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Anybody gone on a cruise? Tell me about it. I'm going in a few weeks.


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Cruises are AWESOME! If you get any kind of motion sickness make sure to bring some motion sickness pills.

 

Like Leonie said....have some money set aside for the bill.

 

Depending on what country you go to some you can get prescriptions without a script.

 

Bring lots of condoms...unless your going with your significant other.

 

Have fun

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if you like to eat you'll love the cruise.

if you like to drink you'll love the ports.

Drink water on boat not at ports.

Drink alcohol at ports not on boat.

take a couple bottles of alcohol in your luggage, should be legal. I know that's me and some friends. then you have your mixers from the boat and the booze from your luggage.

don't try to bring liquor that you bought from the ports onto the boat. they take it when you get back ont eh boat. has to do with the tax of liquor. I think you can buy something like 6 bottles of liquor before you have to pay tax when you get back to u.s. soil. (they of course give you the liquor back when you get to u.s.). advice to you would be to take a water bottle drink the water and then fill it up with booze so you can take it back on the boat ;)

the misconception about cruises is that there are only fat people on it... well there are only fat people on the boat at the pools when you are the ports as the hotties are out at the beach at the ports...

apply sunscreen twice a day... something about the reflection off of the water that makes it that much worse.

I get motion sickness pretty easily in cars but not on cruise ships. you still may get it. bring some dramamine(spelling) just in case.

go ahead and bring some aloe vera stuff with you... if you get burnt you won't want to spend a **** load of money on the stuff from the boat or even from the shops around ports. they will rape you with the stuff and you gladly oblige.

don't try buying knives, guns, drugs and expect to bring them on the boat. from ports or your house.

try your hardest to make the 'formal' breakfasts as opposed to buffet line. better food.

at dinner if you try something and it tastes like **** tell your waiter you want something else. they'll give it to you.

use the stairs everywhere you go. this will keep you from gaining 10 pounds and will limit your gain to only 5.

the process before the boat leaves for the first time sucks ****. first you get to the security to get on the boat which is similar to airport security and can take just as long. then you wait in long lines to 'check in'. then you wait in a lobby area with many people waiting to get ont he boat. it can take a while sometimes as they have to clean the entire ship for the new people comin aboard. meanwhile during this entire time you'll probably be starving, bring food, and you'll probably be sweating as you'll be leaving from a place that is about 100 degrees with 90% humidity. once you get on the boat and everyone else has as well they do a drill to show you where your muster station is so you won't end up like leo from titantic. that process seems like it takes forever. my adivce here is to find some ugly chicks and chat it up. I say ugly so you vamp up your self-confidence that way when the boat gets goin and the hot chicks change into their bikinis you can go ont he prowl with moderate success.

the 'clubs' are laughable. go to them and watch some old people. don't go expecting to grind up on some *****. they are probably out ont he decks somewhere.

the rooms are fairly small. if you're going with buds and you expect to score they will end up watchin. although it's very dark int he rooms at night and in mornings so you'll probably be good there.

beware of mayo and other cold items that you can get from buffets. it's hard to keep things at a good temperature so things can get nasty fast. however if you have a strong stomach **** it you'll probably be alright.

my experience with the 18 year or older deck is that it is mainly middle aged people walkin around naked. idk maybe you can find a cougar if you're lucky.

just remember girls make terrible decisions when they are drunk, with their friends, on a beach. this should work in your favor.

last piece of advice is to get back to the boat from the ports like 30 minutes before you have to be. it takes time to go through the check in process from the ports. not a long time but it can be tedious if you are wasted and about to die.

 

hope that helps. have fun. byebye

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if you like to eat you'll love the cruise.

if you like to drink you'll love the ports.

Drink water on boat not at ports.

Drink alcohol at ports not on boat.

take a couple bottles of alcohol in your luggage' date=' should be legal. I know that's me and some friends. then you have your mixers from the boat and the booze from your luggage.

don't try to bring liquor that you bought from the ports onto the boat. they take it when you get back ont eh boat. has to do with the tax of liquor. I think you can buy something like 6 bottles of liquor before you have to pay tax when you get back to u.s. soil. (they of course give you the liquor back when you get to u.s.). advice to you would be to take a water bottle drink the water and then fill it up with booze so you can take it back on the boat ;)

the misconception about cruises is that there are only fat people on it... well there are only fat people on the boat at the pools when you are the ports as the hotties are out at the beach at the ports...

apply sunscreen twice a day... something about the reflection off of the water that makes it that much worse.

I get motion sickness pretty easily in cars but not on cruise ships. you still may get it. bring some dramamine(spelling) just in case.

go ahead and bring some aloe vera stuff with you... if you get burnt you won't want to spend a **** load of money on the stuff from the boat or even from the shops around ports. they will rape you with the stuff and you gladly oblige.

don't try buying knives, guns, drugs and expect to bring them on the boat. from ports or your house.

try your hardest to make the 'formal' breakfasts as opposed to buffet line. better food.

at dinner if you try something and it tastes like **** tell your waiter you want something else. they'll give it to you.

use the stairs everywhere you go. this will keep you from gaining 10 pounds and will limit your gain to only 5.

the process before the boat leaves for the first time sucks ****. first you get to the security to get on the boat which is similar to airport security and can take just as long. then you wait in long lines to 'check in'. then you wait in a lobby area with many people waiting to get ont he boat. it can take a while sometimes as they have to clean the entire ship for the new people comin aboard. meanwhile during this entire time you'll probably be starving, bring food, and you'll probably be sweating as you'll be leaving from a place that is about 100 degrees with 90% humidity. once you get on the boat and everyone else has as well they do a drill to show you where your muster station is so you won't end up like leo from titantic. that process seems like it takes forever. my adivce here is to find some ugly chicks and chat it up. I say ugly so you vamp up your self-confidence that way when the boat gets goin and the hot chicks change into their bikinis you can go ont he prowl with moderate success.

the 'clubs' are laughable. go to them and watch some old people. don't go expecting to grind up on some *****. they are probably out ont he decks somewhere.

the rooms are fairly small. if you're going with buds and you expect to score they will end up watchin. although it's very dark int he rooms at night and in mornings so you'll probably be good there.

beware of mayo and other cold items that you can get from buffets. it's hard to keep things at a good temperature so things can get nasty fast. however if you have a strong stomach **** it you'll probably be alright.

my experience with the 18 year or older deck is that it is mainly middle aged people walkin around naked. idk maybe you can find a cougar if you're lucky.

just remember girls make terrible decisions when they are drunk, with their friends, on a beach. this should work in your favor.

last piece of advice is to get back to the boat from the ports like 30 minutes before you have to be. it takes time to go through the check in process from the ports. not a long time but it can be tedious if you are wasted and about to die.

 

hope that helps. have fun. byebye[/quote']

 

:eek: You got some cliff notes for this? :D

 

Oh and on my cruise we werent 'supposed' to or allowed to bring alcohol onto the boat.

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:eek: You got some cliff notes for this? :D

 

Oh and on my cruise we werent 'supposed' to or allowed to bring alcohol onto the boat.

 

lol cliff notes...

 

hit on ugly chicks first. hit on hot chicks on the beach while at ports. eat your *** off. wear sunblock. drink booze at ports and always try to bring your own type of drink on the boat... beats 7 beer

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lol cliff notes...

 

hit on ugly chicks first. hit on hot chicks on the beach while at ports. eat your *** off. wear sunblock. drink booze at ports and always try to bring your own type of drink on the boat... beats 7 beer

 

Yeah the prices on the ship are just plain ridiculous. Almost like going to south beach

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Cruises.

 

Great the first 2 days, meh, the rest.

 

The most fun you'll have is partying with the senior citizens, then once the time hits where the hotties should be about good and sauced up, talking about partying it up with the seniors and making their good time better will get a lot of "Awwwwwwww how sweeeeeeeeeet!" and "Awww, that's so cute." from the googly eyed drunk chics.

 

The F-Tard that's been sitting there chattin em up half the night will be upset that you are now getting all the attention, but well, that's his problem, leave him the ugly one and find a more private place to hang out with them. Enjoy the rest of your night, 3 is a company can be a very good thing.

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Yes, things that add up are excursions, drinks and the gratuity at the end of your cruise. Depending on the length of your cruise it can add up as it is expected that you tip $10-15 per person per day. So a 7 day cruise for two can be between $140 - $210 just for in your final gratuity. Excursions can be around $100 per person per excursion, so it is easy to see bills of $600-$1000 just for excursions.

 

The quality of your cruise is also very much dependent on what cruise line you are sailing with, as well as what type of cruise experience you are looking for. Do you want a party boat? (Carnival) Do you want a old geezer boat? (Holland America/Princess) Do you want a larger boat with lots of activities? (Royal Caribbean) Do you want a good food boat? (Royal Caribbean/NCL).

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Yes' date=' things that add up are excursions, drinks and the gratuity at the end of your cruise. Depending on the length of your cruise it can add up as it is expected that you tip $10-15 per person per day. So a 7 day cruise for two can be between $140 - $210 just for in your final gratuity. Excursions can be around $100 per person per excursion, so it is easy to see bills of $600-$1000 just for excursions.

 

The quality of your cruise is also very much dependent on what cruise line you are sailing with, as well as what type of cruise experience you are looking for. Do you want a party boat? (Carnival) Do you want a old geezer boat? (Holland America/Princess) Do you want a larger boat with lots of activities? (Royal Caribbean) Do you want a good food boat? (Royal Caribbean/NCL).[/quote']

 

**** the tips... will you ever see them again ;)

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Don't know ish about 'em.

 

I've been on two ( Carnival) and they will be the last. Here's the truth about cruises...ready?

 

Drinks are over priced and you can't bring drinks on the cruise if you get off for an excursion

 

There's old people everywhere. An old man craped his pants in front of us in line and it landed on the floor in front of us (True story)

 

Kids everywhere

 

The food outside of dinner (buffets) taste like Golden Corral

 

And...

 

Most of the rooms are small

 

I didn't learn the first time because I thought they would of gotten better after 15 years but they didn't. Cruises suck! Unless your old.

 

Please let us know how you enjoyed it.

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I've been on two ( Carnival) and they will be the last. Here's the truth about cruises...ready?

 

Drinks are over priced and you can't bring drinks on the cruise if you get off for an excursion

 

There's old people everywhere. An old man craped his pants in front of us in line and it landed on the floor in front of us (True story)

 

Kids everywhere

 

The food outside of dinner (buffets) taste like Golden Corral

 

And...

 

Most of the rooms are small

 

I didn't learn the first time because I thought they would of gotten better after 15 years but they didn't. Cruises suck! Unless your old.

 

Please let us know how you enjoyed it.

 

Dang mang sounds like you had 2 bad cruise liners my cruise was AWESOME....beside the high priced drink but again I was able to smuggle some liquor onto the boat.

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Dang mang sounds like you had 2 bad cruise liners my cruise was AWESOME....beside the high priced drink but again I was able to smuggle some liquor onto the boat.

 

lol i know... they don't open bags when you go through security... just pack in some bottles...

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I've been on two ( Carnival) and they will be the last. Here's the truth about cruises...ready?

 

Drinks are over priced and you can't bring drinks on the cruise if you get off for an excursion

 

There's old people everywhere. An old man craped his pants in front of us in line and it landed on the floor in front of us (True story)

 

Kids everywhere

 

The food outside of dinner (buffets) taste like Golden Corral

 

And...

 

Most of the rooms are small

 

I didn't learn the first time because I thought they would of gotten better after 15 years but they didn't. Cruises suck! Unless your old.

 

Please let us know how you enjoyed it.

 

lol you must have been looking for the party hard chicks at like 9 in the morning while on the boat... most younger people sleep in

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I've been on two ( Carnival) and they will be the last. Here's the truth about cruises...ready?

 

Drinks are over priced and you can't bring drinks on the cruise if you get off for an excursion

 

There's old people everywhere. An old man craped his pants in front of us in line and it landed on the floor in front of us (True story)

 

Kids everywhere

 

The food outside of dinner (buffets) taste like Golden Corral

 

And...

 

Most of the rooms are small

 

I didn't learn the first time because I thought they would of gotten better after 15 years but they didn't. Cruises suck! Unless your old.

 

Yeah, I thought they were highly over rated myself. Like I said, I enjoyed the first couple days, but once the new experience thing wore off, I would have rather been in the mountains or on a truely wild river.

 

The old folks were cool as hell to party with though. I will admit that. Something really cool about knowing it's possible that the last great and enjoyable memory they may have in life was having fun with the nice and respectful young man that wasn't too embarrassed to party with them.

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Yeah' date=' I thought they were highly over rated myself. Like I said, I enjoyed the first couple days, but once the new experience thing wore off, I would have rather been in the mountains or on a truely wild river.

 

The old folks were cool as hell to party with though. I will admit that. Something really cool about knowing it's possible that the last great and enjoyable memory they may have in life was having fun with the nice and respectful young man that wasn't too embarrassed to party with them.[/quote']

 

lmao +1

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Yeah' date=' I thought they were highly over rated myself. Like I said, I enjoyed the first couple days, but once the new experience thing wore off, I would have rather been in the mountains or on a truely wild river.

 

The old folks were cool as hell to party with though. I will admit that. Something really cool about knowing it's possible that the last great and enjoyable memory they may have in life was having fun with the nice and respectful young man that wasn't too embarrassed to party with them.[/quote']

 

I could listen to old people all day. They have the best stories and experiences.

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I could listen to old people all day. They have the best stories and experiences.

 

some of their stories are crazy as hell compared to today's standards...

 

how many people would hope a train now and go cross country to somewhere they no one... lol. or how about sneaking a soldier off an army base and getting hitched? lol wth...

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some of their stories are crazy as hell compared to today's standards...

 

how many people would hope a train now and go cross country to somewhere they no one... lol. or how about sneaking a soldier off an army base and getting hitched? lol wth...

 

Older people have some facinating stories no doubt, I'm with you on the sitting and talking with them all day.

 

They were just as crazy as any of us were.

 

We like to think things are different now. Yeah, while the THINGS are different. People haven't really changed that much. The only difference in the people is that back then they worked hard, were respectful, and honorable. These days they are resentful, over entitled, disrespectful, and think they are a lot smarter than they really are.

 

Older people > younger people every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

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Yeah' date=' I thought they were highly over rated myself. Like I said, I enjoyed the first couple days, but once the new experience thing wore off, I would have rather been in the mountains or on a truely wild river.

 

The old folks were cool as hell to party with though. I will admit that. Something really cool about knowing it's possible that the last great and enjoyable memory they may have in life was having fun with the nice and respectful young man that wasn't too embarrassed to party with them.[/quote']

 

Don't get me wrong, I like to throw back beers with old timers and listen to the war stories as much as the next guy but my wife and I take full responsibility for spending all that money on a cruise that wasn't for us. Old people are great...when they're not crapping their pants or gathered in masses at the food buffett. I know I sound like a prick but we had something else in mind and that wasn't it. We still made the best of it with the excursions. I'm not sure if these pics will show or not but this was in the jungles of Belize...

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38096_408205819526_2893905_n.jpg

 

My hot wife with a Johnny Depp look alike...

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38246_408219749526_677418_n.jpg

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