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The_Jack_Attack

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"If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing." - Homer Simpson

 

"Anybody can try. I want you to win" - Homer Simpson

 

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." - Homer Simpson

 

"[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!" - Homer Simpson

 

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." - Homer Simpson

 

"Trying is the first step towards failure." - Homer Simpson

 

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day." - Homer Simpson

 

"Everything's bad if you remember it" - Homer Simpson

 

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" - Homer Simpson

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where did you get the idea for this thread?

 

A little birdy from the ape gave me the idea. :D

 

Anyways.

 

"A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world." - Maurice Chevalier

 

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." - Robert Frost

 

"A man growing old becomes a child again." - Sophocles

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"Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey's end." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

"All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself." - Albert Camus

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Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp.

 

I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

 

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?

 

Just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending, and they'll 'oink' for more every time.

 

Mr. Burns: You're fired.

Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.

Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.

 

Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I'm giving you a five percent pay cut!

 

I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow ... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me.

 

Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?

Smithers: What?!!

Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free! Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!

Smithers: Oh! Of course.

 

Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!

 

This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, and was the setting of Satanic rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.

 

Bad corpse! Stop ... scaring ... Smithers!

 

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green blow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

 

Look at them, Smithers. Goldbrickers.... Layabouts.... Slug-a-beds! Little do they realise their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.

 

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

 

Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?

Smithers: If you did it, sir?

 

[stone flies through Mr. Burns' office window]

Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

 

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

 

Ah, Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones.

 

C.M Burns

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Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I shall do the next best thing: block it out. C.M Burns.

 

yeah it could a turned into a real ugly situation, but luckily managed to shoot him in the spine. i guess the next place he robs better have a weel chair ramp. moe sizlack.

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"Common sense is not so common." - Voltaire

 

"Every true genius is bound to be naive." - Friedrich Schiller

 

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together." - Georg C. Lichtenberg

 

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." - Henry Ford

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"Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense." - Josh Billings

 

"Genius always finds itself a century too early." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

"Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one." - E. B. White

 

"I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring." - James Whistler

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"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies." - Oscar Wilde

 

"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up." - Mark Twain

 

" I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow." - Woodrow Wilson

 

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton

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Are you trying to replace my Random Gifs thread? I look forward to the competition :D goodluck to you sir.

 

Your thread is actually my thread. I own it :D.

 

 

 

...

 

"If it smells like fish, eat it."-(not sure)

 

 

"Son...you're as dumb as a mule, and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, you take it." -Abraham Simpson

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"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" - Scott Adams

 

"Intellectuals are too sentimental for me." - Margaret Anderson

 

"Intelligence is really a kind of taste: taste in ideas." - Susan Sontag

 

"Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant." - Victor Hugo

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"When once body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being torn apart by swords, spears, arrows, and rifle fire. Generally speaking, the way of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death."-Miyamoto Musashi

 

"It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first. Even though it is a path of a thousand miles, you walk one step at a time."-Miyamoto Musashi

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"My offense is like the Pythagorean theorem' date=' there is no solution" - Shaq[/quote']

 

Thank you, for posting in my thread, Pete! :)

 

"Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain." - Carl Jung

 

"Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary, great minds with the ordinary." - Blaise Pascal

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A relevant one to MMA fighters. "A man will learn some skill and after making doubly sure he's got it down, will use it over and over again in vain, never understanding that that skill has now become his enemy." -Excerpt from "The Demon's Sermon on Martial Arts"

 

One of my favorites; "Men think that no matter wha they pray to the gods for it will be granted, whether good, evil, correct, or perverse. Men's minds are asinine." -Excerpt from "The Demon's Sermon on Martial Arts"

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"Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Everyday when one's body and mind are at peace one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, riflles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, failling from a thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease, or committing seppuku ath the death of one's master. And everyday without fail one should consider himself as dead. There's a saying that goes, "Step from under the eaves and you're a dead man. Leave the gate and the enemy is waiting." This is not a matter of being careful. It is to consider oneself as dead beforehand." -Excerpt from "The Hagakure"

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``The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.`` - Plutarch

 

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson

 

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

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"Why would I pick all these chip bags off the floor of my room? It's a burglar alarm, at the price of being messy." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"Flush the toilet while taking a wizz, race against time!" ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"Fly in toilet bowl, Target acquired." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"FAP FAP FAP" ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"I'm hungry, but the macaroni has a 12 minute prep time, I'd rather starve." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"Fart hard, check trousers for shart gravy." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"Moth gets in room, Epic battle." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"Spider in the corner of the room, coexist peacefully." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

 

"Smash spider on wall, leave him there to be a warning to all of his ****ing friends." ~Foul Bachelor Frog

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