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Jason_H aka KungFuMaster vs Eclipse aka The Roided Chad


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Citizens of the ufc forums, a great battle is about to unfold before your very eyes.  We are here at the ufc coliseum and the stage is set for what could be the most epic battle in human history.  We have a Neanderthal who hails from the great plains of CANada.  He possesses great and brutal strength which he has harnessed from his daily diet of horsemeat.  This beast has crushed human skulls with a simple twitch of his powerful and roided hands.  Fellow Neanderthals and subhuman species offer LIKES to the mighty beast and they all cringe at the very sound of his name.  I present to you - the one.... 

the only,

the beast from the plains of CANada,

the Neanderthal of all neanderthals,

the crusher of skulls,

the recepient of many LIKES,

I give you

Eclipse, The Roided Chaaaaaaaaaaadddd!

 

And his opponent, hailing from the deserts of California...he's old, he's dehydrated, he's Asian.  He possesses a fishing pole and a tackle box.  This little man has done battles with scorpions, cati, and spiders but never has he faced a mountain of a beast like the Neanderthal.  I give you - the one

the only

the little Asian man with a fishing pole

the crusher of little bugs,

the recepient of no LIKES

the loner

the man with an 8 inch bicep

he stands a patheric 5 foot 6 inches tall

with no friends and no back up

I give you

Jason_H, the Kung Fu Master of the deserts!

 

 

 

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She was awesome. My second year at uni was ruined chasing (unsuccessfully) after a lass who looked just like her

it ruined my first proper go at a relationship because i couldnt stop banging one out to her lololololol

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She was awesome. My second year at uni was ruined chasing (unsuccessfully) after a lass who looked just like her

I was in LOVE (retardo high school love), with a girl for 3 years that looked like a mix of her and young Uma Thurman. I finally mustered courage to get her number in the last year of HS, and it turned out that she really liked me. I put her on such a pedestal that I couldn't speak to her, and avoided her for the rest of the year. That was one of the most loser moves of my life.

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it ruined my first proper go at a relationship because i couldnt stop banging one out to her lololololol

i'll point out i didnt watch this movie for a long time after it had come out, which didnt help i think

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I was in LOVE (retardo high school love), with a girl for 3 years that looked like a mix of her and young Uma Thurman. I finally mustered courage to get her number in the last year of HS, and it turned out that she really liked me. I put her on such a pedestal that I couldn't speak to her, and avoided her for the rest of the year. That was one of the most loser moves of my life.

200.gif

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How will this battle manifest itself?

We are men of honor.  We set a date for which the battle will take place.  I have much to prepare for I am only one with a fishing pole.  The beast has guns a' blazing and an army behind him.  Should be an interesting battle. 

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We are men of honor.  We set a date for which the battle will take place.  I have much to prepare for I am only one with a fishing pole.  The beast has guns a' blazing and an army behind him.  Should be an interesting battle. 

Are you guys going to settle this over a game of dungeons and dragons?

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Citizens of the ufc forums, a great battle is about to unfold before your very eyes.  We are here at the ufc coliseum and the stage is set for what could be the most epic battle in human history.  We have a Neanderthal who hails from the great plains of CANada.  He possesses great and brutal strength which he has harnessed from his daily diet of horsemeat.  This beast has crushed human skulls with a simple twitch of his powerful and roided hands.  Fellow Neanderthals and subhuman species offer LIKES to the mighty beast and they all cringe at the very sound of his name.  I present to you - the one.... 

the only,

the beast from the plains of CANada,

the Neanderthal of all neanderthals,

the crusher of skulls,

the recepient of many LIKES,

I give you

Eclipse, The Roided Chaaaaaaaaaaadddd!

 

And his opponent, hailing from the deserts of California...he's old, he's dehydrated, he's Asian.  He possesses a fishing pole and a tackle box.  This little man has done battles with scorpions, cati, and spiders but never has he faced a mountain of a beast like the Neanderthal.  I give you - the one

the only

the little Asian man with a fishing pole

the crusher of little bugs,

the recepient of no LIKES

the loner

the man with an 8 inch bicep

he stands a patheric 5 foot 6 inches tall

with no friends and no back up

I give you

Jason_H, the Kung Fu Master of the deserts!

LMFAO. This post actually made me laugh. How the **** didn't anybody give it a like? No wait, I have a good response to it though.

 

shut-the-fuck-up-o.gifGif Credit by Fobar

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I've spooled new lines for my fishing rod and rigged it with my most trusty lure, the Sinko.  Said a prayer to the almighty Poseidon to grant me strength and courage to reel in a Kraken. 

 

Neanderthal, I'm ready for you.  Make your move. 

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giphy.gif

 

This ^^

 

You trying to Jon Jones me and jack my swag??!?!?!?!!?

 

 

I'll keep it simple.... look at everyone who came in here and said i would body you...

 

Now count how many came to your defence...

 

I'll go a little simpler... make a wish in one hand.... crap in the other..see which one gets filled faster....

 

This thread backfired on you the moment you hit new topic....

 

 

 

 

Go find a car fire and cook chitty wok.....

 

 

Sincerely your's

#IfIWasEclipse...

 

which i am

 

and your not....

Edited by Eclipse76
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This ^^

 

You trying to Jon Jones me and jack my swag??!?!?!?!!?

 

 

I'll keep it simple.... look at everyone who came in here and said i would body you...

 

Now count how many came to your defence...

 

I'll go a little simpler... make a wish in one hand.... crap in the other..see which one gets filled faster....

 

This thread backfired on you the moment you hit new topic....

 

 

 

 

Go find a car fire and cook chitty wok.....

 

 

Sincerely your's

#IfIWasEclipse...

 

which i am

 

and your not....

LOL, I wasn't expecting any real battle.  And I'll make it even simpler...

 

You think that because you have friends and I have no supporter that you would win haha. 

Sure Sherlock, you win.  I tap. 

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We are men of honor.  We set a date for which the battle will take place.  I have much to prepare for I am only one with a fishing pole.  The beast has guns a' blazing and an army behind him.  Should be an interesting battle. 

This is how the battle went down:

 

It was a chilly morning as the fog had lifted from the arena.  On this day, a victor would be decided as two men were to throw down in an epic battle of skill and wit. 

 

A stumpy asian fellow was seen walking with his tackle box and fisherman rod.  It was questionable what the expression on his face was.  While it may have been determination in mind, it truly seemed like he was constipated.

 

On the other side of the arena stepped forth a fiery giant sized man holding a hockey stick and Aunt Jemima's maple syrup.  In his pouch lay the contents of Canadian bacon freshly made.  Truly, he was ready to throw down as he furrowed his brow in agitation.

 

The fiery red haired giant charged into the middle of the arena yelling "For Asgard!!!!!!!!" causing the stumpy asian fellow to startle as yellow liquid flowed through his leg, staining his pants.  The giant known as The Chad grabbed some Canadian Bacon and ate it in haste as he continued charging the battlefield chanting cryptic Canadian vicious slurs such as "Hello Friend!"  The asian fellow hurled his fisherman's rod at the great beast, but the beast was left unscathed by the attack.  Just as The Chad was lifting his hockey stick high in the air and about to bring it down upon the poor old, asian man's head a sudden loud noise could be heard throughout the arena.

 

Both men were startled and unaware of what was going on.  Appearing through the thin air was the old asian man's ultimate weapon in hand.  This weapon seemed like a tooth like plastic object, meant for brushing and untangling hair.  Truly, this was his day to shine, he must thought as he had a moment to go on the offensive!  The Chad noticed the weapon in the asian man's hand and ripped open his Montreal Canadiens hockey jersey, revealing his chest hair.  The asian man stepped forward, weeping in agony as he was no match for The Chad.  Truly, it was a day of epic proportion.... otherwise known as every other day for Jason_H performing his daily ritual:

 

post-406774-0-02687700-1430282112.gif

Edited by _MMA_FTW_
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This is how the battle went down:

 

It was a chilly morning as the fog had lifted from the arena.  On this day, a victor would be decided as two men were to throw down in an epic battle of skill and wit. 

 

A stumpy asian fellow was seen walking with his tackle box and fisherman rod.  It was questionable what the expression on his face was.  While it may have been determination in mind, it truly seemed like he was constipated.

 

On the other side of the arena stepped forth a fiery giant sized man holding a hockey stick and Aunt Jemima's maple syrup.  In his pouch lay the contents of Canadian bacon freshly made.  Truly, he was ready to throw down as he furrowed his brow in agitation.

 

The fiery red haired giant charged into the middle of the arena yelling "For Asgard!!!!!!!!" causing the stumpy asian fellow to startle as yellow liquid flowed through his leg, staining his pants.  The giant known as The Chad grabbed some Canadian Bacon and ate it in haste as he continued charging the battlefield chanting cryptic Canadian vicious slurs such as "Hello Friend!"  The asian fellow hurled his fisherman's rod at the great beast, but the beast was left unscathed by the attack.  Just as The Chad was lifting his hockey stick high in the air and about to bring it down upon the poor old, asian man's head a sudden loud noise could be heard throughout the arena.

 

Both men were startled and unaware of what was going on.  Appearing through the thin air was the old asian man's ultimate weapon in hand.  This weapon seemed like a tooth like plastic object, meant for brushing and untangling hair.  Truly, this was his day to shine, he must thought as he had a moment to go on the offensive!  The Chad noticed the weapon in the asian man's hand and ripped open his Montreal Canadiens hockey jersey, revealing his chest hair.  The asian man stepped forward, weeping in agony as he was no match for The Chad.  Truly, it was a day of epic proportion.... otherwise known as every other day for Jason_H performing his daily ritual:

 

post-406774-0-02687700-1430282112.gif

I can aprreciate that and I would have LIKED it if you hadremoved that sig. 

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