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crazy_jamaican_lady

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not the craziest but this popped up in my head...

 

so the year is 2000.. its Friday the 13th and its a rainy night... its me, my guy and 2 females, we are driving and puffin on some sticky... we were on the country roads and there was a train track.. and the red lights were going but no rail was down. so i figure hey if the rails aint down i can still make it... then i noticed that there was a train going across it and i slammed on the brakes... slid and spin'd and came about 5 feet from hitting the train. it was a scarey moment, but im glad im alive! and they have put up rails on the railroad now... question? isnt it crazy that some railways dont have rails that comedown??

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I remember when I was in kindergarten the teacher asked me to use "hotel" in a sentence.

 

I said ok

 

I made out with Stephanie from the third grade and that hotel everybody.

 

The teacher didnt like that too much.

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not the craziest but this popped up in my head...

 

so the year is 2000.. its Friday the 13th and its a rainy night... its me' date=' my guy and 2 females, we are driving and puffin on some sticky... we were on the country roads and there was a train track.. and the red lights were going but no rail was down. so i figure hey if the rails aint down i can still make it... then i noticed that there was a train going across it and i slammed on the brakes... slid and spin'd and came about 5 feet from hitting the train. it was a scarey moment, but im glad im alive! and they have put up rails on the railroad now... question? isnt it crazy that some railways dont have rails that comedown??[/quote']

 

Wow that is messed up...that is like my only fear is being hit by a train lol idk why either but i get chills when i drive across them. I'll say a few of mine in a minute.

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whatever you feel like saying

:)

this is the top on my list

Back While i still lived in atlanta Ga me & this other girl who for some reason had a problem with me...well she kept talking stuff but i ignored it because i don't need to fight anyone but one day she decided to come at me with a knife(this is one of those moments were training paid off lol) i was able to get it off of her hand but i was so mad that she tried to stab me i kicked her in the face too which cost her the vision in the right eye...and i had to go to jail for quite some time because of that too & it sucked...no joke! don't let anyone tell you jail is fun haha

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i too have a weird fear of trains.. but i love them at the same time. when i hear the sound of a train i always say choo choo. theres a train by my house but i say it often.. this is a little lame but me and my ex both had trains by our houses and we use to always hear eachothers train when talking on the foneand say choo choo.. i wrote her a poem saying..

 

2 different sides of the track but we ride the same train..

sky is the limit , we fly the same plane..

your love gets me high, so high i fly it,

u aint my flight attendent , your my co-pilot. q; ) thats enuff.. i know im a casanova1!!

 

i also have a weird connection with deers.. i always see them and dream about them... q; / ill have a deer story next.

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i too have a weird fear of trains.. but i love them at the same time. when i hear the sound of a train i always say choo choo. theres a train by my house but i say it often.. this is a little lame but me and my ex both had trains by our houses and we use to always hear eachothers train when talking on the foneand say choo choo.. i wrote her a poem saying..

 

2 different sides of the track but we ride the same train..

sky is the limit ' date=' we fly the same plane..

your love gets me high, so high i fly it,

u aint my flight attendent , your my co-pilot. q; ) thats enuff.. i know im a casanova1!!

 

i also have a weird connection with deers.. i always see them and dream about them... q; / ill have a deer story next.[/quote']

 

'Iwish shakes head in disbelief'

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okay so about a month ago i took this cat home from work , it was like 2am. it was a little foggy but not too bad. so im going down this country road... no deers. he aint have no gas money and i was on Empty. so i gets to his house and he put some gas from his lawnmower container in my ride. why i get lost in his neighborhood and then it got foggy as heck and i couldnt see nothing in front of me... i go to call him but my cell fone had no service and i could only make emergency calls it said. then about ten deer run in front of me and on the side of me.. it was crazy, they was dogging mail boxes and stuff... so im getting a lil nervous here like what imma do... i see the deer chillin again.. so im like f dis.. i got out the ride and look at the two streets i was at and then called 911... i told the lady the situation and she gave me step by step directions to how and get back to the main road. q: /

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One time I was walking down the street with a couple of friends of mine and we saw this group of about five girls sitting on this corner stoop. So one of my friends goes, "This is how you pull *expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted*"

 

So I go, "Aw, *expletive deleted*, you stupid *expletive deleted*. Let see it."

 

So then he goes and shoves an entire Mystic bottle down his pants. Mystic bottles were about ten inches long and tapered like pyramids. Really thick at the base. Then he goes up to them and asks for directions to a store. And holds the bottle through his pants and starts waving it like a foot in front of one of their faces. The girl, nonplussed, answers his question and doesn't even look at it. So, after futilely trying to get a reaction (as well as a phone number), he accepts defeat and the girls start laughing before we make it ten feet.

 

My friend and I busted his balls the entire way home.

 

Ah, memories~

 

The worst part is that that was one of our less ribald adventures.

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One time I was walking down the street with a couple of friends of mine and we saw this group of about five girls sitting on this corner stoop. So one of my friends goes' date=' "This is how you pull *expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted*"

 

So I go, "Aw, *expletive deleted*, you stupid *expletive deleted*. Let see it."

 

So then he goes and shoves an entire Mystic bottle down his pants. Mystic bottles were about ten inches long and tapered like pyramids. Really thick at the base. Then he goes up to them and asks for directions to a store. And holds the bottle through his pants and starts waving it like a foot in front of one of their faces. The girl, nonplussed, answers his question and doesn't even look at it. So, after futilely trying to get a reaction (as well as a phone number), he accepts defeat and the girls start laughing before we make it ten feet.

 

My friend and I busted his balls the entire way home.

 

Ah, memories~

 

The worst part is that that was one of our less ribald adventures.[/quote']

 

Lol did he actaully think that would work?

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Lol did he actaully think that would work?

Nah. He just like to be a clown about it. He could actually be charming when it was just him and the ladies. We used to do dumb things like that all the time.

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Oh lol funny^ i know someone kind of like that...

 

Like a couple monthes ago me & my other half went to a restaraunt on date (i did not know it was by strip club) but anyways these 2 bust downs walk in the place making all kinds of noise but i just ignore them. Like half hour later my babe tells me look over there & i do and they where flashing people so i was like yo this is a FAMILY place nobody wants to see you 2 nasty **** here and they start going on about i don't know who i'm messing with & blah blah blah so i was like i think it is the other way around lets go outside & see, Long story short i laid those 2 tf out...well one bit me haha i was worried about getting a std from it but she did not brake the skin and they were worse off than me.:D

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Yeah, dude, that's one of the worst things about girl-fights. You get some girls that'll bite like Hell. You're lucky she didn't break the skin. There's all kinds of nasty infections you can get from human bites.

 

Though, my girlfriend's cousin, who is one of the drunkest drunks you'll ever meet, told us this one story about how she bit half a girl's finger off. And was talking like she was proud of it! Despite the fact that she was just being a belligerent drunk. Lol. That was also at a BBQ where she almost got beat down by my girlfriend's Mom because she was being a C U Next Tuesday to her own mother.

 

God, I hate family get-togethers.

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Yeah' date=' dude, that's one of the worst things about girl-fights. You get some girls that'll bite like Hell. You're lucky she didn't break the skin. There's all kinds of nasty infections you can get from human bites.

 

Though, my girlfriend's cousin, who is one of the drunkest drunks you'll ever meet, told us this one story about how she bit half a girl's finger off. And was talking like she was proud of it! Despite the fact that she was just being a belligerent drunk. Lol. That was also at a BBQ where she almost got beat down by my girlfriend's Mom because she was being a C U Next Tuesday to her own mother.

 

God, I hate family get-togethers.[/quote']

 

Haha yea i was so worried but i f*cked those nasties up real good i bet they won't talk about people they don't know again i can't stand how most females fight it is so lame. Wow though thats messed up biting a finger off...my other half's aunt is from thailand & she did at a bar before lol. Why do you hate family get togethers lol they are suppose to be good times!

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Haha yea i was so worried but i f*cked those nasties up real good i bet they won't talk about people they don't know again i can't stand how most females fight it is so lame. Wow though thats messed up biting a finger off...my other half's aunt is from thailand & she did at a bar before lol. Why do you hate family get togethers lol they are suppose to be good times!

Lol. My girlfriend's family and my own are full of drunks and druggies. So' date=' yeah, family get togethers can get ugly [i']real[/i] quick if the wrong people show up.

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Lol. My girlfriend's family and my own are full of drunks and druggies. So' date=' yeah, family get togethers can get ugly [i']real[/i] quick if the wrong people show up.

 

Oh lol i know what your saying! you have fight everytime they get together? I don't really get to see most of my family it kind of sucks.

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Oh lol i know what your saying! you have fight everytime they get together? I don't really get to see most of my family it kind of sucks.

Oh' date=' I know the feeling about not being close to your family. We're living hundreds of miles away from most of mine. But, like I said, I'm not too big on family get-togethers and holidays and stuff. I'd just like to be able to see my parents and little brother every once and awhile.

 

But, no, the GF's family doesn't have huge fights all the time. But they can be kind of high-strung and holidays usually end with [i']someone[/i] being pissed about something retarded.

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Oh' date=' I know the feeling about not being close to your family. We're living hundreds of miles away from most of mine. But, like I said, I'm not too big on family get-togethers and holidays and stuff. I'd just like to be able to see my parents and little brother every once and awhile.

 

But, no, the GF's family doesn't have huge fights all the time. But they can be kind of high-strung and holidays usually end with [i']someone[/i] being pissed about something retarded.

 

Oh yea lol one of my friends family is like that..everytime i go over their it feels like i walked onto a Jerry springer show. I really don't get to see my family because i'm sort like black sheep you know? Got kicked out when i was 17...My parents still got my back if i'm in real trouble but we don't get along much.

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Oh yea lol one of my friends family is like that..everytime i go over their it feels like i walked onto a Jerry springer show. I really don't get to see my family because i'm sort like black sheep you know? Got kicked out when i was 17...My parents still got my back if i'm in real trouble but we don't get along much.

Damn. That's the suck.

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Sweet thread jamaican lady, and awesome stories cant wait to hear more.. once a guy came at me with a knife so i kicked him in the eye and blinded him went to jail for a while.... Shut the f up...

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k, this one isnt really crazy but i found it funny. i was working at a bar called cheetahs years ago. an adult bar. well, we would alway take reservations for birthdays and bachelor parties. so one day a lady a calls up and asks if we do anything specail for birthdays. i tell her free shuttle ride and dinner for parties over six. she says great lets make the reservation for about 10-15. something about this ladys sweet voice just doesnt add up for me. so on a whim i ask her how old this person is going to be. "he's turning 10year old" she says. LOL. "umm, you realize this is and adult entertainment bar dont you?" i ask. she is flabbergasted, she must've thought it was chucky cheese or something. imagine if i hadnt asked the age?? friday night we would have had a bunch of lil kids grow up REAL quick.

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k' date=' this one isnt really crazy but i found it funny. i was working at a bar called cheetahs years ago. an adult bar. well, we would alway take reservations for birthdays and bachelor parties. so one day a lady a calls up and asks if we do anything specail for birthdays. i tell her free shuttle ride and dinner for parties over six. she says great lets make the reservation for about 10-15. something about this ladys sweet voice just doesnt add up for me. so on a whim i ask her how old this person is going to be. "he's turning 10year old" she says. LOL. "umm, you realize this is and adult entertainment bar dont you?" i ask. she is flabbergasted, she must've thought it was chucky cheese or something. imagine if i hadnt asked the age?? friday night we would have had a bunch of lil kids grow up REAL quick.[/quote']

 

Jesus dude! Another winner from Shawnb, stand up and take a bow man Kudos

 

**JJW starts the 80's slow clap**

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k' date=' this one isnt really crazy but i found it funny. i was working at a bar called cheetahs years ago. an adult bar. well, we would alway take reservations for birthdays and bachelor parties. so one day a lady a calls up and asks if we do anything specail for birthdays. i tell her free shuttle ride and dinner for parties over six. she says great lets make the reservation for about 10-15. something about this ladys sweet voice just doesnt add up for me. so on a whim i ask her how old this person is going to be. "he's turning 10year old" she says. LOL. "umm, you realize this is and adult entertainment bar dont you?" i ask. she is flabbergasted, she must've thought it was chucky cheese or something. imagine if i hadnt asked the age?? friday night we would have had a bunch of lil kids grow up REAL quick.[/quote']

 

HAHA that is messed up dude funny too!

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