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Worst a** whooping you've ever taken

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Everyone here likes to brag about their victories but what's the worst a** kicking you've ever taken?

 

Mine was in 11th grade. Me and this dude had been jawing at each other for months and then finally we fought in school, sadly I didn't do much fighting.

 

We were jawing at each other and I finally said **** it and turned around to walk off and he said something else so I turned around and swung a right with everything in me. Like a dumb **** I whiffed and stumbled forward where he immedietly jumped on my back and proceeded to beat the absolute chit out of me! Bruised ribs busted up face, the whole bit.

 

We actual were cool after that, me and that dude never had a problem with each other again.

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**** whooping? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable **** off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ****ing dead, kiddo.

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8 years old, I was the quite normal kid in a school full of scumbags, guy in my glass came up and kicked me right in the nuts 3 times, went down like a sack of potatoes, never been beaten since, If I ever find myself in a fight, which is very rare, I always make sure I either die or win, because **** losing 

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I got sucker punched by this giant 6th grader once.  I deserved it too.  He wanted to use the computer I was on (there was only one in the class) and I flippantly told him to feck off.  He started complaining more and I just rammed my chair backwards in to him, right in the balls.  

 

I turned around to laugh at him when I got dropped by an overhand and fell face first to the floor, I didn't go out though.  I wore glasses at the time and the frames were all fucked up and had cut into my eyebrow.  I cried like a Βitch too, with a capital B.  Eye damn near swole shut and I was black and purple.  Needless to say, I never did some ѕhit like that ever again.  

 

I haven't been in an actual fight since 8th grade when I whooped this dude named Brad who had bullied me in 7th grade.  I snapped on that motherfucker after he grabbed me by the shirt when he was passing by and breaking this damn bead neckless I had made.  I smashed him all up and down the side of his head, never fucked with me again.  He popped up as a friend suggestion a year or two back so I crept his profile.  Turns out homeboy is married to a MAN - gay as fuck.  Tripped me out

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I haven't been in an actual fight since 8th grade when I whooped this dude named Brad who had bullied me in 7th grade.  I snapped on that motherfucker after he grabbed me by the shirt when he was passing by and breaking this damn bead neckless I had made.  I smashed him all up and down the side of his head, never fucked with me again.  He popped up as a friend suggestion a year or two back so I crept his profile.  Turns out homeboy is married to a MAN - gay as fuck.  Tripped me out

 

 

its all your fault. you turned him gay after letting him play with your beads m8

Edited by -idyb-
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I got sucker punched by this giant 6th grader once. I deserved it too. He wanted to use the computer I was on (there was only one in the class) and I flippantly told him to feck off. He started complaining more and I just rammed my chair backwards in to him, right in the balls.

 

I turned around to laugh at him when I got dropped by an overhand and fell face first to the floor, I didn't go out though. I wore glasses at the time and the frames were all fucked up and had cut into my eyebrow. I cried like a Βitch too, with a capital B. Eye damn near swole shut and I was black and purple. Needless to say, I never did some ѕhit like that ever again.

 

I haven't been in an actual fight since 8th grade when I whooped this dude named Brad who had bullied me in 7th grade. I snapped on that motherfucker after he grabbed me by the shirt when he was passing by and breaking this damn bead neckless I had made. I smashed him all up and down the side of his head, never fucked with me again. He popped up as a friend suggestion a year or two back so I crept his profile. Turns out homeboy is married to a MAN - gay as fuck. Tripped me out

My GF asked me a question about prison gay this morning and I had no answer to it.

 

In prison, is the dude receiving gay, is the dude giving gay, or is it prison rules and neither are gay. I was confused as ****

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My GF asked me a question about prison gay this morning and I had no answer to it.

 

In prison, is the dude receiving gay, is the dude giving gay, or is it prison rules and neither are gay. I was confused as ****

Pretty sure the guys doing the fucking consider themselves straight.  I think if you take dick in the a$$ that makes you gay anywhere.  

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Pretty sure the guys doing the fucking consider themselves straight.  I think if you take dick in the a$$ that makes you gay anywhere.  

 

 

what if its a tranny's **** you take in the a$$. does that still make you gay?

 

i think ud be the one to ask here

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Pretty sure the guys doing the fucking consider themselves straight. I think if you take dick in the a$$ that makes you gay anywhere.

I agree but what does that make the dude that's getting hard for another dude?

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what if its a tranny's **** you take in the a$$. does that still make you gay?

 

i think ud be the one to ask here

yeah fuck that, any man taking dick in the a$$, for any reason, is gay.  

 

Dudes that do the gay-for-pay **** are usually the ones doing the fucking

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I agree but what does that make the dude that's getting hard for another dude?

 

There is this guy I've known since like 2005 who was a wrestler at NC State and now is general manager of a popular college bar here in Raleigh that new all about that ****.  Dude banged chicks, a lot of chicks, got his dick sucked, by a chick, at one of our poker games, married a super hot chick.

 

He randomly started telling us about gay-for-pay.  We didn't take him seriously at first.  But he was like "yep".  Someone said something along the lines of guys doing the fucking are gay and he piped up saying "If you're doing the fucking, you're not gay, you're a fucking stud".  

 

Everyone got quiet for like 5 minutes after that.  

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TL;DR 1 - got sparked out getting bashed by 5 aboriginals outside a party. Pretty much a flash knock down and recovered instantly but got my jaw fractured in 3 places.

 

 

1. Gang bashed by 5x less then respectable indigenous gentlemen while outside an open party that a friend of mine from high school was hosting. The host was like an aboriginal the size of an islander. Think a black as black mark hunt. I was a teenager. They were probably in their mid 20's. They were just going around randomly bashing people, trying to act like some hardcore gang or whatever. I'm blind drunk walking along and this dude falls down in front of me out of nowhere. I pick him up as some random kicks him. I give that guy a hard shove and I'm like "don't kick him what the Frick are you doing?!?" I pick up the bloke on the ground. He just runs off with this fearfull look in his eyes. No thanks or anything. I'm just standing there like "WTF was that all about", 

 

I turn around and there's 5 of these kents quickly surrounding me. One of them is just like "what did you call me a nagger?" Being genuinely not racist I'm just like "wait what?!" nek minit I'm getting punched in the head from every direction. I remember the whole world just wobbling around and not feeling anything so I just start laughing at the whole situation not even trying to cover up or fight back LOL. After a handfull of punches to the head I don't remember falling but I remember hitting the ground and instantly cover up as they start kicking me. I got sparked out but pretty much instantly recover. 

 

Some girls are like "what are you doing don't kick him while he's on the ground!" so they disperse and I pop to my feet and go looking for my friends who are chilling out elsewhere. I walk right through the middle of the group that just flogged me and go to my friends. They decide I haven't had enough and come in for more. My friends and I are like WTF haha and we're about to get in an all in brawl when my black mark hunt friend comes in and goes ape chit on these guys and they farkin scatter lol. I got a fractured jaw in 3 places from that.

 

 

TL;DR 2 - Told a guy to keep walking, turned away and he sucker punched me. I got knocked down into auto pilot trying to get back up. Don't remember that 15 seconds. No injuries besides probable brain damej LOL

 

 

2. Clubbing in my very early 20's. Everyone's just being a drunken nuisance on the streets in brisbane city. Some guy was yelling at me and my friends so I yelled back "keep walking" and turn away. Nek minit I get clocked with a coward punch and I don't remember this but apparently I spent about 10 - 15 seconds trying to pick myself up off the ground. What I do remember, before my sight returned, was something like my system rebooting, I remember feeling myself crash into the shop window as I was crawling backwards face up, I remember thinking "the shop window! I'll use that to stand up!" before I can remember seeing anything, I somehow knew it was a shop window and I don't know how. I slid up the shop window with my shoulders and stumbled forwards. A few people who were trying to help caught me and held me steady asking if I'm ok. This is around when I can first remember seeing my environment. I start scanning the area for who did it, sure enough my friends are in a fight with these guys about 20 meters down the road. I'm pretty much fully recovered and alert at this point and shrug all the helpers off and rush down the road to find the guy that cheap shot me. He'd run off and there was basically just some pushing and yelling to calm down by the time I got there.

 

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TL;DR 1 - got sparked out getting bashed by 5 aboriginals outside a party. Pretty much a flash knock down and recovered instantly but got my jaw fractured in 3 places.

 

 

1. Gang bashed by 5x less then respectable indigenous gentlemen while outside an open party that a friend of mine from high school was hosting. The host was like an aboriginal the size of an islander. Think a black as black mark hunt. I was a teenager. They were probably in their mid 20's. They were just going around randomly bashing people, trying to act like some hardcore gang or whatever. I'm blind drunk walking along and this dude falls down in front of me out of nowhere. I pick him up as some random kicks him. I give that guy a hard shove and I'm like "don't kick him what the Frick are you doing?!?" I pick up the bloke on the ground. He just runs off with this fearfull look in his eyes. No thanks or anything. I'm just standing there like "WTF was that all about", 

 

I turn around and there's 5 of these kents quickly surrounding me. One of them is just like "what did you call me a nagger?" Being genuinely not racist I'm just like "wait what?!" nek minit I'm getting punched in the head from every direction. I remember the whole world just wobbling around and not feeling anything so I just start laughing at the whole situation not even trying to cover up or fight back LOL. After a handfull of punches to the head I don't remember falling but I remember hitting the ground and instantly cover up as they start kicking me. I got sparked out but pretty much instantly recover. 

 

Some girls are like "what are you doing don't kick him while he's on the ground!" so they disperse and I pop to my feet and go looking for my friends who are chilling out elsewhere. I walk right through the middle of the group that just flogged me and go to my friends. They decide I haven't had enough and come in for more. My friends and I are like WTF haha and we're about to get in an all in brawl when my black mark hunt friend comes in and goes ape chit on these guys and they farkin scatter lol. I got a fractured jaw in 3 places from that.

 

 

TL;DR 2 - Told a guy to keep walking, turned away and he sucker punched me. I got knocked down into auto pilot trying to get back up. Don't remember that 15 seconds. No injuries besides probable brain damej LOL

 

 

2. Clubbing in my very early 20's. Everyone's just being a drunken nuisance on the streets in brisbane city. Some guy was yelling at me and my friends so I yelled back "keep walking" and turn away. Nek minit I get clocked with a coward punch and I don't remember this but apparently I spent about 10 - 15 seconds trying to pick myself up off the ground. What I do remember, before my sight returned, was something like my system rebooting, I remember feeling myself crash into the shop window as I was crawling backwards face up, I remember thinking "the shop window! I'll use that to stand up!" before I can remember seeing anything, I somehow knew it was a shop window and I don't know how. I slid up the shop window with my shoulders and stumbled forwards. A few people who were trying to help caught me and held me steady asking if I'm ok. This is around when I can first remember seeing my environment. I start scanning the area for who did it, sure enough my friends are in a fight with these guys about 20 meters down the road. I'm pretty much fully recovered and alert at this point and shrug all the helpers off and rush down the road to find the guy that cheap shot me. He'd run off and there was basically just some pushing and yelling to calm down by the time I got there.

 

Hell yeah!  Those are the kinds of stories this thread deserves.

 

sober I don't think that's the kind of a** whooping OP meant

lol he's the one who started asking ME about gay buttsex

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Hell yeah! Those are the kinds of stories this thread deserves.

 

lol he's the one who started asking ME about gay buttsex

Lies!

 

You brought up your gay sparring partner and it reminded me of some chit my GF asked me. So YOU started it.

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lol he's the one who started asking ME about gay buttsex

 

 

Lies!

 

You brought up your gay sparring partner and it reminded me of some chit my GF asked me. So YOU started it.

 

 

How about you guys take it to the bedroom and sort out your differences.

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Boxed a Puerto Rican kid in basic training, we hadn't gotten along since day one and he called me out. I had about 20 lbs on him so I thought I would tune him up and maybe could have if I butt grabbed, but he was too fast and actually knew how to box.

 

I wouldn't call it an **** whooping because he didn't hurt me that bad, no knockdown or anything, but he definitely outclassed me. 

 

I wonder what ever happened to him.

Edited by 12er™
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Boxed a Puerto Rican kid in basic training, we hadn't gotten along since day one and he called me out. I had about 20 lbs on him so I thought I would tune him up and maybe could have if I butt grabbed, but he was too fast and actually knew how to box.

 

I wouldn't call it an **** whooping because he didn't hurt me that bad, no knockdown or anything, but he definitely outclassed me.

 

I wonder what ever happened to him.

Stupid! You know better than to try and box with a Puerto Rican or Dominican. Come on 12er

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we hadn't gotten along since day one...

 

...I wonder what ever happened to him.

 

so you never saw him again after the match? Or did you guys settle your differences and go your separate ways? 

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Lies!

 

You brought up your gay sparring partner and it reminded me of some chit my GF asked me. So YOU started it.

I wonder if it makes me a gay-basher? 

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I wonder if it makes me a gay-basher?

This is why everyone needs a pocket Morgan Freeman. That way you can just pull him out and he will explain chit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately he will probably sexually assault you after he answers your question.

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so you never saw him again after the match? Or did you guys settle your differences and go your separate ways? 

I never saw him again after basic training. Everyone gets their assignments and goes their seperate ways. 

 

Some people you see around, for example, two guys I went to basic stayed with me for almost the entirety of my time in Army. Some other guys were at the same duty station, but different brigades or battalions. One such guy I saw shortly before I left the service and the **** had been shot in the face in Baghdad, it blew out part of his cheek and he had a gnarly scar.

 

Another dude who happened to be from the same state as me I saw once on the local news when I was home on leave because the local media did a story on him surprising his family for Christmas.

 

I ran into my basic training company commander at a bar in Colorado Springs once.

 

That said, the vast majority of them I left and never saw again, and don't even remember their names tbh. 

 

I forgot about that Puerto Rican kid until just now. 

Edited by 12er™
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Megasoup took me to pink sock city in IDYB's basement the other day

 

whatever floats your boat there bud.

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My GF asked me a question about prison gay this morning and I had no answer to it.

 

In prison, is the dude receiving gay, is the dude giving gay, or is it prison rules and neither are gay. I was confused as ****

lol #Soupbait

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The ONLY a$$ whooping Clegg has ever taken was against my step father when I was 19 and he was 40.  He was also a D2 collegiate football player recruited by multiple D1 schools as a RB but he didn't want to sit until he was a junior.  He was starting punt returner and weak side corner as a freshman at ETSU.  Moved to defense as his brother that was one year older set ETSU's single season rushing record as a freshman.  He already had to play backseat to him for 3 years in high school.

 

That was me about 30 pounds ago.  I'd spark him in one exchange now... lol he even took me down.

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I tried to poke on a ten foot rim when I was about 12 years old, and some other little **** bridged the chit out of me. I flopped so hard on my tailbone, and it was fractured after that. 
    
That would be it. I got sonned by a hardwood floor when I was 12 years old.

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In Glasgow (shock), I was a little too drunk for my own good and for some reason went on the dance floor and started verbally abusing some guy with a skinny tie - I was yanking his tie cos Im an **** and his mate ran up from my side and tackled me, I managed to get full mount and was raining down HEAVY HANDS but Mr skinny tie booted me in the face which is ofcourse illegal in ufc rules lol I hit the floor like a sack of **** and skinny tie and his pals were kicking me on the floor until my mates split it up. Woke up the next morning looking like bubba from Forrest Gump, had a full English breakfast and felt right as rain.

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Damn, I must be high, up in here talking about man-to-man assfucking

 

take it to the unpopular opinions thread m8

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Mine was on a dancefloor as well at a school disco when i was in year 8 or 9, had a local metal band playing, there was a "moshpit" (20 or so 15 year olds running around like ****heads) and a kid who didnt like me saw an opportunity, knocked me down then him and i dont know how many of his mates stomped me while i was in fetal for what felt like minutes but was probably 5 or 10 seconds.

 

They eventually let off and ran away, i got up, dusted myself off a bit, watched the end of the show from somewhere a bit less hectic. Didnt really do any damage to me, was fine the next day,. I've had worse whoopings sparring back when i was training regularly, but those guys didnt want to seriously **** me up like those kids on the dancefooor.

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Got two stories. I'll break them into two post because they're kinda long. 

 

Once when i was around 11-12. Me and another older kid from the neighborhood got into and squared off and i was waiting for him to try to push me to start throwing hands then i leaned in and the fooker snuck me, took me down by surprise, mounted then starting throwing hands. I blocked all of them but i couldn't escape. I started laughing at him at one point and he grabbed my neck rape choke style and started trying to slam my head which he did a couple times then some adults came and broke it up. I got up, wasn't hurt and still wanted to fight but we never did again. He gave me a little knot on the back of my head from that choke slam lol. 
 
I kinda thought about it after i cooled off and was like alright well played you got me. Was a lesson that you never 
let anyone enter your space and not everyone will throw hands on the streets so you better learn how to 
prevent being taken down AND learn how to handle yourself on the ground just in case. 
 
I did have a boxing match with him later with all the kids in my neighborhood. We used have a little backyard boxing league. 
Some of the older kids where corner men. He bloodied my nose in the first rd with a right hand. My buddy this older Mexican kid wanted me to stop after i got my nose bloodied but i wanted to continue. 2nd rd i came out and dropped him with a left that busted his lip bad enough he had to get stitches. Was basically an even match to that point but he did quit after i busted his lip.  
 
After that street fight i started training Jitz with an older friend of mine i knew. Him and his little brother were into Judo & traditional Jiu-Jitsu and a lot of their friends were on the wrestling team at school and some of them into other martial arts. Everyone in my neighborhood was into fighting. It was a past time for us along with partying. I always h8'ed it but there was a part of me that was full of pride to not back down and i was always very competitive. 
 
Growing up in the mean streets of NOLA there was a lot of fighting mofo's and even if you tried to avoid it like i did you still have to learn to fight or you'd get walked on by everyone. That was just how it was growing up. You had to earn your respect with hands and make the habitual line steppers think twice. When we all got a little older and this person got stabbed, that person got jumped, and another person got shot or another is in jail i started to realize how to leave my stupid pride and walk away because jail, cemetery or a slashed up face didn't seem quite as cool anymore. 
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Second story was as a young man. This one i definitely took an @ss whoopin. 

 

When i was a young man my brother knew this guy that was a former pro kickboxer and ran fight club bars in Metarie. My brother was a manager for him for a couple yrs and i worked as a bouncer for like 6-8 months and i still had an itch to fight so he set me up a kickboxing match along with some amateur boxing and MMA which back then it was NHB. Had to prove myself in his gym first which in some ways was worse than all the fights lol. That dude was brutal & completely sadistic.  My first lesson with him was him teaching me how to block kicks proper with him kicking the chit out of my forearms. We used spar hard too. That place was gym war city. I remember going to work with headaches, sometimes black eyes and bruises all over my body. Made my job easier i guess because everyone thought i was crazy so i never really had any issues there but i remember h8ing it. That club had a rep already for not fking around and the owner pro kickboxer fight promoter guy had connections with police and some greasy Italians. 
 
In the kickboxing match i took a beating but went all 4 rds and had my moments so it wasn't totally one sided @ss whoopin
totally but i definitely lost. He broke my nose, cut and swole my left eye shut ( still got the scar ) and chopped the chit out of my legs. Couldn't walk right the next day and I looked like a raccoon for a good two wks. 
 
About a week after that kickboxing match me and my brother along with his GF and her little brother who was my age all took a trip to Florida for spring break. We stayed a week and i probably got laid more times in a week than i ever have in my life and i still had black eyes from that kickboxing match. Lil bro was a great wing man. He was a charming good looking dude, musician & had a nice mustang. During the day we'd go pick up chicks on the strip and by nightfall we were fking them on the beach or at the condo we rented. I kinda got a little full of myself after that and thought i was King Daddy for a second lol which came back to bite me later but oh what good times i had.
 
Looking back that was probably the best yr or so stretch of my life. There ain't much better in life. Made me feel like i was an IRL Conan lol. Glorious honorable combat, having good times with friends & fam, R&R @ the beach & all the pu$$y a man can handle. Was quite a rush especially for a young man trying to find his way and make sense of this crazy world. 
Edited by StompGrind
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...from my Dad.  Other than that, I've never been in any real fights except for a kiddie fight in 8th grade and I won that little scuffle. 

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Worked a 36 hour shift.

I dealt a shorthanded poker game for 18 hours without getting up to use the bathroom and without eating any food before.  I worked a total of 31 hours out of a 36 game that time.  Was totally worth it for the money though.  

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got flying kneed in the nuts by the kids on more than one occasion

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my parents never beat me hard enough

"I'm sorry I didn't have a dad to give me a hug when I needed it. And I'm sorry I didn't have a dad to beat my azz when I needed it, too."

Bo Jackson, whose single mom would light into him with a hickory switch. Or, when he was really ornery, would break out the electrical cord from the vacuum cleaner. Yeah, that'll leave a mark!

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My dad would beat my azz when I did something wrong, and rightly so. But it never topped what happened when I tried to duck one of my mom's punishments.

I was sitting on the floor, being disobedient, and ran my piehole at mom, which set her off. She throws a slipper at me, and I jerk my head out of its path, forgetting I'm sitting next to a coffee table. POW, I smash my left eyebrow into the sharp corner of the top of the table. I cover my eye and start screaming, and mom checks to see that I didn't put an eye out, then cussues my azz out. No lost eye and no cuts, but the eyebrow swelled up like and egg and went all Technicolor. Never saw so many tints in a bruise in my life. Don't fook with your parents!

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i was the world champion of a meaningless division for 10 years and I got my **** whooped by some chubby mexican once

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i was the world champion of a meaningless division for 10 years and I got my **** whooped by some chubby mexican once

 

trololol im sorry

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