Jump to content

Married People Cheating.


Megasoup

Recommended Posts

Regardless of the source, the statistic varies little, a little over 50% of married people have cheated on their spouse. So, let's look at it a little. I'll play the devils advocate for both sides.

 

Unforgivable Betrayal

Unless someone has a pretty rare set of circumstances, their spouse can not help but keep track of them. For example, a guy leaves for work at 8:15 and comes home by 5:30 sometimes 6:00 if traffic is bad. Generally speaking, a married man with kids doesn't go out to the bars or clubs or really any place alone, except for maybe a gym or bowling night or something physical. There's usually some tell-tale sign that they went there that can't be faked (I go to the gym and come back bathed in sweat with maybe some abrasions for grappling or a scuff from boxing.) So, if a guy is cheating, his wife knows. How can someone put another through such pain? How could they be so cruel? What are their children going to think of them?

 

It's Human Nature

Just because you said "I do," that doesn't mean that one ceases to be heterosexual. Let's say you really like Rocky Road ice cream, and it may not even be your favorite but was the only one you could get your hands on at the moment or maybe even you felt obligated to choose Rocky Road because you accidentally, unknowingly conspired to package smaller quantities of the product within the next 9 months, so you want to stand by your product so you commit to eating it for life (I hope you appreciated the "long sentence" symbolism.) Along comes Mint Chocolate Chip. You love that sh*t, always did. Let's face it, Rocky Road was great, and you promised you'd never try another, but lately it'sgetting a little boring, the recipe isn't exactly the same as it was when it was originaly prepared, the packaging is a lot bulkier and unapealing these days, too. There's no doubt that this is not the same dairy treat, you wouldn't have agreed to this.

 

You could divorce your current spouse (I'm done with the ice cream analogy,) but there are kids involved. It's easy for a young, never been married peron, I used to be one, to say that "If you want to have sex with other women, you should just leave" but in the real world, if you leave your wife, you leave your kids. Some people can't do this. Now, if you can hatch a foolproof plan to "work late" or maybe take off without your wife knowing, you can nail this younger, hotter chick who's inexplicably interested in you. Then no one will be hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, I could write something more involved. But, I leave it to you, the forum members, to draw your own conclusions and to expound upon this timeless topic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 170
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Regardless of the source' date=' the statistic varies little, a little over 50% of married people have cheated on their spouse. So, let's look at it a little. I'll play the devils advocate for both sides.

 

[b']Unforgivable Betrayal[/b]

Unless someone has a pretty rare set of circumstances, their spouse can not help but keep track of them. For example, a guy leaves for work at 8:15 and comes home by 5:30 sometimes 6:00 if traffic is bad. Generally speaking, a married man with kids doesn't go out to the bars or clubs or really any place alone, except for maybe a gym or bowling night or something physical. There's usually some tell-tale sign that they went there that can't be faked (I go to the gym and come back bathed in sweat with maybe some abrasions for grappling or a scuff from boxing.) So, if a guy is cheating, his wife knows. How can someone put another through such pain? How could they be so cruel? What are their children going to think of them?

 

It's Human Nature

Just because you said "I do," that doesn't mean that one ceases to be heterosexual. Let's say you really like Rocky Road ice cream, and it may not even be your favorite but was the only one you could get your hands on at the moment or maybe even you felt obligated to choose Rocky Road because you accidentally, unknowingly conspired to package smaller quantities of the product within the next 9 months, so you want to stand by your product so you commit to eating it for life (I hope you appreciated the "long sentence" symbolism.) Along comes Mint Chocolate Chip. You love that sh*t, always did. Let's face it, Rocky Road was great, and you promised you'd never try another, but lately it'sgetting a little boring, the recipe isn't exactly the same as it was when it was originaly prepared, the packaging is a lot bulkier and unapealing these days, too. There's no doubt that this is not the same dairy treat, you wouldn't have agreed to this.

 

You could divorce your current spouse (I'm done with the ice cream analogy,) but there are kids involved. It's easy for a young, never been married peron, I used to be one, to say that "If you want to have sex with other women, you should just leave" but in the real world, if you leave your wife, you leave your kids. Some people can't do this. Now, if you can hatch a foolproof plan to "work late" or maybe take off without your wife knowing, you can nail this younger, hotter chick who's inexplicably interested in you. Then no one will be hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, I could write something more involved. But, I leave it to you, the forum members, to draw your own conclusions and to expound upon this timeless topic.

 

Great Stuff but the rush is undeniably great, LOL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would sit my partner down out of courtesy, and make it crystal clear that when you got married, you did so based on the person you adored at the time. Then wait and see if your partner does anything about the issues you put forth.

 

If they change so significantly that they cease to be recognizable to you anymore, then that is grounds to change YOUR feelings too. Think about it, I believe that we have an obligation to take care of ourselves...mainly for ourselves than for others sake - but at the end of the day that IS attractive to others! Letting yourself go is a symbol of how you feel about yourself, and insecurity is very ugly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would sit my partner down out of courtesy' date=' and make it crystal clear that when [b']you[/b] got married, you did so based on the person you adored at the time. Then wait and see if your partner does anything about the issues you put forth.

 

If they change so significantly that they cease to be recognizable to you anymore, then that is grounds to change YOUR feelings too. Think about it, I believe that we have an obligation to take care of ourselves...mainly for ourselves than for others sake - but at the end of the day that IS attractive to others! Letting yourself go is a symbol of how you feel about yourself, and insecurity is very ugly.

 

I didn't do anything! I'm just making conversation!

 

What happened to terms like "oneself," "someone," or a "person?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Regardless of the source' date=' the statistic varies little, a little over 50% of married people have cheated on their spouse. So, let's look at it a little. I'll play the devils advocate for both sides.

 

[b']Unforgivable Betrayal[/b]

Unless someone has a pretty rare set of circumstances, their spouse can not help but keep track of them. For example, a guy leaves for work at 8:15 and comes home by 5:30 sometimes 6:00 if traffic is bad. Generally speaking, a married man with kids doesn't go out to the bars or clubs or really any place alone, except for maybe a gym or bowling night or something physical. There's usually some tell-tale sign that they went there that can't be faked (I go to the gym and come back bathed in sweat with maybe some abrasions for grappling or a scuff from boxing.) So, if a guy is cheating, his wife knows. How can someone put another through such pain? How could they be so cruel? What are their children going to think of them?

 

It's Human Nature

Just because you said "I do," that doesn't mean that one ceases to be heterosexual. Let's say you really like Rocky Road ice cream, and it may not even be your favorite but was the only one you could get your hands on at the moment or maybe even you felt obligated to choose Rocky Road because you accidentally, unknowingly conspired to package smaller quantities of the product within the next 9 months, so you want to stand by your product so you commit to eating it for life (I hope you appreciated the "long sentence" symbolism.) Along comes Mint Chocolate Chip. You love that sh*t, always did. Let's face it, Rocky Road was great, and you promised you'd never try another, but lately it'sgetting a little boring, the recipe isn't exactly the same as it was when it was originaly prepared, the packaging is a lot bulkier and unapealing these days, too. There's no doubt that this is not the same dairy treat, you wouldn't have agreed to this.

 

You could divorce your current spouse (I'm done with the ice cream analogy,) but there are kids involved. It's easy for a young, never been married peron, I used to be one, to say that "If you want to have sex with other women, you should just leave" but in the real world, if you leave your wife, you leave your kids. Some people can't do this. Now, if you can hatch a foolproof plan to "work late" or maybe take off without your wife knowing, you can nail this younger, hotter chick who's inexplicably interested in you. Then no one will be hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, I could write something more involved. But, I leave it to you, the forum members, to draw your own conclusions and to expound upon this timeless topic.

 

I would sit my partner down out of courtesy' date=' and make it crystal clear that when you got married, you did so based on the person you adored at the time. Then wait and see if your partner does anything about the issues you put forth.

 

If they change so significantly that they cease to be recognizable to you anymore, then that is grounds to change YOUR feelings too. Think about it, I believe that we have an obligation to take care of ourselves...mainly for ourselves than for others sake - but at the end of the day that IS attractive to others! Letting yourself go is a symbol of how you feel about yourself, and insecurity is very ugly.[/quote']

 

Two Thumbs up!!The very most interesting posts of the day!(standing up clapping).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Regardless of the source' date=' the statistic varies little, a little over 50% of married people have cheated on their spouse. So, let's look at it a little. I'll play the devils advocate for both sides.

 

[b']Unforgivable Betrayal[/b]

Unless someone has a pretty rare set of circumstances, their spouse can not help but keep track of them. For example, a guy leaves for work at 8:15 and comes home by 5:30 sometimes 6:00 if traffic is bad. Generally speaking, a married man with kids doesn't go out to the bars or clubs or really any place alone, except for maybe a gym or bowling night or something physical. There's usually some tell-tale sign that they went there that can't be faked (I go to the gym and come back bathed in sweat with maybe some abrasions for grappling or a scuff from boxing.) So, if a guy is cheating, his wife knows. How can someone put another through such pain? How could they be so cruel? What are their children going to think of them?

 

It's Human Nature

Just because you said "I do," that doesn't mean that one ceases to be heterosexual. Let's say you really like Rocky Road ice cream, and it may not even be your favorite but was the only one you could get your hands on at the moment or maybe even you felt obligated to choose Rocky Road because you accidentally, unknowingly conspired to package smaller quantities of the product within the next 9 months, so you want to stand by your product so you commit to eating it for life (I hope you appreciated the "long sentence" symbolism.) Along comes Mint Chocolate Chip. You love that sh*t, always did. Let's face it, Rocky Road was great, and you promised you'd never try another, but lately it'sgetting a little boring, the recipe isn't exactly the same as it was when it was originaly prepared, the packaging is a lot bulkier and unapealing these days, too. There's no doubt that this is not the same dairy treat, you wouldn't have agreed to this.

 

You could divorce your current spouse (I'm done with the ice cream analogy,) but there are kids involved. It's easy for a young, never been married peron, I used to be one, to say that "If you want to have sex with other women, you should just leave" but in the real world, if you leave your wife, you leave your kids. Some people can't do this. Now, if you can hatch a foolproof plan to "work late" or maybe take off without your wife knowing, you can nail this younger, hotter chick who's inexplicably interested in you. Then no one will be hurt.

 

Of course, I could write something more involved. But, I leave it to you, the forum members, to draw your own conclusions and to expound upon this timeless topic.

 

There is no acceptable excuse for cheating on your spouse IMO. Are we animals that can't control our hormones and mount anything in heat? No.

 

The cheating and divorce rate in today's society is symptom of the consumer "want now" mentality. People either get married to quickly, to young, or are unwilling to put in the effort needed for a good marriage. Marriage is not easy. Easy is cheating on your spouse or divorce. There is no act more selfish that I can think of than cheating.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

regardless of the source' date=' the statistic varies little, a little over 50% of married people have cheated on their spouse. So, let's look at it a little. I'll play the devils advocate for both sides.

 

[b']unforgivable betrayal[/b]

unless someone has a pretty rare set of circumstances, their spouse can not help but keep track of them. For example, a guy leaves for work at 8:15 and comes home by 5:30 sometimes 6:00 if traffic is bad. Generally speaking, a married man with kids doesn't go out to the bars or clubs or really any place alone, except for maybe a gym or bowling night or something physical. There's usually some tell-tale sign that they went there that can't be faked (i go to the gym and come back bathed in sweat with maybe some abrasions for grappling or a scuff from boxing.) so, if a guy is cheating, his wife knows. How can someone put another through such pain? How could they be so cruel? What are their children going to think of them?

 

it's human nature

just because you said "i do," that doesn't mean that one ceases to be heterosexual. Let's say you really like rocky road ice cream, and it may not even be your favorite but was the only one you could get your hands on at the moment or maybe even you felt obligated to choose rocky road because you accidentally, unknowingly conspired to package smaller quantities of the product within the next 9 months, so you want to stand by your product so you commit to eating it for life (i hope you appreciated the "long sentence" symbolism.) along comes mint chocolate chip. You love that sh*t, always did. Let's face it, rocky road was great, and you promised you'd never try another, but lately it'sgetting a little boring, the recipe isn't exactly the same as it was when it was originaly prepared, the packaging is a lot bulkier and unapealing these days, too. There's no doubt that this is not the same dairy treat, you wouldn't have agreed to this.

 

You could divorce your current spouse (i'm done with the ice cream analogy,) but there are kids involved. It's easy for a young, never been married peron, i used to be one, to say that "if you want to have sex with other women, you should just leave" but in the real world, if you leave your wife, you leave your kids. Some people can't do this. Now, if you can hatch a foolproof plan to "work late" or maybe take off without your wife knowing, you can nail this younger, hotter chick who's inexplicably interested in you. Then no one will be hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, i could write something more involved. But, i leave it to you, the forum members, to draw your own conclusions and to expound upon this timeless topic.

 

+1,000,000

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would sit my partner down out of courtesy' date=' and make it crystal clear that when you got married, you did so based on the person you adored at the time. Then wait and see if your partner does anything about the issues you put forth.

 

If they change so significantly that they cease to be recognizable to you anymore, then that is grounds to change YOUR feelings too. Think about it, I believe that we have an obligation to take care of ourselves...mainly for ourselves than for others sake - but at the end of the day that IS attractive to others! Letting yourself go is a symbol of how you feel about yourself, and insecurity is very ugly.[/quote']

 

I hate to pick on this thread again, but I hear people advising this approach all the time for a number of things. Drinking, drugs, unemployment or abuse, it's a common enough approach. I think the success rate is very, very low, though. So, in all likelihood, your partner will not respond to this at all. What are you going to do then?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is no acceptable excuse for cheating on your spouse IMO. Are we animals that can't control our hormones and mount anything in heat? No.

 

The cheating and divorce rate in today's society is symptom of the consumer "want now" mentality. People either get married to quickly' date=' to young, or are unwilling to put in the effort needed for a good marriage. Marriage is not easy. Easy is cheating on your spouse or divorce. There is no act more selfish that I can think of than cheating.[/quote']

 

Cosign.

 

If you are not happy - get out. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not a grey kind of guy on these things. I am very black and white. It is betrayal, period. I have always been the type of person, marriage or not, that if you want to be with someone else, knock yourself out. Just tell me the truth and GTFO. I don't have any sympathy for cheaters. If I am cheated on the guy, whether he knows she was single or not, is getting his head caved in and the relationship is over. no matter what. I don't care if I had 5 kids with someone and they were the best thing that ever happened to me. Cheat on me and you're not coming back, no matter how long you apologize and even if you pass a lie detector test stating that you are indeed sorry and would never do it again. I would never lower myself to staying with someone that could do that.

 

I don't see myself as the type that would do that. I don't think anybody does though but that's something that is discussed before things ever get serious with me. I have no patience for that crap.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate to pick on this thread again' date=' but I hear people advising this approach all the time for a number of things. Drinking, drugs, unemployment or abuse, it's a common enough approach. I think the success rate is very, very low, though. So, in all likelihood, you partner will not respond to this at all. What are you going to do then?[/quote']

 

Then I am going to end it. I said this only to point out that you should at least give your partner the opportunity to understand where you are coming from.

 

If there is a way for them to change their behaviour and they are willing, then the marriage deserves that chance. If not, and you find yourself significantly attracted to another, then you need to break up. Then cheating does not even come into play. Know yourself enough to know whether you are living in a situation in which you find happiness and peace. Chances are, if you are miserable, the other person is too, and you will be doing both of you a favour.

 

Regarding the children, they are better off with 2 happy parents than 2 miserable ones any day.

 

Please keep in mind that this is what I would do. I am not doling out adivce for the masses. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not relationships HAVE to continue. If you are cheating you aren't really in a relationship anyways, you are just playing house and selfish. Leave them. If they aren't a good enough person to try to fix the problems instead of making a whole new giant problem then they aren't worth keeping anyways.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not a grey kind of guy on these things. I am very black and white. It is betrayal' date=' period. I have always been the type of person, marriage or not, that if you want to be with someone else, knock yourself out. Just tell me the truth and GTFO. I don't have any sympathy for cheaters. If I am cheated on the guy, whether he knows she was single or not, is getting his head caved in and the relationship is over. no matter what. I don't care if I had 5 kids with someone and they were the best thing that ever happened to me. Cheat on me and you're not coming back, no matter how long you apologize and even if you pass a lie detector test stating that you are indeed sorry and would never do it again. I would never lower myself to staying with someone that could do that.

 

I don't see myself as the type that would do that. I don't think anybody does though but that's something that is discussed before things ever get serious with me. I have no patience for that crap.[/quote']

 

I'm assuming you're younger than 30 and single. I've arrived at this because of the passion in your response, so don't be offended.

 

You have to remember, there are kids involved. Not just any kids, but your children. It shouldn't be uncommon for someone to love their children as much or possibly more than their spouse. You've seen then grow from a helpless infant to a happy, giggly toddler to a child learning to ride their bike to even older, depending on when this comes up. It hurt your soul when they cried over a skinned knee. You've never feared anything before until your infant's fever got above 104 and they were hysterical. You didn't know what love was until your 4 year old daughter told you.

 

Remember this when it comes time to talk about your theories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm assuming you're younger than 30 and single. I've arrived at this because of the passion in your response' date=' so don't be offended.

 

You have to remember, there are kids involved. Not just any kids, but your children. It shouldn't be uncommon for someone to love their children as much or possibly more than their spouse. You've seen then grow from a helpless infant to a happy, giggly toddler to a child learning to ride their bike to even older, depending on when this comes up. It hurt your soul when they cried over a skinned knee. You've never feared anything before until your infant's fever got above 104 and they were hysterical. You didn't know what love was until your 4 year old daughter told you.

 

Remember this when it comes time to talk about your theories.[/quote']

 

No. I would never stay with a woman that cheated on me even if I had kids because it sets the wrong precedent for them even and when they are old enough I would explain to them why I left. 2 together but not really together isn't better parenting then being apart, imo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No. I would never stay with a woman that cheated on me even if I had kids because it sets the wrong precedent for them even and when they are old enough I would explain to them why I left. 2 together but not really together isn't better parenting then being apart' date=' imo.[/quote']

 

Cosign.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

some people can forgive people who cheat ( i'm not one of them ) but no-one can forget, if they come home late, or you can't get in touch with them, their cheating is going to be the first thing that gets into your head.

 

in my experience cheaters are nasty people to be around when they have been caught, i was married for 6 years when i got a phone call from her workmates wife, once she realised she'd been caught she tried every trick in the book to try to save face and make it out that it was my fault, she told everyone i owed her money, i sat her parents down and went through bank statements with them, she told them i owed her ?2000, after an hour they done their sums and realised she owed me ?5000, she said i threatened her family, i found that out from her dad, she also hinted to people that i hit her, i found that out from my friends who had bumped into her when out, in the end her own friends laughed at her for that one, this is why i think cheaters are dangerous, if people had believed her it could have ruined me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We all seem to dislike cheaters, no surprise here. Is there anyone who's on board with trying to work things out with their spouse after they've been cheated on?

 

Even more interesting...what would you say if you were caught cheating! Assuming you want to stay together for the sake of the children, or even worse, you dirty dog, you want to stay for financial reasons! Let's play; how would you approach this?

 

*By the way, I'm really shocked at how casual everyone is with the idea of simply splitting up with the spouse, regardless of children. How callous of you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I was caught cheating I would expect her to leave me. I would actually lose respect for her if she didn't leave me. For me to do that I'd already have to be in a situation with no respect for her though. It's hard to say. If I was dissatisfied and met someone that I thought was a keeper I would leave first so to not tarnish the new relationship. It's just such an odd scenario.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We all seem to dislike cheaters' date=' no surprise here. Is there anyone who's on board with trying to work things out with their spouse after they've been cheated on?

 

Even more interesting...what would you say if [i']you[/i] were caught cheating! Assuming you want to stay together for the sake of the children, or even worse, you dirty dog, you want to stay for financial reasons! Let's play; how would you approach this?

 

*By the way, I'm really shocked at how casual everyone is with the idea of simply splitting up with the spouse, regardless of children. How callous of you!

 

I wouldn't get caught, because I would get out...FIRST.

 

I wouldn't stay for financial reasons. I am a big girl and self sufficient.

 

I COULD see working with my former partner to make sure if there were children involved, that their world is as minimally affected by any possible break up. Children shouldn't have to pay the price for adult mistakes. I would do whatever I would have to to see that happen. Maintain the status quo as much as possible; family outings, birthdays still spent together...that kind of thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You guys do know that when you move out of your childrens home' date=' another man or woman comes in? They become a dominant factor in their lives, they're around your kids a whole lot more than you now are, and you don't get to prescreen them.[/quote']

 

So, then you married a complete airhead? Your former partner has no judgement skills? Your former partner would subject THEIR children to harm? Not likely.

 

Besides - if someone felt THIS passionaltely about the issue, then perhaps the person is better off investing in some superb adult films than cheating on their partner to begin with!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So' date=' then you married a complete airhead? Your former partner has no judgement skills? Your former partner would subject THEIR children to harm? Not likely.

 

Besides - if someone felt THIS passionaltely about the issue, then perhaps the person is better off investing in some superb adult films than cheating on their partner to begin with!!![/quote']

 

Remember, over 50% of people cheat, there are two people in a marriage, so that means almost every marriage has met with some adultery (50% + 50% equals 100%, but we know it's not that easy.) Let's not get hasty or unrealistic, lest we find ourselves completely unprepared if we find ourselves in what appears to be a more than likely situation.

 

Yes, people marry airheads. Unfortunately, men and women value many things more than brains and judgement. Beauty, attitude, financial security and shared interests or compatibility all top the list.

 

Do not avoid the tough arguments presented here. I quote you often because you're relevant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Remember' date=' over 50% of people cheat, there are two people in a marriage, so that means almost every marriage has met with some adultery (50% + 50% equals 100%, but we know it's not that easy.) Let's not get hasty or unrealistic, lest we find ourselves completely unprepared if we find ourselves in what appears to be a more than likely situation.

 

Yes, people marry airheads. Unfortunately, men [i']and[/i] women value many things more than brains and judgement. Beauty, attitude, financial security and shared interests or compatibility all top the list.

 

Do not avoid the tough arguments presented here. I quote you often because you're relevant.

 

I do not think I have ever avoided a tough arguement in my life. For real. I, in fact, welcome them.

 

What I am saying here is that the arguement of cheating on a spouse being even remotely OK because it is commonplace, or cause you have children, or cause you share finances, or cause she doesn't swallow - or lord knows what else...isn't good enough PERIOD.

 

Cheating is wrong. For each and every arguement you can come up with to stay and cheat - I can come up with an equally relevant and valid arguement to get out with your dignity intact. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have never cheated on my wife and I do not intend to. The closest thing to cheating I have done is flirting with BEG on this forum which I know can only amount to very little. No offense, BEG, but I know I will more than likely never meet anyone on here. The only person I might run into is Erik. He is a member here and he lives in my town.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have never cheated on my wife and I do not intend to. The closest thing to cheating I have done is flirting with BEG on this forum which I know can only amount to very little. No offense' date=' BEG, but I know I will more than likely never meet anyone on here. The only person I might run into is Erik. He is a member here and he lives in my town.[/quote']

 

Flirting on an internet forum with a person you know you will never meet is an ego boost for the parties at best. It is laughter and entertainment. It is not cheating. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think people on this forum are waay too judgemental. I am not a cheater but I am not so blind as to my own human weakness to think that i could never be put in a position where i would cheat. everyone thinks that they are perfect until they are in an imperfect situation.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do not think I have ever avoided a tough arguement in my life. For real. I' date=' in fact, welcome them.

 

What I am saying here is that the arguement of cheating on a spouse being even remotely OK because it is commonplace, or cause you have children, or cause you share finances, or cause she doesn't swallow - or lord knows what else...isn't good enough PERIOD.

 

Cheating is wrong. For each and every arguement you can come up with to stay and cheat - I can come up with an equally relevant and valid arguement to get out with your dignity intact. ;)[/quote']

 

I may have worded that incorrectly. What I mean is you are not playing the devil's advocate, you are not putting yourself in a hypothetical situation where you are cheating on your spouse or are being cheated on.

 

Not everyone can be financially independant, not everyone has a world of options. I'd like you to pretend as if you've misbehaved or conversely been mistreated. I want you to imagine that you are in a desperate situation, not in a situation that you believe you would find yourself in but rather one that you could imagine yourself in. I want you to start from that hopeless abyss and armed with only your strength and integrity, carve out a path that you think you would take.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Flirting on an internet forum with a person you know you will never meet is an ego boost for the parties at best. It is laughter and entertainment. It is not cheating. ;)

Cheating and many other issues that have gray areas are subject to interpretation. I believe by flirting with you is somewhat cheating. Many may see it as harmless, but I see it as the beginning of a potential affair. This is the reason why so many married couples end up cheating on each other. They always assume it is harmless. This site is not a good example, but if I was to flirt with other women in my town the way I did with you, it may lead to something I may regret.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No one here thinks that if their spouse cheats on them' date=' they should just work it out?[/quote']

 

Of any marital problem, cheating would probably be the hardest to over come. Beyond the obvious trust issues, your spouse cheating would be so indicative that there are deep deep problems with your marriage. If your marriage has deteriorated so far that someone cheats, I don't know there is any coming back from it.

 

I love my wife dearly, but it is the one thing I don't think I could get beyond myself. Which is why if you value your marriage you don't take your spouse for granted and daily do the little things that make a marriage tick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So what do you personally consider flirting sir' date=' also request an answer from any of the female posters here.[/quote']

 

I'm not a female poster, but I think flirting is any exchange with an attractive female that isn't tortorous or unpleasant, really. If you're alive, you want them. It takes discipline to not engage if it's likely that you could have them. This is why it's dangerous. But wrong? I don't know about that. It's not like us married people are dead.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So what do you personally consider flirting sir' date=' also request an answer from any of the female posters here.[/quote']

 

 

My definition of cheating is any active display of flirting which can lead to an affair. By simply flirting, you have disrespected your partner. Cheating and disrespect kind of goes hand in hand. So when you find yourself actively flirting, you are cheating already. I flirt but not on an active scale.

 

If a woman makes advances at me, I'll compliment her and return the favor...sort of out of courtesy. However, if I choose to continue this charade, then I am cheating. See what I mean?

 

Just remember, you can't have an affair without the first act of flirtation.....and sometimes people can flirt with their eyes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I may have worded that incorrectly. What I mean is you are not playing the devil's advocate' date=' you are not putting yourself in a hypothetical situation where you are cheating on your spouse or are being cheated on.

 

Not everyone can be financially independant, not everyone has a world of options. I'd like you to pretend as if you've misbehaved or conversely been mistreated. I want you to imagine that you are in a desperate situation, not in a situation that you believe you would find yourself in but rather one that you could imagine yourself in. I want you to start from that hopeless abyss and armed with only your strength and integrity, carve out a path that you think you would take.[/quote']

 

You are assuming here. I do indeed have knowledge of what I am speaking about. I have been cheated on, and I have also been faced with temptation, or the possibility of such and terminated relationships because of it, so that I am free to go about my business as I so choose without guilt.

 

When I was cheated on, eventually I broke the relationship off. This is why I know that situation does not work. Once a breach is committed, you cannot reverse the damage. It replayed again and again in my head, so I called it quits.

 

So again, I will reiterate. Cheating is wrong.

 

Not everyone is financially independant, and to those people I say that if you have put yourself in a position to be reliant on another to pay your way, fine - but I don't suggest that you bite the hand that feeds you. It is all choices. All of it. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not a female poster' date=' but I think flirting is any exchange with an attractive female that isn't tortorous or unpleasant, really. If you're alive, you want them. It takes discipline to not engage if it's likely that you could have them. This is why it's dangerous. But wrong? I don't know about that. It's not like us married people are dead.[/quote']

 

Your input is appreciated, however are you saying that you cannot flirt with an unattractive or less attractive female or doesn't it count?

 

My definition of cheating is any active display of flirting which can lead to an affair. By simply flirting' date=' you have disrespected your partner. Cheating and disrespect kind of goes hand in hand. So when you find yourself actively flirting, you are cheating already. I flirt but not on an active scale.

 

If a woman makes advances at me, I'll compliment her and return the favor...sort of out of courtesy. However, if I choose to continue this charade, then I am cheating. See what I mean?

 

Just remember, you can't have an affair without the first act of flirtation.....and sometimes people can flirt with their eyes.[/quote']

 

 

This is where I disagree, I don't subscribe to the belief that because you and a woman spend time together or compliment each other that's flirting. Also your flirting with the eyes comment, I personally see no problem with looking or smiling at someone, that's just the type of person I am. I do agree with you that an affair cannot occur without the first act of flirtation. I think its just up to two adults to know where to draw the line.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cheating and many other issues that have gray areas are subject to interpretation. I believe by flirting with you is somewhat cheating. Many may see it as harmless' date=' but I see it as the beginning of a potential affair. This is the reason why so many married couples end up cheating on each other. They always assume it is harmless. This site is not a good example, but if I was to flirt with other women in my town the way I did with you, it may lead to something I may regret.[/quote']

 

But that is the thing KFM - you probably wouldn't even go there in that situation. You do it with me because you inherently know I am safe. So truly, your intentions are not to commit any sort of breach. Thus, you are not cheating. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So what do you personally consider flirting sir' date=' also request an answer from any of the female posters here.[/quote']

 

To me, flirting is probably anything that should your significant other see it, you might be in for a talking to. haha ;)

 

That being said, I think most people flirt. It is not unusual for both men and women to enjoy being noticed by the opposite sex...in fact nature sees to it that we have that need and desire. It is how relationships start and the species is perpetuated.

 

I think it is quite harmless really, so long as the parties understand that it is what it is and keep it all in perspective. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brown eyed girl, I think you're a rare thing ya' know...you're so smart and...just so pretty. I've been thinkin about how sometimes we talk and it's like you really get me. I was wondering if you wanted to stop by the store to...you know...to talk. I just want to know more about you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...