Didn't have the time to elaborate on my zoo fight before but here's what happened that day:
Sometime back in '02 my wife, who was just my girlfriend at the time, and I went to a place in the Netherlands called monkeyhill. It's a zoo that holds pretty much every type of ape you can think of. The first thing they give you at the entrance is an entry ticket, the second is a specially modified carry bag that has lockable zippers. You see there is a certain portion of the park where the monkeys run free and you can interact with them. The sole condition being that you DO NOT under any circumstances open that bag they gave you because the animals will assume you're there to feed them. The park is littered with these warning signs.
At some point my wife and I entered that secluded section of the park. Along with a few other people, families. It's pretty intimidatijg because you're surrounded by at least 50 of these capuchin monkeys. They may not look like much on tv but when you see a pack of these guys walking around you janking at your pants they're pretty formidable. They have some genuine strength in those arms.
We sat down on some piece of concrete and just watched these things climb and run around. Families with kids having a good time. Then all of a sudden for reasons still unknown my wife decides it would be a great idea to take a few pictures and without any form of hesitation just completely opens that bag they gave us at the entrance. I turn my head and look at her in disbelief as I hear a deafening sound of high pitched monkey screams.
One monkey dropped from a branch above us and dove into the bag only to reappear seconds later holding one of our sandwhiches wrapped in plastic. I remember thinking to myself that I couldn't let that thing eat the plastic so I wanted to jank it from it's hands but I couldn't. Then all hell broke loose. I was swarmed by at least 10 to 15 of these primates. I remember losing my balance and being on my back with these crazed litlle mofos on top of me. One of them held my collar and bared it's teeth at me. That's when I lost it and went full retard. I got to my knees and let my hands go. Caught a few square on their little faces, hurled a couple of them against the fence. Soccer kicked some, It was a full on cage rage, people were in panic, kids were screaming. My face was a mess and I had bites on both my arms, my clothes were covered in ape**** because these things let everything go in excitement. In the end security and some zoo personel came running and evacuated everybody.
Security threatened to have arrested if I didn't leave the park immediately. I wanted to talk about my ruined clothes but they would have nothing of it so I ended up taking off these ****stained clothes and drove home in my undies. My wife cried for hours straight.
I ended up getting 4 or 5 shots in the hospital. I still have a scar on the back of my neck from that encounter. Stinkin' primates...
Hahaha That's when I lost it and went full retard. I got to my knees and let my hands go. Caught a few square on their little faces, hurled a couple of them against the fence.