Yesterday was Easter and I decided to pay my older brother a visit. The weather was decent and I thought that I would ride a bicycle there, as he is about 15 miles away. That's a pleasant distance, though the ride is very ****. I go through East St. Louis, Sauget, Cahokia and arrive in Dupo. These are all horrible towns. But they are towns I have been acquainted with my entire life, unfortunately.
My brother is mentally ill. He's always been that way, but he has gotten worse with age. Not just the craziness. Or maybe not even the craziness at all. Maybe it's leveled off, I don't know. Mental illness is not a free pass, not an excuse to act however you want.
He is a pathological liar, but he is also a normal liar. He is lazy. He is mean. His hygiene is disgusting. He literally doesn't have a tooth in his head, he's all gums. He smokes weed and plays video games all day, every day. He hasn't held a job in years. My grandmother is in a nursing home with advanced dementia and he has been squatting in my grandmother's house for at least a couple years (I'm not completely sure how long because we don't often stay in touch.)
My brother has no running water in this house. It is dilapidated, dirty and disgusting . He somehow has electricity from tampering with the meter. He takes food stamps and goes to food pantries and accepts help from the Mormons. He doesn't do laundry. He is wearing clothes that I gave him a year ago because the things he was wearing were falling off of him. They have not been laundered since. He unapologetically "rents" to two roommates, drug addicts whose rent is paid by their families who want nothing to do with them.
I could go on and on. You wouldn't believe it. You couldn't believe it. He has no redeeming qualities. Occasionally I visit because I feel bad for him. I feel bad for all the abuse he endured at the hands of our father, the same abuse I endured. I can still picture these tragic moments and I want that man to rot in hell and I wish that there was something I could do for that little boy I see in pictures, the boy that eventually became the horrible man that my brother is today. I feel as though if I don't swing by at times to show that there is someone in this world that still cares for him, that he might kill himself, which might actually not be all that bad for him. I would have trouble living with the guilt, however.
So I decided to visit him on Easter. I wasn't there long until I had to leave. And because he is so bad, because he is a lunatic, because he has no love in his heart or brains in his head, he chased after me with a sword, which he would have likely used. I hadn't time enough to gain momentum on my bike, so I hopped off and reluctantly squared off with him.
Unless you're a professional sword fighter, and maybe even if you are a professional sword fighter, there are only so many moves you have with a sword. He was in a batters stance and I timed it and pounced, locked him up and tried to get control of the sword, which I eventually did. I don't have any moves or training associated with this sort of thing, so the struggle took a couple minutes. I had my two hands against his two hands and I used my strength to lower the weapon to the street. Then I stepped on the blade, so that it wasn't going anywhere. He was not giving up, and as we were both leaned over and the blade secured to the ground with my foot, I released one of of my hands and reached between his legs and picked him up and slammed him headfirst on the ground. Then I pitched the sword into a neighbors yard, turned around and saw him struggling to get up, clearly **** up from the slam. I kicked him in his head, causing a huge cut that immediately bled. It was this kick that broke my foot and it was a serious kick. I thought for a moment that I killed him, but I saw that he was still alive...so I kicked him again. Son of a ****.
And now I have yet another thing to weigh on my guilty conscience.
I later called the police and told them what happened because I was concerned for my brother. The police in his town are well acquainted with him and asked me zero questions and were unconcerned with charging me with anything. They did a wellness check on him and called me back. They said they stopped by and he was beat up, but otherwise okay. They said he was playing video games.
Edited by Megasoup, 17 April 2017 - 02:50 PM.