Jump to content

Religious Essay for school


BruteDion

Recommended Posts

hey guys i need ur help...im writing an essay for my college English class and it has to be a Cause or Effect type...notice how is said Cause OR effect...i cant do both and im struggling with it cuz i have to pick only one to do and i cant really talk about both...its also in MLA format but i edited out some of the formality to make it easier to post and read on here ok

 

my essay is on the community and its effect it can have on the importance of religion in said community...ok here it is...just give me ur thoughts on it to help improve my work ok....i am not trying to convince you at all...im just trying to inform on a effect...if any one is well verse in MLA fomate i could use the help cuz until now i have never had to use it or was taught it

 

Does Religion Need Strife?

 

When was the first time you went to a place of worship? If you were like it me, it was when you just a child. The building seemed like such a grandiose plane. Its walls were high, the paint was always fresh, and its seats were always full. This can leave a very strong impression on a child. Most of all if that child comes from a place of low income. In areas like this, it is far too common to see the biggest and best buildings in the community are in fact places of worship. If you have spent your whole life in the same community it is hard to notice the smaller changes in it. Now fast forward to today, is it just as big and new looking? Most importantly, how many people are now attending the normal services? Has your neighborhood changed for the better in that time or gotten worse? Can you now notice change in your place on worship in relation to the community it sits inside? The community and the happiness of its people have an effect on the religious worship in said community and its importance to the citizens.

 

The state of the community is a very important determination of the importance of religion that its citizens hold. The places in our nation that tend to have people who view religion as not that important in their day to day lives normally live in areas that have a low crime rate. Having a life filled with general happiness and low strife keeps people from thinking of places that are better than their current situation. Becca Weinstein writes “When earthly conditions are bad, heaven looks especially appealing. Mississippi – which ranks near the bottom in income, health, and education-has the highest percentage of residents who say religion is important to their daily lives “(Weinstein, “A better place: under God-or over God?” Faith varies by State 2012). Places much like Mississippi and other “bible belt” areas of our nation has some of the highest crime rates that can be found in our nation and residents who are not happy with their neighborhoods. This can lead the people of the community to seek other ways to escape their own realities. Some turn to religion and its promises of saving graces. While this seems to be the case in many low-income and high crime areas, what happens when the environment is one of general happiness and peace?

 

Contrary to what the media likes to put out there for American’s to think, the crime rate in this nation is on a steady trend down. The FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin published in 2012 has stated “ Overall, the estimated volume of violate crime in 2010 dropped 6 percent compared with the 2009 figure, the fourth consecutive year it has declined. For the eight consecutive year the volume of property crime also went down-2.7 percent” (The FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin: 81.1 2012). This is generally saying that the general amount of crime happening in America is slowly decreasing year after year. This has led to more and more people feeling safer and finding their community as a better place than it once was before. This maybe has lead people to finding happiness outside of the houses of worship or religious institutions. Becca Weinstein again writes “In states like Vermont, where income and education is high and crime is low, residents are less likely to dangle rosaries from their rear views or nail mezuzahs to their door frames” (Weinstein, “A better place: under God-or over God?” Faith varies by State 2012). This goes to show that when the quality of living is a given community goes up, the importance of religion and what it has to offer in terms of protection and meaningfulness goes down. On the other side of the coin, when life is harder on the community and its citizens, it can drive them to go seek out faith and its offerings of a better life. How do religious institutions react to this growth in need from the people? The trends show that it seems to flourish in these much needed areas.

 

In their need and want to help people in their times of need and strife, most religious institutions are more than glad to step in to help the people of its community. This can lead to the religious body becoming more and more important to the people in their daily lives, almost a dependency if you will. Father Ronald Giannone who is The Ministry of Caring leader said in Gary Morton’s article “We’re committed to the religious needs of the poor, wither it is housing or education or whatever” (41). The willingness for religious groups to step in and help the poor and distraught persons helps foster a growth of religious importance in a person or community. Without the needs by the masses, then maybe the religion does not flourish to the point it currently does in those areas in need.

 

If trends keep going in any given area or even on a national scale like it has with the decrease in crime rate to the likes of a state like Vermont then we may see a massive increase in people who no longer view religion as equally important as they used to do. When earthly struggles are removed from the environment and the masses are more content with their day to day lives, then the religious offerings of a better life or escape do not seem as smoothing one has to strive for more and more each day.

 

 

thanks for the time guys and please let me know ur ideas on how to make it better

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I probably won't be much help because English is not really my thing but.....

 

"If you were like it me, it was when you just a child."

 

About the essay itself not a bad read but it does come off a bit like it reads from a wiki page. Your composition seems fine. You have a sort of anyone can relate type of arguement intro to catch the readers attention and flows nicely into a descriptive body with citations to back up your points and then you make a strong opinionated conclusion. Seems ok to me but i'm no writer or even that good at English.

 

Pretty interesting topic though with the correlation between poverty/crime/education and people seeking out some form of hope be it religious or otherwise.

 

Where is Leiting when you need him?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

feels like there's too much narrative and not enough fact.

 

have a look in some social science databases, Durkheim for functionalism, marx for conflict theory and weber for social change. Some solid material there

 

You know I felt the same way but it's what my teacher wants...she said if there is more then 20% of stats/factors/etc, then it's not my work...it's just me listing other peoples work which I can understand

 

It's hard to claim "this effect happens" cuz of how I feel and not add facts...I felt like I'm just blabbing lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I probably won't be much help because English is not really my thing but.....

 

"If you were like it me, it was when you just a child."

 

About the essay itself not a bad read but it does come off a bit like it reads from a wiki page. Your composition seems fine. You have a sort of anyone can relate type of arguement intro to catch the readers attention and flows nicely into a descriptive body with citations to back up your points and then you make a strong opinionated conclusion. Seems ok to me but i'm no writer or even that good at English.

 

Pretty interesting topic though with the correlation between poverty/crime/education and people seeking out some form of hope be it religious or otherwise.

 

Where is Leiting when you need him?

 

Yeah where is he cuz he's needed here

 

Thanks for the in put...I had to only us stuff from the schools data base...which was a must so that's why it can seem Wiki much uknow

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

feels like there's too much narrative and not enough fact.

 

have a look in some social science databases, Durkheim for functionalism, marx for conflict theory and weber for social change. Some solid material there

 

You know I felt the same way but it's what my teacher wants...she said if there is more then 20% of stats/factors/etc, then it's not my work...it's just me listing other peoples work which I can understand

 

It's hard to claim "this effect happens" cuz of how I feel and not add facts...I felt like I'm just blabbing lol

 

I agree with your teacher 100%. For one it challenges you to write and actually think for yourself instead of just citing a bunch of peoples stuff to support one vague argument or position you take.

 

To me a bunch of copy pasta and citing too much statistical data or opinions/conclusions of other peoples work reveals the persons arguments are fragile and they didn't dig deep to putting much thought into it but instead just followed in someone else's footsteps without question using someone else's thoughts and ideas as a crutch to prop up their own beliefs.

 

That being said it is very very effective method of argument especially when citing multiple very well respected expert sources on the topic but to me it's way more persuasive when a person isn't afraid to put thier own thoughts out there on the table and say why they think that way and to show they can also question main stream thoughts or ideas and even takes it a step further to question their own biased opinions.

 

A person that projects extreme confidence and appears completely certain about their beliefs on a particular subject is usually a stubborn close minded person and they may have some or even a great deal of knowledge on the subject but when they start to come to absolute conclusions like they have it all figured out it's pretty easy to see they don't question themselves because they don't have their ego in check. It's an act and they simply pretend to be so resolute to get naive less informed sheep to believe in their wolf ticket BS.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...