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jduk

I am Adam Lanza's mother

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Great article. I'm sure there are so many parents who struggle with difficult children that are in need of help.

 

I've known a few really bad kids, in every single case the parent was the root of the problem.

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the parents have no idea what they're supposed to do, my mother used to care for a child a coupe of hours a day that sounds similar to the one in the article, and she had to give it up, because it was starting to become dangerous as he got bigger, so looking after him full time would be horrible

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the parents have no idea what they're supposed to do' date=' my mother used to care for a child a coupe of hours a day that sounds similar to the one in the article, and she had to give it up, because it was starting to become dangerous as he got bigger, so looking after him full time would be horrible[/quote']

 

I'd wager that in most cases, it's all about discipline, which needs to start early. From my point of view it sounds like somebody wanted to saddle your mother with their problem. I mean, this kid calls his mom a ***** and gets grounded from electronics for a day??? Yeah, that will teach him. :rolleyes:

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I can't imagine trying to reconcile your memories of your child as a child with the reality that your child is a murderer & has been the sole cause of so much pain for so many people.

 

I don't know that I agree this is a "discipline" issue. I could very well be wrong, but I can't imagine someone would have no problem shooting 6 year olds point black, one after the other, because they didn't get enough discipline. Seems like something else would have to be in play there.

 

I dunno man, breaks my heart.

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I can't imagine trying to reconcile your memories of your child as a child with the reality that your child is a murderer & has been the sole cause of so much pain for so many people.

 

I don't know that I agree this is a "discipline" issue. I could very well be wrong' date=' but I can't imagine someone would have no problem shooting 6 year olds point black, one after the other, because they didn't get enough discipline. Seems like something else would have to be in play there.

 

I dunno man, breaks my heart.[/quote']

 

Did you read the article? I'm not talking about discipline for the person who committed the shooting, I'm talking about discipline for the brat in the article, if he is even real.

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Did you read the article? I'm not talking about discipline for the person who committed the shooting' date=' I'm talking about discipline for the brat in the article, if he is even real.[/quote']

 

haha

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I can't imagine trying to reconcile your memories of your child as a child with the reality that your child is a murderer & has been the sole cause of so much pain for so many people.

 

I don't know that I agree this is a "discipline" issue. I could very well be wrong' date=' but I can't imagine someone would have no problem shooting 6 year olds point black, one after the other, because they didn't get enough discipline. Seems like something else would have to be in play there.

 

I dunno man, breaks my heart.[/quote']

 

 

I dont think discipline is the sole answer. No matter how good of a parent you are, kids are people and as such they will have to make their own choices in life. Some of it could medical, some of it could just be thats the way they are wired...

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In a thread about mothers of children with similarities to the shooter, I misunderstood you saying, "I'd wager that in most cases, it's all about discipline, which needs to start early" as implying you thought a lack of discipline played the most significant role in tragedies like this. My bad.

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Me and my brother grew up in the same ****ed up house with the same ****ed up **** going on.

 

I graduated HS, College, never break the law, and am raising my 1 child with my wife.

 

My brother has been in gangs, failed school, been to jail for the 4th time now, and has had 5 children some illegitimate, and abused two of them.

 

 

Personal responsibility. It's not the mothers fault, the fathers fault, guns fault, or societies fault. We all have free will.

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I do think there is some issues with our way of handling mental illness. For one I think they prescribe medicine way too easily to people that think there may be something wrong with them. I could sooo easily get a prescription for Xanax with a simple psychiatrist visit even tho i'm in very good mental health. The mental health field in comparison is very young. You say you get negative thoughts they will prescribe **** to you. Everyone does tho!!! It's not all beautiful sunrises/kittens playing/childrens laughter. The reason I bring this up is since these people with prob no mental illness what so ever are being prescribed medicine for mental illness (Prob a very low dosage) but what this does is convince someone they have a problem which if you ask me manifests itself into an even larger problem over time.This doesn't exactly apply to the mass murderers but I do think it's a problem that should be addressed.You tell someone something is wrong with them long enough and before you know it they believe it's true.

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Coming from a place of mental disorder myself, I know how crazy it could be to have a mental disorder. It takes you to places that most people would never ever want to feel, but there are many highs that you have along the road as well. Personally, I could never bring myself to kill little children though. No matter how twisted your brain is and how dysfunctional things could get, there is no excuse even to the slightest degree, in killing little children. We all are humans and adults and know right from wrong.

 

One thing that people could take out of mental illness though is that the life of that person and those around them is more painful than you could even fathom. For me personally, I had an extreme case of OCD where you literally believe you have to do the oddest compulsions imaginable every day just to feel that everyone you love is safe. It was heart-wrenching and painful for me and my family on an everyday basis, and 10+ years later I'm finally on my way to full recovery.

 

So I will say that mental illness can be cured, and that people around those who are mentally ill have to do everything possible to stay calm and not add fuel to the fire while their kid or family member goes through a phases that is the worst of the worst. A lot of these people that kill have mental illness and a prior history of being goth or doing wrong things like this before they kill, and those people need to be given every chance in the world to recover, and if they ever get too bad, I believe they need to be in a locked up facility.

 

Anyways, dealing with mental illness properly is a small part of the solution. Personal accountability is still always in tact even though someone has a mental illness, and the best solution possible to save our future children is to be as good to others as we possibly can so we don't create an environment where this could happen again

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no amount of discipline is going to help a child like that, there is just a switch in there head and once that goes there gone. You just can't have someone like that in your house no matter how much you love them they need to be in a place that can give them the care they need while keeping there family and the rest of us safe.

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Was a good read, and cudos for that parent for doing what she had to do. Many parents would have had a major issue giving up her child like that, even though it was probably the right thing to do.

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Ok, a few rare opinions from me. Not at all related to being associated with my company in any way.

 

- While it may seem like an attention grab, I think it is necessary to pull the focus towards mental health management in this country. It's too broad and difficult for news shows (on either side of the political spectrum) to really deal with quickly, so they choose to talk about guns. Mental illness was the cause, the catalyst, and guns were the tool that carried out the plan. Until doctors and insurance companies and counselors get their **** in order, it will continue to happen more and more as the population grows.

 

- I feel for this woman. She is real, that's been verified. There are mothers across the country and around the world (and dads and extended family and teachers and counselors and case workers...etc) who deal with this sort of child daily. I can only begin to imagine the day-to-day functioning of their households, tip-toeing around their wonder child who could blow up at any moment. There is not any real help for them right now, and even with insurance it is a daunting pile of bills in store just to get the little help that does exist.

 

- I worry for my own kids. They are smart. Very smart, But, for reasons I won't disclose, I keep a very close eye on the behavior of one, and try to work effective parenting around the emotional needs of that child. If it is a struggle for me, I can't fathom how difficult it would be to live in full-on fear of your child.

 

- All of this sucks. We can all only hope that at some point this creates EFFECTIVE change for the better.

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Ok' date=' a few rare opinions from me. Not at all related to being associated with my company in any way.

 

- While it may seem like an attention grab, I think it is necessary to pull the focus towards mental health management in this country. It's too broad and difficult for news shows (on either side of the political spectrum) to really deal with quickly, so they choose to talk about guns. Mental illness was the cause, the catalyst, and guns were the tool that carried out the plan. Until doctors and insurance companies and counselors get their **** in order, it will continue to happen more and more as the population grows.

 

- I feel for this woman. She is real, that's been verified. There are mothers across the country and around the world (and dads and extended family and teachers and counselors and case workers...etc) who deal with this sort of child daily. I can only begin to imagine the day-to-day functioning of their households, tip-toeing around their wonder child who could blow up at any moment. There is not any real help for them right now, and even with insurance it is a daunting pile of bills in store just to get the little help that does exist.

 

- I worry for my own kids. They are smart. Very smart, But, for reasons I won't disclose, I keep a very close eye on the behavior of one, and try to work effective parenting around the emotional needs of that child. If it is a struggle for me, I can't fathom how difficult it would be to live in full-on fear of your child.

 

- All of this sucks. We can all only hope that at some point this creates EFFECTIVE change for the better.[/quote']

 

I agree with you leonie.

 

I understand the right to privacy, but if your right to privacy infringes on anothers right to safety, I think something should be considered there.

 

I just don't understand one thing. I know no parent wants to put a child in jail to get them into the system. Reality is it shouldn't come to this. But if your child is a future danger to society, they should be in the system no matter what it takes, it doesn't have to infringe on privacy and say why, it just needs to have flags associated with their history.

 

The only way to keep people with mental issues away from guns is to ensure they are in the system. It's not the systems fault, there are already things in place to prevent people with mental issues and violent histories from obtaining guns legally. But if they are never placed into the system, the system no longer works.

 

Last time I went and purchased a firearm, right ahead of me a guy got denied because of a PENDING domestic violence charge. The system works. But only if responsible citizens are doing their jobs to help the system function properly. No system that will ever be implemented will always work without the help of responsible citizens.

 

We can't legislate away crazy, irresponsible, violent, etc. At least not without giving up a fair share of human rights.

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That was tough.

 

I think some of you are forgetting that we are the way we are due to our body. Altering the brain and body will change the way you think and perceive the world.

 

Say what you want, but serial killers and sociopaths really don't have a choice when it comes to committing violent actions.

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