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"It looked like an industrial training video on how to turn a human into soup using just one naked man. If I was Fujita?s family, I would have already been ordering a box of gorilla-sized diapers and flash cards so he could relearn all our names. But this face-suicide was all part of Fujita?s plan."


This part just kills me...lmao.


Nice post man.

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"Japan has a childlike fascination with strange match-ups. If two things are stupidly different, Japan will put them in a cage and see what happens. All their fight cards have at least one match between a giant fat guy and something that looks like it should be making Christmas toys. If a man with no arms and a man with no legs started learning karate, the same light bulb would appear over every head in Japan. That’s right: Glue them together and see if it can kill a panda. Through their own experiments, every Japanese parent knows exactly how many rhinoceros beetles you have to put in a baby’s crib to make it a fair fight. And I guarantee you that when the first cheeseburger comes to life, Japan will throw it in the ring with a sumo wrestler before it ever gets a chance to lead us to our better lives in the sky."


Simply the best part of the whole article, could not stop laughing.


EDIT: That guy can take a hell of a beating man..

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