So when is it too soon to pop the question.

[Fatality911]

So me and my GF have been going out for about seven months now and to say she is awesome is an understatement. She's not clingy, she's a good cook, likes kids, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, her family is awesome, and she has a very care free attitude. Lately though i've been getting a lot of little hints here and there that she is wanting me to pop the question to her and for me I don't really know how much you can know about a person in seven months to make that kind of commitment.

 

So my question is to the people that are married in here. Do you have to be 100% sure about the girl before you pop the question or will you never be 100% sure and that just comes with the territory.

[Pro_Boxer]

So me and my GF have been going out for about seven months now and to say she is awesome is an understatement. She's not clingy' date=' she's a good cook, likes kids, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, her family is awesome, and she has a very care free attitude. Lately though i've been getting a lot of little hints here and there that she is wanting me to pop the question to her and for me I don't really know how much you can know about a person in seven months to make that kind of commitment.

 

So my question is to the people that are married in here. Do you have to be 100% sure about the girl before you pop the question or will you never be 100% sure and that just comes with the territory.[/quote']

 

I proposed within two weeks and have no regrets. Is the time thing the only thing holding you back?

[judo_phantom]

i'm not married, but i'll give my input here.

 

you can never be sure about women. I thought with 100% certainty i'd found the girl of my dreams. Was with her for the greatest two years of my life, and then she up and leaves a month before i was going to ask her to marry me. It's not something anyone can ever be totally certain about, but the risk is what makes them saying yes worth it.

 

my father proposed to my mother after being together only 4 months (though they didn't get married for 2 years after that), and i've seen people wait 3 years or more before getting married, so it all depends on the individual.

 

if you're sure about her, ask her, the worst she can do is say no, in which case, she's not the right one anyway.

 

Best of luck to you.

[IM4MMA]

i'm not married' date=' but i'll give my input here.

 

you can never be sure about women. I thought with 100% certainty i'd found the girl of my dreams. Was with her for the greatest two years of my life, and then she up and leaves a month before i was going to ask her to marry me. It's not something anyone can ever be totally certain about, but the risk is what makes them saying yes worth it.

 

my father proposed to my mother after being together only 4 months (though they didn't get married for 2 years after that), and i've seen people wait 3 years or more before getting married, so it all depends on the individual.

 

if you're sure about her, ask her, the worst she can do is say no, in which case, she's not the right one anyway.

 

Best of luck to you.[/quote']

 

+1 this exactaly

[KungFuMaster]

Here's one thing I can tell you. You will never completely know a person until you live with them. Sometimes we need to take chances...

 

What ever road you choose........whether it's wrong or right..................you make it right and make the best of it.

 

Good luck.

[UFCCagerattler]

You should co habitat with any woman you plan on marrying. Some people can really get on your nerves when you have to live with them.

[uaquin]

So me and my GF have been going out for about seven months now and to say she is awesome is an understatement. She's not clingy' date=' she's a good cook, likes kids, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, her family is awesome, and she has a very care free attitude. Lately though i've been getting a lot of little hints here and there that she is wanting me to pop the question to her and for me I don't really know how much you can know about a person in seven months to make that kind of commitment.

 

So my question is to the people that are married in here. Do you have to be 100% sure about the girl before you pop the question or will you never be 100% sure and that just comes with the territory.[/quote']

 

I'm probably not the best case scenario as me and the missues, while being together for 15 years have only been officially married for 3, but that is not unusual in Canada. We have a very high percentage of common law relationships.

 

The way I look at it, it sounds like you have a great girl there with the attributes you are looking for. Marriage is only a starting point. There is no perfect mate. There is attraction love and common interests. Its up to you and her to take that starting point and grow together building a life. You can be 100% sure (if that exists) and get married, but if you don't work at the relationship it will still end badly.

[Fatality911]

I proposed within two weeks and have no regrets. Is the time thing the only thing holding you back?

Yeah it is. I just don't believe I can know everything about this girl in seven months.

i'm not married' date=' but i'll give my input here.

 

you can never be sure about women. I thought with 100% certainty i'd found the girl of my dreams. Was with her for the greatest two years of my life, and then she up and leaves a month before i was going to ask her to marry me. It's not something anyone can ever be totally certain about, but the risk is what makes them saying yes worth it.

 

my father proposed to my mother after being together only 4 months (though they didn't get married for 2 years after that), and i've seen people wait 3 years or more before getting married, so it all depends on the individual.

 

if you're sure about her, ask her, the worst she can do is say no, in which case, she's not the right one anyway.

 

Best of luck to you.[/quote']

 

She's not gonna say no. I already know that because she is the one that keeps hinting about it. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that if I don't ask at some point she's gonna think I don't want her at all. And if I ask too soon, I may be stuck with someone I didn't know as well as I thought.

[Pro_Boxer]

Yeah it is. I just don't believe I can know everything about this girl in seven months.

 

 

She's not gonna say no. I already know that because she is the one that keeps hinting about it. The only thing that bothers me is the the fact that if I don't ask at some point she's gonna think I don't want her at all. And if I ask too soon' date=' I may be stuck with someone I didn't know as well as I thought.[/quote']

 

you will never know everything about.her probably.never will. Lol

[judo_phantom]

Yeah it is. I just don't believe I can know everything about this girl in seven months.

 

 

She's not gonna say no. I already know that because she is the one that keeps hinting about it. The only thing that bothers me is the the fact that if I don't ask at some point she's gonna think I don't want her at all. And if I ask too soon' date=' I may be stuck with someone I didn't know as well as I thought.[/quote']

 

so you, in a way, are kind of feeling pressured into asking sooner than you would like, because you don't want to give her the idea that you DON'T want her, but at the same time, want to make sure she's all that she claims to be.

 

that's quite the predicament.

[Fatality911]

you will never know everything about.her probably.never will. Lol

 

Well I don't mean literally everything. I mean im sure we both have our secrets, but enough to know that no matter what, I didn't shoot the gun to soon and make a mistake.

[uaquin]

Yeah it is. I just don't believe I can know everything about this girl in seven months.

 

 

She's not gonna say no. I already know that because she is the one that keeps hinting about it. The only thing that bothers me is the the fact that if I don't ask at some point she's gonna think I don't want her at all. And if I ask too soon' date=' I may be stuck with someone I didn't know as well as I thought.[/quote']

 

I'm curious what things are you afraid of that you don't know? Is she a Chinese double agent? Does she secretly worship the Lizard people? Is she a closet Nazi?

 

 

There are certain things you need to know before getting married.

 

First do you truly love her.

Second, Kids yes or no?

Goals in life, where do you each want to be in 10 years, 20 years, 40 years.

[Fatality911]

so you' date=' in a way, are kind of feeling pressured into asking sooner than you would like, because you don't want to give her the idea that you DON'T want her, but at the same time, want to make sure she's all that she claims to be.

 

that's quite the predicament.[/quote']

 

My friend, you understand perfectly what im talking about.

[Fatality911]

I'm curious what things are you afraid of that you don't know? Is she a Chinese double agent? Does she secretly worship the Lizard people? Is she a closet Nazi?

 

 

There are certain things you need to know before getting married.

 

First do you truly love her.

Second' date=' Kids yes or no?

Goals in life, where do you each want to be in 10 years, 20 years, 40 years.[/quote']

 

Yes I love her

Yes we both want kids

And we both are well on our way to where we want to be in 5 years.

 

But that ain't all. I don't know man it's kinda weird. I just have this feeling that the coolness, the fun, the enjoyment that we have of seeing each other is going to fade when we have to see each other every single day.

[uaquin]

Yes I love her

Yes we both want kids

And we both are well on our way to where we want to be in 5 years.

 

But that ain't all. I don't know man it's kinda weird. I just have this feeling that the coolness' date=' the fun, [b']the enjoyment that we have of seeing each other is going to fade when we have to see each other every single day[/b].

 

Ah I see. Well like I said before, those concerns are the "work" if you will of marriage. It is up to you and her to make sure that excitement doesn't fade. It is hard work to at times, especially when kids get involved and the days are long and sleep becomes a more a treasured commodity than sex.

 

What you fear is not unusual at all but quite natural. I think it is what most people fear about commitment.

 

I'm not clear on your religious beliefs or other things, but would she be open to living together after you pop the questions but before marriage?

 

 

Judging on what you have laid out it sounds like you have something good going there. I would though check and make sure she doesn't secretly worship the lizard people, you can never be to careful.

[judo_phantom]

Yes I love her

Yes we both want kids

And we both are well on our way to where we want to be in 5 years.

 

But that ain't all. I don't know man it's kinda weird. I just have this feeling that the coolness' date=' the fun, the enjoyment that we have of seeing each other is going to fade when we have to see each other every single day[/b'].

 

if you don't see each other every day, i'm assuming you don't live together.

 

would one of you moving in with the other be an option? that'd give you an impression of what it would be like to wake up next to that person everyday.

 

not only can you make your decision about marriage from there, but she may see it as a step in the direction she wants as well, disallowing her to think you're not interested in something more serious.

[StephenColbert]

wait..... why would you poop the question????

[Fatality911]

Ah I see. Well like I said before' date=' those concerns are the "work" if you will of marriage. It is up to you and her to make sure that excitement doesn't fade. It is hard work to at times, especially when kids get involved and the days are long and sleep becomes a more a treasured commodity than sex.

 

What you fear is not unusual at all but quite natural. I think it is what most people fear about commitment.

 

 

Judging on what you have laid out it sounds like you have something good going there. I would though check and make sure she doesn't secretly worship the lizard people, you can never be to careful.[/quote']

 

Yeah it's more the growing tired of her part than anything. And if that doesn't happen until the kids are born, then you have custody battles, and arguing in front of the kids, and it's a mess.

 

But on the other hand, all that could be something my mind is just playing with me on and everything will be absoluetly perfect and it will be the best decision i've ever made.

 

God sure didn't make it easy on us did he? (For the atheists out there, that was a general statement not a fact. I have no interest in arguing religion.)

[Fatality911]

if you don't see each other every day' date=' i'm assuming you don't live together.

 

would one of you moving in with the other be an option? that'd give you an impression of what it would be like to wake up next to that person everyday.

 

not only can you make your decision about marriage from there, but she may see it as a step in the direction she wants as well, disallowing her to think you're not interested in something more serious.[/quote']

 

No we don't see each other everyday, and we don't have to talk to each other everyday, she isn't clingy in the least. And that's one of the things that great about her.

[uaquin]

Yeah it's more the growing tired of her part than anything. And if that doesn't happen until the kids are born' date=' then you have custody battles, and arguing in front of the kids, and it's a mess.

 

But on the other hand, all that could be something my mind is just playing with me on and everything will be absoluetly perfect and it will be the best decision i've ever made.

 

God sure didn't make it easy on us did he? (For the atheists out there, that was a general statement not a fact. I have no interest in arguing religion.)[/quote']

 

It is IMO the single biggest decision of your life, or it should be anyways. Sorry if that made you break out in a cold sweat.

 

The reason I think divorce is so high is because

 

A) People DON"T think about it enough before getting hitched.

Once they get hitched they don't work at it hard enough. It is easier to grow apart in the busy lives we lead than grow closer.

[Fatality911]

It is IMO the single biggest decision of your life' date=' or it should be anyways. Sorry if that made you break out in a cold sweat.

 

The reason I think divorce is so high is because

 

A) People DON"T think about it enough before getting hitched.

Once they get hitched they don't work at it hard enough. It is easier to grow apart in the busy lives we lead than grow closer.[/quote']

 

It can definetly end up being the most costly decision i've ever made in my life. lol

[uaquin]

It can definetly end up being the most costly decision i've ever made in my life. lol

 

LOL,

 

Oh and this is gonna sounds crazy, but have you talked to her about it? I'm not a real talk about your feelings guy and my wife has learned to read my grunts for the most part, but sometimes talking about it does help.

[PRIDEneverDIED]

its always too soon...unless you just found out she is a millionaire or something like that....just playin

[Fatality911]

LOL' date='

 

Oh and this is gonna sounds crazy, but have you talked to her about it? I'm not a real talk about your feelings guy and my wife has learned to read my grunts for the most part, but sometimes talking about it does help.[/quote']

 

Not really. But whenever she starts with the whole "If we ever get married or when we have kids" bit, I kinda just smile and revert her attention to something else. lol

 

Sounds awful that im more comfotable talking about this to strangers instead of her, but that's the way it is.

[uaquin]

No really. But whenever she starts with the whole "If we ever get married or when we have kids" bit' date=' I kinda just smile and revert her attention to something else. lol

 

Sounds awful that im more comfotable talking about this to strangers instead of her, but that's the way it is.[/quote']

 

If you don;t mind me asking, how old are you both?

[Fatality911]

If you don;t mind me asking' date=' how old are you both?[/quote']

 

Im 28 and she is 25

[guesswho]

my thing is....if she does all the nasty things i like in bed and is bearable to have around socially, ill ask her to live with me.While co-habitating, If she is obedient and continues to give up her backside, ill ask her to marry me.

[Tonydixon2]

All I am going to say is you should at least live together for a minimum of six months. Because you may love the way she is when you are dating but, that can do a 180 on you when you move in together if you haven't already been living together for that long.

[Gibberish]

i have no idea. i was with a girl for five years and the thought never even crossed my mind.

[trinimmaman]

You should co habitat with any woman you plan on marrying. Some people can really get on your nerves when you have to live with them.

 

This is the major question.

 

Secondly if you are still debating if its time, then its not time. While I am not married, I do like to think I have a fair enough knowledge of life. Don't rush into it then regret it, you may end up resenting her for forcing you into such a situation. Don't be afraid to tell her this, if she is the woman you say she is she will understand.

 

On the flip side though sometimes spontaneous does work. IMO you should wait a while, but that's just me and I prefer play it safe. Hope this helps somehow.

[uaquin]

Im 28 and she is 25

 

Ahh that makes sense.

 

disclaimer*This is a very generalized statement, so any women who reads this do not rip my head off. These were my observations growing up with 4 sisters and observing their group of friends.

 

 

Once 25 hits, the pressure on a woman to get married skyrockets. You have her mom asking her constantly about it and when are the grandbabies coming. You have her insecurities kick in about is she ever going to find the right one, and the biological clock just kicked in.

[Tonydixon2]

i have no idea. i was with a girl for five years and the thought never even crossed my mind.

 

Sometimes marriage can make a good thing bad.

[trinimmaman]

my thing is....if she does all the nasty things i like in bed and is bearable to have around socially' date=' ill ask her to live with me.while co-habitating, if she is [b']obedient [/b]and continues to give up her backside, ill ask her to marry me.

 

lol

[Fatality911]

All I am going to say is you should at least live together for a minimum of six months. Because you may love the way she is when you are dating but' date=' that can do a 180 on you when you move in together if you haven't already been living together for that long.[/quote']

 

That's what I keep hearing. But I don't know if we can do that right now, we both got leases lol. I know that sounds like a ****** reason but If I did ask her to marry me, I figured the engagment would last until the leases are up. Then get married.

 

I kinda like to follow through on my commitments.

[Fatality911]

Ahh that makes sense.

 

disclaimer*This is a very generalized statement' date=' so any women who reads this do not rip my head off. These were my observations growing up with 4 sisters and observing their group of friends.

 

 

Once 25 hits, the pressure on a woman to get married skyrockets. You have her mom asking her constantly about it and when are the grandbabies coming. You have her insecurities kick in about is she ever going to find the right one, and the biological clock just kicked in.[/quote']

 

I agree with every word of that. Cause im seeing it first hand.

[uaquin]

I agree with every word of that. Cause im seeing it first hand.

 

LOL I bet.

 

Being a 35 year old single woman may be fabulous if you are a New York times columnist with a closet full of Gucci shoes. Formost other women though, the thought seems to impact a severe level of panic.

[Fatality911]

LOL I bet.

 

Being a 35 year old single woman may be fabulous if you are a New York times columnist with a closet full of Gucci shoes. Formost other women though' date=' the thought seems to impact a severe level of panic.[/quote']

 

Being a 35 year old single woman sitting at the local karaoke bar is a completly different stroy. Believe it or not that little analogy just made me look at this from her side.

 

Thanks

[Fatality911]

Im not gonna make another thread for this but...

 

If I were to write a book based on light hearted children's fairy tales but gave them a much more morbid approach, would it be copyright infringment? Or would it be considered harmless parody?

[TheTerribleWilliamson]

So me and my GF have been going out for about seven months now and to say she is awesome is an understatement...

 

Oh buddy...I'm happy for you that you're in love right now but 7 months is still the honeymoon period. I bet she still shaves her legs and doesn't wrinkle her nose up like she's smelling a turd when you ask her for a BJ. Well pal, that wont last...eventually you'll find yourself in a physically and emotionally unfulfilled relationship where you're only reprieve from the crushing loneliness is the 10 minutes you spend jerking off in the shower every morning. I'm not saying that means you should break up with her, you just need to be sure you know who you're marrying and what you can expect your life to be like until one of you dies. If you love her then by all means make the compromises every guy who gets married makes, be prepared to give up certain things like pleasurable sex, fun, laughter, being able to ever do anything with your friends without being made to feel guilty, etc., etc.. I made those sacrifices for the love of my life and now that my manhood is a shriveled husk of it's former self I guess I'm pretty happy. Hopefully you will be too.

 

Oh and the first two years of my relationship was amazing...incredible sex, unbelievable intimate and emotional connection, yadda, yadda, yadda. It was so good that I laughed at people who said the things I'm saying to you. I laughed and felt pity for them that they were in such terrible relationships while mine was so awesome. That was seven soul crushing years ago. Needless to say I feel like an idiot for not heeding their warnings.

[uaquin]

Im not gonna make another thread for this but...

 

If I were to write a book based on light hearted children's fairy tales but gave them a much more morbid approach' date=' would it be copyright infringment? Or would it be considered harmless parody?[/quote']

 

Good question. Disney basically stole all the Grimm tales. The stories/morals behind the fables I think are pretty much open for usage, you probably would have to change names/places etc.

 

Of note though, if you read the original Grimm's tales, those are not the Disney versions. The originals are actually quite dark,

[BarberBeefcake]

Oh buddy...I'm happy for you that you're in love right now but 7 months is still the honeymoon period. I bet she still shaves her legs and doesn't wrinkle her nose up like she's smelling a turd when you ask her for a BJ. Well pal' date=' that wont last...eventually you'll find yourself in a physically and emotionally unfulfilled relationship where you're only reprieve from the crushing loneliness is the 10 minutes you spend jerking off in the shower every morning. I'm not saying that means you should break up with her, you just need to be sure you know who you're marrying and what you can expect your life to be like until one of you dies. If you love her then by all means make the compromises every guy who gets married makes, be prepared to give up certain things like pleasurable sex, fun, laughter, being able to ever do anything with your friends without being made to feel guilty, etc., etc.. I made those sacrifices for the love of my life and now that my manhood is a shriveled husk of it's former self I guess I'm pretty happy. Hopefully you will be too.

 

Oh and the first two years of my relationship was amazing...incredible sex, unbelievable intimate and emotional connection, yadda, yadda, yadda. It was so good that I laughed at people who said the things I'm saying to you. I laughed and felt pity for them that they were in such terrible relationships while mine was so awesome. That was seven soul crushing years ago. Needless to say I feel like an idiot for not heeding their warnings.[/quote']

 

gotta admit.........this made me laugh

[Fatality911]

Oh buddy...I'm happy for you that you're in love right now but 7 months is still the honeymoon period. I bet she still shaves her legs and doesn't wrinkle her nose up like she's smelling a turd when you ask her for a BJ. Well pal' date=' that wont last...eventually you'll find yourself in a physically and emotionally unfulfilled relationship where you're only reprieve from the crushing loneliness is the 10 minutes you spend jerking off in the shower every morning. I'm not saying that means you should break up with her, you just need to be sure you know who you're marrying and what you can expect your life to be like until one of you dies. If you love her then by all means make the compromises every guy who gets married makes, be prepared to give up certain things like pleasurable sex, fun, laughter, being able to ever do anything with your friends without being made to feel guilty, etc., etc.. I made those sacrifices for the love of my life and now that my manhood is a shriveled husk of it's former self I guess I'm pretty happy. Hopefully you will be too.

 

Oh and the first two years of my relationship was amazing...incredible sex, unbelievable intimate and emotional connection, yadda, yadda, yadda. It was so good that I laughed at people who said the things I'm saying to you. I laughed and felt pity for them that they were in such terrible relationships while mine was so awesome. That was seven soul crushing years ago. Needless to say I feel like an idiot for not heeding their warnings.[/quote']

 

The main point of all that though is that you are still with her. Regardless. So at the end of the day, it's not all bad.

[melkor]

Secondly if you are still debating if its time' date=' then its not time.[/b'] While I am not married, I do like to think I have a fair enough knowledge of life. Don't rush into it then regret it, you may end up resenting her for forcing you into such a situation. Don't be afraid to tell her this, if she is the woman you say she is she will understand.

QUOTE]

 

I agree. I'm female, by the way.

 

Personally, I don't think 7 months is enough. Like someone above me said, you are still in the honeymoon stage. Especially if you don't live together/see eachother everyday. The first seven months of any relationship is a cakewalk.

[Fatality911]

Good question. Disney basically stole all the Grimm tales. The stories/morals behind the fables I think are pretty much open for usage' date=' you probably would have to change names/places etc.

 

Of note though, if you read the original Grimm's tales, those are not the Disney versions. The originals are actually quite dark,[/quote']

 

Yeah i've read them but if i did it I would want to create something that adults would never let their children read. I would want to take it and really make my own, but just use those stories for little plot points.

[uaquin]

The main point of all that though is that you are still with her. Regardless. So at the end of the day' date=' it's not all bad.[/quote']

 

LOL there is a great glass half full kinda response!

 

 

Don't let his story of ball shrinking, harpy emsaculating hell scare ya.

 

 

I mean ,what the hell else are you gonna do after say 35. Be the creepy dude at the bar everyone but him knows should have stopped going clubbing 10 years ago.

[Fatality911]

Secondly if you are still debating if its time' date=' then its not time.[/b'] While I am not married, I do like to think I have a fair enough knowledge of life. Don't rush into it then regret it, you may end up resenting her for forcing you into such a situation. Don't be afraid to tell her this, if she is the woman you say she is she will understand.

QUOTE]

 

I agree. I'm female, by the way.

 

Personally, I don't think 7 months is enough. Like someone above me said, you are still in the honeymoon stage. Especially if you don't live together/see eachother everyday. The first seven months of any relationship is a cakewalk.

 

Have you ever been married?

[TheTerribleWilliamson]

The main point of all that though is that you are still with her. Regardless. So at the end of the day' date=' it's not all bad.[/quote']

 

No, it's not all bad. But we do have our rough patches...and by rough patch I mean months where gaze at her peaceful sleeping face and contemplate smothering her with my pillow.

 

Prisoners of war forced to drink their own urine and re-consume their own feces to survive eventually get used to it. Human beings are resilient, I'll be fine

[Fatality911]

LOL there is a great glass half full kinda response!

 

 

Don't let his story of ball shrinking' date=' harpy emsaculating hell scare ya.

 

 

I mean ,what the hell else are you gonna do after say 35. Be the creepy dude at the bar everyone but him knows should have stopped going clubbing 10 years ago.[/quote']

 

It's true though. That's all i gathered from that whole post.

[melkor]

I am currently married to a man who is the love of my life. That being said, it is still HARD WORK.

[Fatality911]

I am currently married to a man who is the love of my life. That being said' date=' it is still HARD WORK.[/quote']

 

If you don't mind me asking. How much did you change from the dating period into marriage? If at all.