cards down, one hitting the other player and it flips over, declaring the hand dead. Dealer announces this but says since everybody saw you had the winner, the other guy can choose to still ship you the pot if you he wants. Guy declined. Friend loses huge pot and his mind flipping chairs over and catch a casino ban.

Another time, I had a hang nail open up and bleed a bit. None on the felt or cards but anytime that happens that have to shut the table down for a few minutes apparently and change the deck and sanitize. Was pretty bizarre. 

Lastly, early on when I was playing full time. We had just opened up the first 1/2 table of the day and on the 1st or 2nd hand, 2 guys get it all in preflop with AA and QQ. At the time, the Bad Beat Jackpot was quads had to beat a AAAQQ full house or better. Dealer sees the hole cards and jokingly says "this is gonna be it, the Bad Beat" Flop comes AQQ, flopping the jackpot. Some young kid I had never seen or haven't seen since once the big share of it and some rich old guy won the small and was unfazed by the $20,000. Catch was the house had to take extra long reviewing the cameras and interviewing people because of what the dealer said. They thought there might be collusion. I pocketed $2,000 for the table share and proceeded to piss it all away in a couple months. 

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We used to have a ton of NEAR fights.  I almost got my *** beat three times, I had it coming too, more than once did I have to kinda run around a bit to get the other person away from me.  One of the guys was the dude who I think was coming back to shoot the other dude in my previous story.  The other was my current financial advisor haha.  My advisor I'm pretty sure I could have taken, the other guy, not so much.  He would have smashed me with a Bob Sapp piledriver.  

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I was also supposed to box one of the other dealers, this mouthy little Iranian kid.  One of the bookie regulars was taking action left and right.  I wish we had done it, I had at least 30 pounds on him.  

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i went out and bought half a pound of that tumbleweed

dNW99OZ.jpg

Edited by -idyb-
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2 hours ago, TUF said:

Only had a few bizarre things happen when I played full time. 

Had 2 guys who couldn't stand each other involved in hand. One was a friend at the time before he turned out to be a piece of chit and trashed an apartment I was subrenting to him. Anyways, we're playing $2/5. Typical banter, starts dialing up when they get overly confident in their hands on the river and both push. Big pot. Other guy turns over a flush. My "friend" yells and holds up his full house and throws the cards down, one hitting the other player and it flips over, declaring the hand dead. Dealer announces this but says since everybody saw you had the winner, the other guy can choose to still ship you the pot if you he wants. Guy declined. Friend loses huge pot and his mind flipping chairs over and catch a casino ban.

Another time, I had a hang nail open up and bleed a bit. None on the felt or cards but anytime that happens that have to shut the table down for a few minutes apparently and change the deck and sanitize. Was pretty bizarre. 

Lastly, early on when I was playing full time. We had just opened up the first 1/2 table of the day and on the 1st or 2nd hand, 2 guys get it all in preflop with AA and QQ. At the time, the Bad Beat Jackpot was quads had to beat a AAAQQ full house or better. Dealer sees the hole cards and jokingly says "this is gonna be it, the Bad Beat" Flop comes AQQ, flopping the jackpot. Some young kid I had never seen or haven't seen since once the big share of it and some rich old guy won the small and was unfazed by the $20,000. Catch was the house had to take extra long reviewing the cameras and interviewing people because of what the dealer said. They thought there might be collusion. I pocketed $2,000 for the table share and proceeded to piss it all away in a couple months. 

Those stories were awesome lol. Two of my bizarre table stories were actually very similar but not quite as good or dramatic. Basically, same set up except both guys got it all in on the flop in a 1/2 game. Dude saw he was grotesquely behind with a 1 outter (lolz great call) and sort of half jokingly got up out of his seat to leave the table. He takes a step away and looks back only to see the 1-outter hit on the river and he obnoxiously came roaring back thinking he won. Dealer told him leaving the table in a hand results in a dead hand. Dude flipped of course but sadly, no suplexes were handed out.

The other one some old guy somehow either cut his finger or had a cut that opened up. Only a little bit of blood and I don't think any got on cards or felt but I've never seen a table clear out so fast. The players were squeamish as hell and bolted. I'm sitting there like "well I guess that's the end of my night".

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18 minutes ago, Decompoze said:

The other one some old guy somehow either cut his finger or had a cut that opened up. Only a little bit of blood and I don't think any got on cards or felt but I've never seen a table clear out so fast. The players were squeamish as hell and bolted. I'm sitting there like "well I guess that's the end of my night".

I used to get colds and **** all of the times from handling dirty *** cards and chips.  That and the fact that all of the players sit facing the dealer and all of their coughs come right at you.  

Reminds me of the chips at the Trump Taj Mahal in AC, I'm shocked I didn't get the bubonic plague from them.  

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28 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

Reminds me of the chips at the Trump Taj Mahal in AC, I'm shocked I didn't get the bubonic plague from them.  

That's what Melania says everyday :)

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34 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

Rut roh

 

Officer takes one look at Ronaldo, determines it would never be rape, he's free to go. 

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9 minutes ago, TUF said:

Officer takes one look at Ronaldo, determines it would never be rape, he's free to go. 

When I posted that I thought that there had been an arrest warrant issued.  I couldn't figure out why the story wasn't blowing up on social media.  

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1 minute ago, sobercuban said:

When I posted that I thought that there had been an arrest warrant issued.  I couldn't figure out why the story wasn't blowing up on social media.  

Just had to reread it to realize the same. tbf, they wouldn't do that unless they had something to link it to so it's still pretty interesting that she might have kept something with his DNA to bury him with. All this does is discredit the #metoo movement that much more. 

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12 minutes ago, TUF said:

Just had to reread it to realize the same. tbf, they wouldn't do that unless they had something to link it to so it's still pretty interesting that she might have kept something with his DNA to bury him with. All this does is discredit the #metoo movement that much more. 

was he a big part of it or something? 

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5 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

was he a big part of it or something? 

I just mean in general. wimmins are actually getting raped out here and this just makes actual victims allegations that much less credible when an attention wh0re cries wolf like this. 

Edited by TUF
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59 minutes ago, TUF said:

Just had to reread it to realize the same. tbf, they wouldn't do that unless they had something to link it to so it's still pretty interesting that she might have kept something with his DNA to bury him with. All this does is discredit the #metoo movement that much more. 

But having DNA doesn't mean she was raped, look at Monica Lewinsky...and just having my semen, might have come from a wet dream in my microfiber sport briefs.

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15 minutes ago, Bwana said:

But having DNA doesn't mean she was raped

I think everybody knows that and knows that she in all likelihood wasn't raped, but it doesn't matter what we think. Hopefully his defense is able to find something that will bury her in return. 

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6 minutes ago, TUF said:

I think everybody knows that and knows that she in all likelihood wasn't raped, but it doesn't matter what we think. Hopefully his defense is able to find something that will bury her in return. 

She's looking for money, or a date with idyb.

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20 minutes ago, Bwana said:

She's looking for money, or a date with idyb.

 

even i have standards, and she's too young for me.

Edited by -idyb-
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On 1/9/2019 at 11:46 AM, sobercuban said:

Does it not work if you try to upload a gif? 

I remember when I made these I made sure to keep the file size super small

i back

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where the fook are all these animated avatars coming from? im gonna have a brian aneurysm

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2 minutes ago, -idyb- said:

where the fook are all these animated avatars coming from? im gonna have a brian aneurysm

TUF

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1 hour ago, sobercuban said:

hmm the wife is being secretive, I'm curious to know what she got me for my birthday.  

 

i know exactly what she's got you for your birthday

 

    Dengue Fever 

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1 hour ago, sobercuban said:

hmm the wife is being secretive, I'm curious to know what she got me for my birthday.  

I'm betting a used StairMaster

1 hour ago, sobercuban said:

I just had a overwhelming urge to listen to Led Zeppelin 3.  

Physical Graffiti

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6 minutes ago, Bwana said:

I'm betting a used StairMaster

 

it better not be the same damn treadmill that sobercuban gave her for their anniversary. i dont even know how they are still together after that transpired.

Edited by -idyb-
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14 minutes ago, -idyb- said:

 

it better not be the same damn treadmill that sobercuban gave her for their anniversary. i dont even know how they are still together after that transpired.

I've got a recumbent bike, I bought that for me tho.

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cant watch my hockey game because shaw is retarded.  sportsnet pacific is down and shaw is blaming it on rogers. even though people on telus are getting the game just fine.

im pretty fooking triggered.  been waiting all week to watch my canucks get beaten by one of the worst teams in the league. what a bunch of chit.  

Edited by -idyb-

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37 minutes ago, sobercuban said:

At least it's only hockey

If it wasn't for hockey, where would the gay ex-figure skaters get work ?

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17 hours ago, sobercuban said:

I was also supposed to box one of the other dealers, this mouthy little Iranian kid.  One of the bookie regulars was taking action left and right.  I wish we had done it, I had at least 30 pounds on him.  

I once thought being the larger man meant I could tune up this kid I didn't like. It turned out he actually knew how to box, and I didn't. I got the hands.

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That's why wrestling is the most dominant martial art. Because if I've got thirty pounds on you and know how to wrestle, you finna lose.

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did the school run this morning and one of the mums looked like an unjacked Chris Guyborg even down to the hair.  

tenor.gif

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It sucks to see Andy Murray talking retirement already. Always depressing as **** to watch super talented athletes in their prime have their bodies give out on them.  😕

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59 minutes ago, crangs said:

did the school run this morning and one of the mums looked like an unjacked Chris Guyborg even down to the hair.  

tenor.gif

So just a few picograms away from getting the D?

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2 hours ago, cashfl0w said:

It sucks to see Andy Murray talking retirement already. Always depressing as **** to watch super talented athletes in their prime have their bodies give out on them.  😕

Related image

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