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Bubba_Sparks

By Bubba_Sparks
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Bubba_Sparks

Bubba_Sparks

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Now that Brendan Schaub has EXCLUSIVELY revealed that Chael was doing nothing more than defending his wife's honour against FIVE people (4 men, one wimmens), I want to know who your fora hallway crue would be if you had to take down the American Gangsta with just yourself and 4 buddies from the fora.

I'm taking:

@Bwana (he sounds kinda violent)

@PlatinumClegg (he may be 5'8 and a half, but he hits like a HW)

@freddievanhalen3 (Chael has a cardboard cut-out of Freddie in his house...or maybe it's the other way; either, that will be a distraction)

@Eclipse76 (we'll use him as bait; good to send the weakest link in first as another distraction)

I'm leaving @cashfl0w on the bench because it's well known that the full platinum squad can take down any man alive so it would not be a fair fight for poor old Chael P.

Please submit your fora team of 5 for review. Thank you kindly and merry Christmas.

Edited by Bubba_Sparks
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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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  1. I'm 5'9" and probably an extra half an inch you bastard.  Look for real I'm not saying myself and @cashfl0w obliterate Francis who is our age and 6'5" 265.  But a 44 year old  Chael Sonnen that's 6'1" 215 we're gonna **** him beyond belief.  Believe that.  We're kinda old but he's 8 years older and outgunned AND we wouldn't disrespect his wife.  So it wouldn't happen but if it did we're gonna **** him up.  I don't care if I have to resort to shooting him.  He loses the fight.
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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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Posted
Just now, Bubba_Sparks said:

I'm just having some pre-Christmas fun homie.

I agree that if people know what they're doing, 3 v 1 are insurmountable odds.

Now give me your fora hallway team please.

What is that?

I'll take @cashfl0w and @Megasoup.  Give me tall heavyweights I don't need a 5 man crew.  People gonna bleed, mother****ers gonna get ****ed up and somebody might die.

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Conceive-Believe-Achieve

Conceive-Believe-Achieve

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Posted (edited)
53 minutes ago, Bubba_Sparks said:

I'm taking:

@Bwana (he sounds kinda violent)

@PlatinumClegg (he may be 5'8 and a half, but he hits like a HW)

@freddievanhalen3 (Chael has a cardboard cut-out of Freddie in his house...or maybe it's the other way; either, that will be a distraction)

@Eclipse76 (we'll use him as bait; good to send the weakest link in first as another distraction)

I’ll send you flowers, cause your gonna be in hospital for a while

 

 

Edited by Conceive-Believe-Achieve
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cashfl0w

cashfl0w

Posted
Posted (edited)

I've STARTED fights with four dudes on two separate occasions.. One of them, my girlfriend had rented out this place for a New Years Eve party. She's dancing away on the dance floor, and some doofus comes moonwalking towsrds her, looking like a drunken ****. He flails his arm behind himself, to this day I don't know what he was doing. But he smacks my girl directly across the face. His immediate move is to act embarrased, but also look to his three goofball friends and giggle... He did NOT apologize profusely and kiss her feet, like he probably should have.

I asked my buddy to hold my drink, without saying a word, I snatched that can up by the back of his neck and threw him about fifteen feet like a football through the doorway to the exit. His friends who thought chit was so hilarious didn't find it funny when I grabbed two of them by their necks and tried to see if I could squeeze the juice out of those idiots at the same time. I've been palming a basketball since like 7th grade, and my grip is strong-strong. lol

The fourth clown tries to grab me from behind. I pushed all my weight back into him, bent him backwards over a table. By that time, his friends had abandoned him. When I pulled his arm over my head and turned over on top of him, he started crying. lol.. He also got tossed out by his neck. 

Moral to the story, I'm not disrespecting anybody's woman and expecting it to go without consequences. I'm not gonna start some chit with Chael, but if he came up on me and my buddies and randomly wanted it.... he would get his skull smashed by some Jordans. I'm pretty sure any combo of me, Clegg, Roids, etc would be fine against nearly anybody.

Edited by cashfl0w
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classicboxer

classicboxer

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Posted
1 hour ago, cashfl0w said:

I've STARTED fights with four dudes on two separate occasions.. One of them, my girlfriend had rented out this place for a New Years Eve party. She's dancing away on the dance floor, and some doofus comes moonwalking towsrds her, looking like a drunken ****. He flails his arm behind himself, to this day I don't know what he was doing. But he smacks my girl directly across the face. His immediate move is to act embarrased, but also look to his three goofball friends and giggle... He did NOT apologize profusely and kiss her feet, like he probably should have.

I asked my buddy to hold my drink, without saying a word, I snatched that can up by the back of his neck and threw him about fifteen feet like a football through the doorway to the exit. His friends who thought chit was so hilarious didn't find it funny when I grabbed two of them by their necks and tried to see if I could squeeze the juice out of those idiots at the same time. I've been palming a basketball since like 7th grade, and my grip is strong-strong. lol

The fourth clown tries to grab me from behind. I pushed all my weight back into him, bent him backwards over a table. By that time, his friends had abandoned him. When I pulled his arm over my head and turned over on top of him, he started crying. lol.. He also got tossed out by his neck. 

Moral to the story, I'm not disrespecting anybody's woman and expecting it to go without consequences. I'm not gonna start some chit with Chael, but if he came up on me and my buddies and randomly wanted it.... he would get his skull smashed by some Jordans. I'm pretty sure any combo of me, Clegg, Roids, etc would be fine against nearly anybody.

What happened the second time?

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classicboxer

classicboxer

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Posted

The majority of my choices don't post anymore

1. Roids - Obvious choice unless you forgot about him like Bubba did

2. Eclipse - He would be number 1 if he wasn't a ginger

3. Stompgrind - Forum jiu jitsu idiot savant

4. Jason H - The closest thing to Bruce Lee on the forum

5. 12er - Military background, and he would annoy the **** out of the opponent

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cashfl0w

cashfl0w

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, classicboxer said:

What happened the second time?

I was having a house party, and some random guys showed up. Four of em. I had never seen any of them. My girlfriend's little sister apparently knew who they were, and wasn't fond of them. She wanted me to ask them to leave. So... it's my house, my party.. I asked them to leave calmly and without being confrontational. Just basically said, I don't know you guys, you gotta go. I walked away after.

Twenty minutes go by, and I walk back by where these guys are at, and sure enough, they're still there. I say "You guys must not have heard me", and I picked up the rest of their beers, most of a 24-pack, and I walked out my front door of the apartment, and threw them off the balcony. Told em go find their beer. As they were very slowly walking out, I hear the one in the back mumble something at me. Something about a b itch. So I snatched up a pipe I had nearby, and followed him out the door. Last guy and one other guy are still on the balcony with me, two on the stairs. I ask him what he said. He says nothing. So I swat the beer can out of the other guy's hand with the pipe. Ask him if he heard it. He says no and starts running down the stairs with the other two clowns. I turn back and swat the beer can out of the mouthy can's hand. He cowers and doesn't want it on the balcony. He gets to the bottom of the stairs, and suddenly he's Mike Tyson. He wants alllll the smoke, IF I put the pipe down. The other three goofs had sprinted around the building and were nowhere in sight. So I threw the pipe down on top of the stairs, and came down. He shoots for the weakest single leg ever, gets stood up and popped in the mouth with a straight right for his trouble. As we started fighting, his friends came speeding back into the lot, almost hitting him with their car when he fell backwards. He was about three feet from being under a tire. Mouthy guy on the ground gets up and without even being all the way into the car, they pull off, tearing off Mouthy Guy's Doc Martin shoe in the process.

Semi-related, but not really: Years later, Mouthy Guy ended up dating the ex in the previous story (the one who got slapped) shortly after I did. Not long after that, Mouthy Guy sees me at a bar and wants to buy me drinks and be my best friend. Says the ex put a bullchit restraining order on his father, the fire chief of our city, to get some sort of petty revenge on him, which I do believe is true. lol

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, classicboxer said:

The majority of my choices don't post anymore

1. Roids - Obvious choice unless you forgot about him like Bubba did

2. Eclipse - He would be number 1 if he wasn't a ginger

3. Stompgrind - Forum jiu jitsu idiot savant

4. Jason H - The closest thing to Bruce Lee on the forum

5. 12er - Military background, and he would annoy the **** out of the opponent

Nice troll job brother.  The first two listed I straight up would not fight.  Stomp and I would be PPV worthy.  I would kill those other two turds you listed quick, fast and in a mother****ing hurry.

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Bubba_Sparks

Bubba_Sparks

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3 hours ago, classicboxer said:

The majority of my choices don't post anymore

1. Roids - Obvious choice unless you forgot about him like Bubba did

2. Eclipse - He would be number 1 if he wasn't a ginger

3. Stompgrind - Forum jiu jitsu idiot savant

4. Jason H - The closest thing to Bruce Lee on the forum

5. 12er - Military background, and he would annoy the **** out of the opponent

Body-builders gas out m8. Plus I'm concerned about the post-fight drug test.  His omission was not accidental.

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classicboxer

classicboxer

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20 minutes ago, PlatinumClegg said:

Nice troll job brother.  The first two listed I straight up would not fight.  Stomp and I would be PPV worthy.  I would kill those other two turds you listed quick, fast and in a mother****ing hurry.

Jason H was a joke response, but 12er is a soldier, he would be the betting favorite over you.

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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5 hours ago, Bubba_Sparks said:

It's a strong team.  Put me on your team; I'll hold your coats or something.

You gotta get us in cardio shape.  Soup for real he's the oldest.  We're banking on his right hand not being ruined by a gun shot from some nappy headed mother****er.

Thinking about it Roids is a little younger than myself and Cash.  Like for real they're gonna be smacking fools and this is the States.  My back is all ****ed up.  I might just have a really big ****ing gun in my hands while the heavyweights take care of business.

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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3 minutes ago, Bubba_Sparks said:

Body-builders gas out m8. Plus I'm concerned about the post-fight drug test.  His omission was not accidental.

Roids would kill those dudes before Cash and I could even wield his weapons.

4 minutes ago, classicboxer said:

Jason H was a joke response, but 12er is a soldier, he would be the betting favorite over you.

I think it would be a good fight.  He's not going down easy to someone the same age and size.  We can make at least 50 grand to box on Jake Paul's next undercard.  I would like to make 75k considering it would be fight of the night.

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classicboxer

classicboxer

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9 minutes ago, PlatinumClegg said:

Roids would kill those dudes before Cash and I could even wield his weapons.

I think it would be a good fight.  He's not going down easy to someone the same age and size.  We can make at least 50 grand to box on Jake Paul's next undercard.  I would like to make 75k considering it would be fight of the night.

12er is more rounded as a fighter, so I think the fight should be MMA rules.

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juice64011

juice64011

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Posted

Jason H- He has a 45" vertical, jumped off a 200 foot bridge for fun, and is a bag man for the Yakuza. 

Bubba Sparks- I don't think he will fight but he would be a good distraction. Chael will call him a ginger and he will deny it. This will lead to a long conversation about whether he is or not. (He is)

Heelclipse- The second half of the Ginger Twin Towers with Bubba. Unlike his alter ego who would cuddle him to death, Heelclipse will tear him down comment by comment and then confuse him by liking his come backs. 

Soup- He is always down for rolling around on the ground with random dudes. 

Carnages41-If he fights in real life like he does in EA UFC then Uncle Chael doesn't stand a chance. First he will make a bunch of rules like no takedowns or clinching, then halfway through the fight he will dive for ankles and claim he only did it to prove he could. If all else fails he will start quoting chitty songs like Starboy. 

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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Posted
30 minutes ago, juice64011 said:

Jason H- He has a 45" vertical, jumped off a 200 foot bridge for fun, and is a bag man for the Yakuza. 

Bubba Sparks- I don't think he will fight but he would be a good distraction. Chael will call him a ginger and he will deny it. This will lead to a long conversation about whether he is or not. (He is)

Heelclipse- The second half of the Ginger Twin Towers with Bubba. Unlike his alter ego who would cuddle him to death, Heelclipse will tear him down comment by comment and then confuse him by liking his come backs. 

Soup- He is always down for rolling around on the ground with random dudes. 

Carnages41-If he fights in real life like he does in EA UFC then Uncle Chael doesn't stand a chance. First he will make a bunch of rules like no takedowns or clinching, then halfway through the fight he will dive for ankles and claim he only did it to prove he could. If all else fails he will start quoting chitty songs like Starboy. 

Good list but I'm heartbroken that I didn't make it.  Like I said if I start losing...

tumblr_lvtjoyyWga1r4gei2o6_400.gifv

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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Posted
2 minutes ago, -idyb- said:

fine then. i'll just need one guy to have my back.  @GeorgesStPierre will hold chael down while i call and wait for the police.

Chael would double leg or even high crotch just spike that bum on his head.  Chael in the hallway is AT LEAST a 2 man job.  Your drunk **** ain't doing **** while Georges gets his **** whooped.  I will bait Chael into his natural feeling of I can't let you get close.  I'm 4 inches shorter and giving up 50+ pounds but before he can do anything @cashfl0w just stomps on his head.  For real you can't take stomps from a 6'5" 215+ pound man.  We wouldn't kill him because we're good people.

Georges couldn't hold Chael down in his dreams.  @Bubba_Sparks Let this drunk bastard know that this is a horrible take.  First he used a one man "Team" where he doesn't even fight.  I got two heavyweights to handle Chael plus I'm gonna be soccer kicking him after he eats a right hand and goes full fetal position.  He ain't ****ing up my crew of 3.

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-idyb-

-idyb-

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45 minutes ago, PlatinumClegg said:

Chael would double leg or even high crotch just spike that bum on his head.  Chael in the hallway is AT LEAST a 2 man job.  Your drunk **** ain't doing **** while Georges gets his **** whooped.  I will bait Chael into his natural feeling of I can't let you get close.  I'm 4 inches shorter and giving up 50+ pounds but before he can do anything @cashfl0w just stomps on his head.  For real you can't take stomps from a 6'5" 215+ pound man.  We wouldn't kill him because we're good people.

Georges couldn't hold Chael down in his dreams.  @Bubba_Sparks Let this drunk bastard know that this is a horrible take.  First he used a one man "Team" where he doesn't even fight.  I got two heavyweights to handle Chael plus I'm gonna be soccer kicking him after he eats a right hand and goes full fetal position.  He ain't ****ing up my crew of 3.

chael sonnen knows that GSP would whoop him. thats why he's already said that GSP is the p4p greatest fighter, on ESPN, and his podcasts

https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/21293081

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cashfl0w

cashfl0w

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Posted
3 hours ago, PlatinumClegg said:

Chael would double leg or even high crotch just spike that bum on his head.  Chael in the hallway is AT LEAST a 2 man job.  Your drunk **** ain't doing **** while Georges gets his **** whooped.  I will bait Chael into his natural feeling of I can't let you get close.  I'm 4 inches shorter and giving up 50+ pounds but before he can do anything @cashfl0w just stomps on his head.  For real you can't take stomps from a 6'5" 215+ pound man.  We wouldn't kill him because we're good people.

Georges couldn't hold Chael down in his dreams.  @Bubba_Sparks Let this drunk bastard know that this is a horrible take.  First he used a one man "Team" where he doesn't even fight.  I got two heavyweights to handle Chael plus I'm gonna be soccer kicking him after he eats a right hand and goes full fetal position.  He ain't ****ing up my crew of 3.

Don't think anybody's ever made it up from the bottom side of my Jordan. You eat one of those, and you're toast.

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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Hey @-idyb- I didn't mean that.  Georges was a great MMA fighter.  That said myself and @cashfl0w would straight demo that metro in a hallway fight.  First of all he's not that much bigger than my little ****.  He's 40 and would have to deal Cash smacking him while I just stomp him when he's down.  There's a few dudes that do this MMA **** that could handle myself and Cash whooping their **** in a hallway fight.  What's he gonna do?  He can't angles in hallway fights and he's old.  He could choose to double leg Cash but then I'm stomping and soccer kicking him in the head.  Cash is so long limbed he probably could put up a damn could fight 1 on 1.  Don't get ****ed up we've been in real fights.  Not this MMA rules bull****.

Look @-idyb- I want to make a trip to Canada and we can mountain bike some hard ****.  We'll get ****ed up, people gonna bleed but no one will die.

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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Posted
8 minutes ago, cashfl0w said:

Don't think anybody's ever made it up from the bottom side of my Jordan. You eat one of those, and you're toast.

See this is what I'm talking about.  We got a collection of Jordan's from different eras that we can **** people up.  If it goes sour I have assault weapons.  The 1996 Jordan's upside your head is probably better than what I'm carrying.  For real.

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-idyb-

-idyb-

Posted
Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, PlatinumClegg said:

Hey @-idyb- I didn't mean that.  Georges was a great MMA fighter.  That said myself and @cashfl0w would straight demo that metro in a hallway fight.  First of all he's not that much bigger than my little ****.  He's 40 and would have to deal Cash smacking him while I just stomp him when he's down.  There's a few dudes that do this MMA **** that could handle myself and Cash whooping their **** in a hallway fight.  What's he gonna do?  He can't angles in hallway fights and he's old.  He could choose to double leg Cash but then I'm stomping and soccer kicking him in the head.  Cash is so long limbed he probably could put up a damn could fight 1 on 1.  Don't get ****ed up we've been in real fights.  Not this MMA rules bull****.

Look @-idyb- I want to make a trip to Canada and we can mountain bike some hard ****.  We'll get ****ed up, people gonna bleed but no one will die.

god damn   on a scale of 1 to drunk how 10 are you m8?   i cant  reallytell if im too drunk to read this properly or if youre too drunk to post.

Edited by -idyb-
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Bubba_Sparks

Bubba_Sparks

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12 minutes ago, -idyb- said:

god damn   on a scale of 1 to drunk how 10 are you m8?   i cant  reallytell if im too drunk to read this properly or if youre too drunk to post.

It's a bit of both. Let me give you an executive summary

1. GSP absolutely sucks

2. Sir Clegg would like to go mountain bike riding with you in Canada. 

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cashfl0w

cashfl0w

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Posted
5 hours ago, PlatinumClegg said:

@classicboxer Hey old man don't derail the thread.  What 8 guys do you need to beat up Chael Sonnen in a hallway.  Undefeated and undisputed.  Never lost a round.

He already told you. The problem is Jason H goes down to an immediate throat punch. 12er sprints on out of there. Stomp starts rambling on about things that are theoretically valuable, and his own teammates ask him to take a hike..

Chael probably still loses when the big guys squash him up against the wall, but he puts up a pretty solid struggle until then.

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Megasoup

Megasoup

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On 12/22/2021 at 4:13 AM, PlatinumClegg said:

What is that?

I'll take @cashfl0w and @Megasoup.  Give me tall heavyweights I don't need a 5 man crew.  People gonna bleed, mother****ers gonna get ****ed up and somebody might die.

Theoretically these are good picks, but I'm notoriously unreliable and there's a more than 50% chance that I don't even make it to this showdown.  It could be sheer laziness or that I simply forget.  

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-idyb-

-idyb-

Posted
Posted
On 12/23/2021 at 5:27 AM, PlatinumClegg said:

I'm about to be 5 at 825 in the morning.  People gonna bleed, mother****ers gonna get ****ed up and somebody might die.

@-idyb- This Woodford is for you man.  Not GSP though he ****ing sucks.

 

just crown royal and fireball for me this week. my liver hates me enough

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PlatinumClegg

PlatinumClegg

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Posted
13 hours ago, Megasoup said:

Theoretically these are good picks, but I'm notoriously unreliable and there's a more than 50% chance that I don't even make it to this showdown.  It could be sheer laziness or that I simply forget.  

I trust you.  Even if you no show we'll throw Freddie in there to attempt to suck Chael's d!ck.  Cash hits him with the overhand. I hit him with left hook.  Cash ties him up and I assist in the trip takedown.  We **** up him up.

Freddie cries, snorts some cocaine and tries to run before I **** him up.  I just run him down.  I probably still have like 4.7 speed and Freddie is a drug addict.  Cash cuts a corner on this idiot and I lay his **** out with a similar tackle to whoever gave Antonio Brown CTE.  AB hasn't been right since he got knocked the **** out.

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classicboxer

classicboxer

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6 minutes ago, PlatinumClegg said:

I trust you.  Even if you no show we'll throw Freddie in there to attempt to suck Chael's d!ck.  Cash hits him with the overhand. I hit him with left hook.  Cash ties him up and I assist in the trip takedown.  We **** up him up.

Freddie cries, snorts some cocaine and tries to run before I **** him up.  I just run him down.  I probably still have like 4.7 speed and Freddie is a drug addict.  Cash cuts a corner on this idiot and I lay his **** out with a similar tackle to whoever gave Antonio Brown CTE.  AB hasn't been right since he got knocked the **** out.

Freddie is part black, and 4.7 is white man's speed!

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