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The Beavers took over


G__row

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  • 1 year later...

Wynona had a big brown beaver, she stroked it all the time.

 

I walked right up and gave it a wink and the bastard tried to bite!

 

Primus is the shiznit! (yes I know there is an entire song between those two verses, it just works better that way!)

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I have heard 2 things from boat owners..

 

The two happiest days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

 

And a boat is like a big hole in the water that you keep throwing money in to fill.

 

Neither sounds very positive, especially when they are showing me pictures of chicks in bikinis sunning themselves with an icy beverage on their boats.

 

I think guys with boats say the negative things so they will be the only one with a boat... greedy bastards.

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I have heard 2 things from boat owners..

 

The two happiest days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

 

And a boat is like a big hole in the water that you keep throwing money in to fill.

 

Neither sounds very positive' date=' especially when they are showing me pictures of chicks in bikinis sunning themselves with an icy beverage on their boats.

 

I think guys with boats say the negative things so they will be the only one with a boat... greedy bastards.[/quote']

These owners must not be avid fishermans. I love my boat. It is old, but it still does the job just fine. Aubree and I have been through tough times, but we have always found a way to come through for each other.

 

If you take care of her, she will take care of you....just like your car.

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These owners must not be avid fishermans. I love my boat. It is old' date=' but it still does the job just fine. Aubree and I have been through tough times, but we have always found a way to come through for each other.

 

If you take care of her, she will take care of you....just like your car.[/quote']

 

Am I wrong for being just a little creaped out that you refer to your boat by name? And no they don't fish, they have power boats for wakeboarding and such, but they are mostly just for middle age guys to look attractive to impressionable young ladies.

 

But hey, respect if you actually use your boat for what it was meant for.

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An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.

The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

 

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.

 

Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

 

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

 

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

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An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.

The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says' date=' "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

 

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.

 

Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

 

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

 

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."[/quote']

^ HA!

 

Brilliant.

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An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.

The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says' date=' "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

 

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.

 

Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

 

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

 

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."[/quote']

 

 

Hey man, why did you copy and modify my joke?

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Call Billy the Exterminator.

 

Billy-the-Exterminator.jpg

 

He can get any unwanted critter from anywhere.

 

Hmmm, I have a list of pests right from these very pages, and the mods seem powerless to remove any of them....

 

Wonder how much the ole Verminator would charge?

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