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Never let a woman drive a car with a sandwich nearby


TigerChamp

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Never let a woman drive a car with a sandwich nearby, and always carry a shovel. appreciate your local good samaritan as **** happens

 

this is the moral of the story i learned today

 

decided to go for a booze cruise with the girl today. Went far out of town, got our party on. hell we even had a little rendezvous at this provincial park. It was really nice.

 

We get maybe 30 clicks down this little backroad and she decided that before we proceed around this mountainside, she would pull over and park in this sandy developmental lot and finish off her the last of her pizza sub that I so kindly purchased for her before we leave the city. i had one too, man it was good!

 

but anyways that sandwich turned out to be a god damn five hour long headache. She starts the car and it wont budge. We step out only to see her back right tire basically stuck and wedged into this wet sandy dirt. it was damn near buried!

 

Tried to dig and plow ourselves out with nearby scraps of wood. Nope. ended up just digging its right rear tire right into a hole of dirt and sand. it was really in there balls deep!

 

well BCAA our auto company wouldnt send emergency assistance, though we are insured, but we were off a commercialized road by merely 100 feet or so! **** suckers wanted 130 bucks an hour to get us out with one of their tow trucks, and we are a couple hours out of town so a taxi is out of the question for a bunch of broke and hurting stoners

 

cant afford that. continued relentlessly to dig, gave up. good samaritan comes by in car, gets out and looks at our situation. there was nothing he could do as we have no chains and his car wasnt meant for pulling truck. .says sorry. goes on his way. keep on digging, have a few drinks. we wanted a picnic. not a god damn campout

 

anyways after what seemed like an eternity of repetitive drinking, cursing and digging, its getting dark. all hope was pretty much lost. Time to camp out loser style! Great. this will make an awesome story to tell our bosses tomorrow as we call in sick.

 

just as we were smoking a joint and about to bundle up and lay down, civilization appears off in the distance. holy crap, people actually travel this backroad when its this late and dark???

 

Well what do you know. A truck pulls up to the damn spot we were at. Thank god..and who steps out but the same guy that pulled over and talked to us many hours ago! He took his neighbours truck and tow chains, rigged it up, and pulled that bad boy right out of the dirt!

 

tried to offer him the 20 dollars i did have on me, he didn't take it. My god, I never knew such generousity existed in this world when there are giant ****rs like BCAA and emergency roadside assistance raping people with insurance charges. And when you finally need their help, they basically tell you to go **** yourself!

 

but none of this would have happened if it wasnt for women and their god damn sandwiches. i just cant understand it. Whats up with that anyways? if it wasnt for a good samaritan we would be sleeping in a cold little truck isolated from any kind of help

 

funny how things work out, but thats my rant.

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no as the police would just refer us to BCAA or a tow truck anyways. can not afford this, especially with the amount of dental work i need to have on my teeth.

 

plus being half drunk in the stonermobile, calling the police would be of no beneficial use. but our insurance corp has emergency roadside assistance covered on the plan....but under our circumstances they could not help us

 

the cops wouldve just redirected us back to bcaa and we would get the same old spiel. nobody wants to help a bunch of hurting stoners in need unless it's a good samaritan or there is big money to be made at our expense.

 

lousy scumbags..cant help because we are just alongside a road but not on a road! god damn we both pay insurance driving our **** mobiles. and in return for the emergency assistance coverage, we get a big F-You!

 

i want to write a god damn story about this ****, send it into the god damn editorial of the newspaper and let them know how few and far between a good samaritan can be in this town, and also tell the auto corporation what a bunch of **** suckers they are

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Never let a woman drive a car with a sandwich nearby' date=' and always carry a shovel. appreciate your local good samaritan as **** happens

 

this is the moral of the story i learned today

 

decided to go for a booze cruise with the girl today. Went far out of town, got our party on. hell we even had a little rendezvous at this provincial park. It was really nice.

 

We get maybe 30 clicks down this little backroad and she decided that before we proceed around this mountainside, she would pull over and park in this sandy developmental lot and finish off her the last of her pizza sub that I so kindly purchased for her before we leave the city. i had one too, man it was good!

 

but anyways that sandwich turned out to be a god damn five hour long headache. She starts the car and it wont budge. We step out only to see her back right tire basically stuck and wedged into this wet sandy dirt. it was damn near buried!

 

Tried to dig and plow ourselves out with nearby scraps of wood. Nope. ended up just digging its right rear tire right into a hole of dirt and sand. it was really in there balls deep!

 

well BCAA our auto company wouldnt send emergency assistance, though we are insured, but we were off a commercialized road by merely 100 feet or so! **** suckers wanted 130 bucks an hour to get us out with one of their tow trucks, and we are a couple hours out of town so a taxi is out of the question for a bunch of broke and hurting stoners

 

cant afford that. continued relentlessly to dig, gave up. good samaritan comes by in car, gets out and looks at our situation. there was nothing he could do as we have no chains and his car wasnt meant for pulling truck. .says sorry. goes on his way. keep on digging, have a few drinks. we wanted a picnic. not a god damn campout

 

anyways after what seemed like an eternity of repetitive drinking, cursing and digging, its getting dark. all hope was pretty much lost. Time to camp out loser style! Great. this will make an awesome story to tell our bosses tomorrow as we call in sick.

 

just as we were smoking a joint and about to bundle up and lay down, civilization appears off in the distance. holy crap, people actually travel this backroad when its this late and dark???

 

Well what do you know. A truck pulls up to the damn spot we were at. Thank god..and who steps out but the same guy that pulled over and talked to us many hours ago! He took his neighbours truck and tow chains, rigged it up, and pulled that bad boy right out of the dirt!

 

tried to offer him the 20 dollars i did have on me, he didn't take it. My god, I never knew such generousity existed in this world when there are giant ****rs like BCAA and emergency roadside assistance raping people with insurance charges. And when you finally need their help, they basically tell you to go **** yourself!

 

but none of this would have happened if it wasnt for women and their god damn sandwiches. i just cant understand it. Whats up with that anyways? if it wasnt for a good samaritan we would be sleeping in a cold little truck isolated from any kind of help

 

funny how things work out, but thats my rant.[/quote']

 

sounds like he was c*ck blocking

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no as the police would just refer us to BCAA or a tow truck anyways. can not afford this' date=' especially with the amount of dental work i need to have on my teeth.

 

plus being half drunk in the stonermobile, calling the police would be of no beneficial use. but our insurance corp has emergency roadside assistance covered on the plan....but under our circumstances they could not help us

 

the cops wouldve just redirected us back to bcaa and we would get the same old spiel. nobody wants to help a bunch of hurting stoners in need unless it's a good samaritan or there is big money to be made at our expense.

 

lousy scumbags..cant help because we are just alongside a road but not on a road! god damn we both pay insurance driving our **** mobiles. and in return for the emergency assistance coverage, we get a big F-You!

 

i want to write a god damn story about this ****, send it into the god damn editorial of the newspaper and let them know how few and far between a good samaritan can be in this town, and also tell the auto corporation what a bunch of **** suckers they are[/quote']

 

I mean a cop to arrest your girlfriend.

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I mean a cop to arrest your girlfriend.

 

yeah the cops wouldnt be able to do any good for us. no point of haggling them. hell in this far out in the mountain backs, there is no cops for at least 20 miles out on the highway somewhere!

 

that's the main reason we like to load up old betsy full of booze and see how far away from civilization the piece of **** will get us. always some nice scenery and some damn fine places to get your party on.

 

women i tell ya. they just cannot concentrate on driving, or at least finding a half decent parking spot when they have sandwich on their mind!

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yeah the cops wouldnt be able to do any good for us. no point of haggling them. hell in this far out in the mountain backs' date=' there is no cops for at least 20 miles out on the highway somewhere!

 

that's the main reason we like to load up old betsy full of booze and see how far away from civilization the piece of **** will get us. always some nice scenery and some damn fine places to get your party on.

 

women i tell ya. they just cannot concentrate on driving, or at least finding a half decent parking spot when they have sandwich on their mind![/quote']

 

Damn aint no reason to be lettin a woman drive tho. Puttin your life in danger my man

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yeah you should see me rolling when i'm getting pissed. nothing good ever comes of it. ive parked the lancer in many of awkward places, mainly small objects or the front end of relatives vehicles .

 

but i sure as hell wouldnt have parked in that sandbank for the sole purpose of eating a sandwich, no matter how good it is or who made it for me

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yeah you should see me rolling when i'm getting pissed. nothing good ever comes of it. ive parked the lancer in many of awkward places' date=' mainly objects.

 

but i sure as hell wouldnt have parked in that sandbank for the sole purpose of eating a sandwich, no matter how good it is or who made it for me[/quote']

 

Yeah, no need for that. **** it men like us dont need women. All I need is some fishin, beer, friends, and fighting. I figure the rest out later.

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hey i had no say in the matter. it just happened.

 

almost inclined to call bcaa back up, tell them we are stranded hours out in the middle of nowhere, but in a spot where they do service and can reach us. if i could get away with this without being charged or penalized, it would be awesome!

 

only two hours later when they arrive, we would already be long gone and buddy would be driving around endlessly looking for nothing. hopefully that ****er would get stuck in a ditch somewhere where he cant get service, meanwhile i would call them back up and tell them i no longer need help.

 

only seems fair. why pay extra money on my premium for 24/7 roadside assistance if they just want to be a bunch of **** heads and won't drive the extra hundred feet to reach somebody stranded.

 

can't say that i know what it's like but i would imagine it kind of feels like getting ****ed in the *** without a condom the way these guys can just piss all over our parade!

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alot of washboard on some of those backroads. gets pretty brutal on the truck sometimes. especially over enourmous rocks and whatnot. pretty damn dangerous for any thing other then a 4wd to endure

 

and to think that after all the rough and rugged terrain we conquered, only to lead up to a little pile of dirt that damn near put us outta commission, is just rather sad! but god damn can the jeep really dig a good hole really quick in the dirt!!! did have to turn around and somehow managed to back out of this other hill that was just too challenging. If it was my drunken *** behind the wheel i wouldve rolled it! i still want to know what was up there but apparently neither one of us had the balls

 

needless to say soonafter getting pulled out we got the hell off of that forestry service road. screw taking the long and scenic way home. hell at least i even got home.

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Never let a woman drive a car with a sandwich nearby' date=' and always carry a shovel. appreciate your local good samaritan as **** happens

 

this is the moral of the story i learned today

 

decided to go for a booze cruise with the girl today. Went far out of town, got our party on. hell we even had a little rendezvous at this provincial park. It was really nice.

 

We get maybe 30 clicks down this little backroad and she decided that before we proceed around this mountainside, she would pull over and park in this sandy developmental lot and finish off her the last of her pizza sub that I so kindly purchased for her before we leave the city. i had one too, man it was good!

 

but anyways that sandwich turned out to be a god damn five hour long headache. She starts the car and it wont budge. We step out only to see her back right tire basically stuck and wedged into this wet sandy dirt. it was damn near buried!

 

Tried to dig and plow ourselves out with nearby scraps of wood. Nope. ended up just digging its right rear tire right into a hole of dirt and sand. it was really in there balls deep!

 

well BCAA our auto company wouldnt send emergency assistance, though we are insured, but we were off a commercialized road by merely 100 feet or so! **** suckers wanted 130 bucks an hour to get us out with one of their tow trucks, and we are a couple hours out of town so a taxi is out of the question for a bunch of broke and hurting stoners

 

cant afford that. continued relentlessly to dig, gave up. good samaritan comes by in car, gets out and looks at our situation. there was nothing he could do as we have no chains and his car wasnt meant for pulling truck. .says sorry. goes on his way. keep on digging, have a few drinks. we wanted a picnic. not a god damn campout

 

anyways after what seemed like an eternity of repetitive drinking, cursing and digging, its getting dark. all hope was pretty much lost. Time to camp out loser style! Great. this will make an awesome story to tell our bosses tomorrow as we call in sick.

 

just as we were smoking a joint and about to bundle up and lay down, civilization appears off in the distance. holy crap, people actually travel this backroad when its this late and dark???

 

Well what do you know. A truck pulls up to the damn spot we were at. Thank god..and who steps out but the same guy that pulled over and talked to us many hours ago! He took his neighbours truck and tow chains, rigged it up, and pulled that bad boy right out of the dirt!

 

tried to offer him the 20 dollars i did have on me, he didn't take it. My god, I never knew such generousity existed in this world when there are giant ****rs like BCAA and emergency roadside assistance raping people with insurance charges. And when you finally need their help, they basically tell you to go **** yourself!

 

but none of this would have happened if it wasnt for women and their god damn sandwiches. i just cant understand it. Whats up with that anyways? if it wasnt for a good samaritan we would be sleeping in a cold little truck isolated from any kind of help

 

funny how things work out, but thats my rant.[/quote']

 

Women seriously need to learn how to drive, I got rear-ended last friday and ended up with a mild concussion.

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