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random drunken stories


shakey79

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i'm sure a lot of people have some random and/or funny stories where the main factor has been alcohol.

 

my main thing is falling asleep, i quite often wake up in hedges in the early hours of the morning, one time i woke up in my friends dad's leek patch, apparently the 5 extra steps i would need to get in the house was just not worth the effort, one time i was out in newcastle for a night out, i woke up outside again and instantly realised i was at a place called the metro center (a shopping mall) this is about 5 miles from where i'd been out and i must have decided that i really wanted to sleep in their car park, the thing that got me was that i live about 15 mile from newcastle, but in the opposite direction

 

another act of stupidity was when i was in the army, i stole a bike rack from outside the regimental head quarters, i took it back to the accommodation block i lived in but decided that as i so easily stole it the best thing was to take it to my room, the problem with this was that i lived on the top floor, i got near the top but then it got stuck and i couldn't free it, the next morning i got woken up by a very angry regimental sgt major, i denied all knowledge at first until i was reminded that i was the only person who lived on that floor, damn, it was also made even worse by the fact that the commanding officer's bike was still attached and kind of broken!!

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Not really a story, more of a quick confession. Had a big night out recently at a gig, and decided afterwards to find an old friend who is now working as a doorman. Long story short, the last place I went was a strip joint, and in my drunken state, I fell asleep during a lapdance! Cost me a tenner! Could have got a nasty B&B room for that, which would have been much more comfortable.

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Not really a story' date=' more of a quick confession. Had a big night out recently at a gig, and decided afterwards to find an old friend who is now working as a doorman. Long story short, the last place I went was a strip joint, and in my drunken state, I fell asleep during a lapdance! Cost me a tenner! Could have got a nasty B&B room for that, which would have been much more comfortable.[/quote']

 

please tell me where this place is!

 

a lapdance for a tenner! awesome!

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Not really a story' date=' more of a quick confession. Had a big night out recently at a gig, and decided afterwards to find an old friend who is now working as a doorman. Long story short, the last place I went was a strip joint, and in my drunken state, I fell asleep during a lapdance! Cost me a tenner! Could have got a nasty B&B room for that, which would have been much more comfortable.[/quote']

 

my mate had a bit of a lapdancer problem, when trying to secure a big contract he was told to take the potential clients out drinks, food etc and get reciept for every thing and he'd get the money back the next day, they skipped the meal and went to the lapdancers instead, he asked the place for a reciept but written as if it was for food, they done that for him and he put it straight in his wallet, the next day after he'd give them to his boss he seen the 'food' reciept, he may have got away with it if they hadn't used headed paper with the name of the club and a couple of topless women on it, very nearly cost him his job

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so im drunk and running down the sidewalk at 3 in the morning and im just giving it, pumping my arms running full speed and i pump my arm and punch my fist straight into a lamp pole and wipe out rolling across the road getting horrible road rash down my arms and face in the process and blowing out two knuckles when i punched the lamp pole.

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Love this' date=' but then what's not to like. The look on Sambergs face as he turns to camera whilst saying "rubbing my butt", Justin "Janitor" Timberlake, and the "Opened a window" reaction![/quote']

 

Lol it is pretty funny.

 

My favorite line

 

"To be fair you were flirting alot, plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot!"

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i killed aloot of vodka and played lord knows how many games of pong, passed out. Later i woke up took three steps outside threw up all over this guys patio, broke his chimenae(clay pot with a chimney), then asked for some water and some ******* brought me a cup of piss(which i do not remeber but heard from several diffrent people the following day).

 

Pretty awful story on my part

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