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Is it right to tell


Eski_north

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Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years. and she went out of town. my buddy told me thid mornign while i was blacked out last night i made out with another girl. on one hand i want to tell her on the other i want to keep it from her to save what we have. i have never done it before and its killing me. what should i do?

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Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years. and she went out of town. my buddy told me thid mornign while i was blacked out last night i made out with another girl. on one hand i want to tell her on the other i want to keep it from her to save what we have. i have never done it before and its killing me. what should i do?

 

If she's not going to find out then don't tell, it's not worth it. Just don't do it again.

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Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years. and she went out of town. my buddy told me thid mornign while i was blacked out last night i made out with another girl. on one hand i want to tell her on the other i want to keep it from her to save what we have. i have never done it before and its killing me. what should i do?

 

Damn.

 

Hope you're still alive after 128 to honour our bet.

 

All joking aside tell her the truth

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Don't tell.

 

That being said. Don't put yourself in situations where you can do a thing like that. You're not gay right? Okay, so if you're around other girls and you drink, you might do something you regret. Why are you getting so drunk that you black out? What kind of lifestyle are you bringing to this marriage, anyway?

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Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years. and she went out of town. my buddy told me thid mornign while i was blacked out last night i made out with another girl. on one hand i want to tell her on the other i want to keep it from her to save what we have. i have never done it before and its killing me. what should i do?

 

So basically there is no proof you made out with this girl other than your buddy. Does anyone else know? Also how do you get to the point you can't remember anything at all?

 

My advice

 

1. Don't say **** if you don't know for sure

2. Learn how to handle your liquor better

3. Learn how to handle your liquor better

4. Learn how to handle your liquor better

 

Oh and one more thing in case i didn't mention it...Learn how to handle your liquor better.

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Don't tell.

 

That being said. Don't put yourself in situations where you can do a thing like that. You're not gay right? Okay' date=' so if you're around other girls and you drink, you might do something you regret. Why are you getting so drunk that you black out? What kind of lifestyle are you bringing to this marriage, anyway?[/quote']

 

Definately not gay. And i avoid stuff like that because i know it might happen. it was my friend date and we ended up at my house and thigs just went from there. I grateful it didnt lead to anything else. And i havnt found my limit with my acohol yet so it happens more times then not. I think i might tell her just because it will be the safest thing to do. i wouldnt want her to find out from a different person. Thanks for the input guys it helped. And Jack i will be alive she doesnt get home until monday and thats when im telling her because i wanna do it face to face

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your buddy might be playing with you find other people who were there if you did cheat just be honest a relationship cant be made on lies

 

That's nice to say but a relationship is sustained with little lies. Everyone is human so they make mistakes, but people don't forgive as easily as they like to think. It could put a rift between you or be a source for future arguments/retaliation even if she says she understands and forgives you.

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Definately not gay. And i avoid stuff like that because i know it might happen. it was my friend date and we ended up at my house and thigs just went from there. I grateful it didnt lead to anything else. And i havnt found my limit with my acohol yet so it happens more times then not. I think i might tell her just because it will be the safest thing to do. i wouldnt want her to find out from a different person. Thanks for the input guys it helped. And Jack i will be alive she doesnt get home until monday and thats when im telling her because i wanna do it face to face

 

If you tell her' date=' she will know. If you don't tell her, she might not.

 

It's very painful to find out about a betrayal. You may be able to spare her this pain. While it is important to be honest with your partner, it's also important to be faithful. You've already screwed that up. Don't rush into anything just because of a cliche'. Use thought. How is confessing going to [i']help[/i] her? Really, is she going to be relieved by your honesty?

 

Don't tell her. And don't be a cheater in the future.

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That's nice to say but a relationship is sustained with little lies. Everyone is human so they make mistakes' date=' but people don't forgive as easily as they like to think. It could put a rift between you or be a source for future arguments/retaliation even if she says she understands and forgives you.[/quote']

 

now im rethinking it. i live in a small town so the chances are better she will find out. im confused now :S

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Whats the probability she will find out? If its high, then tell her and hope for the best. If its not high, then dont tell her. Live with your conscience and dont do it again if you dont want to. But, telling her because you feel bad at the expense of making her feel bad isnt right either my man.

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now im rethinking it. i live in a small town so the chances are better she will find out. im confused now :S

 

I lived in a house of 2 adults, just my wife and I, and our 3 small children. It took a lot more than a little makeout session between my cheap, sleazy excuse for a wife and her scumbag, redneck, hoosier boyfriend before I knew.

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now im rethinking it. i live in a small town so the chances are better she will find out. im confused now :S

 

If there was people there that talk to her and could tell her than tell her because it'll be less hurtful coming from you. But if it's just a bunch of random people then don't tell.

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If she finds out tell her you did nothing, but drinking until you're screwed is for stupid people, putting yourself in a position where you won't control what you do/say is risky and again, stupid. You can drink a couple beers or something, but don't ever risk what you have like that.

 

Or do it, I don't care, I don't even know you :)

 

Hope I helped

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Well there was only 3 of us there. but what im worried about is that she tell her friends who are friends with my gf. and then **** gets scary. does trust come back. and if i do tell her should i do it face to facce or right now over the phone?

 

Hmm. What's this girl you made out with like? Is she cool or does she like to stir up crap? Does she remember the night? If she's one of your good friends/more friends with you than your girlfriend just talk to her and tell her it was a mistake and you didn't know what you were doing and not to tell anyone. Do you think the person you made out with would possibly want to be in a relationship with you in the future? And ask her if she has told anyone yet.

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If she finds out tell her you did nothing' date=' but drinking until you're screwed is for stupid people, putting yourself in a position where you won't control what you do/say is risky and again, stupid. You can drink a couple beers or something, but don't ever risk what you have like that.

 

Or do it, I don't care, I don't even know you :)

 

Hope I helped[/quote']

 

I wont be drinking at all for a while. its eating me alive inside. and i just feel like it will end if i tell her and if i dont she will find out and it will end. is kissing really that big of a thing when your living together and planning getting married within the year?? Iand you did help everyone is. thanks guys its putting alot into perspective

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Hmm. What's this girl you made out with like? Is she cool or does she like to stir up crap? Does she remember the night? If she's one of your good friends/more friends with you than your girlfriend just talk to her and tell her it was a mistake and you didn't know what you were doing and not to tell anyone. Do you think the person you made out with would possibly want to be in a relationship with you in the future? And ask her if she has told anyone yet.

 

She is one of those Paper Bag Moments. she has liked me for a long time and im guessing she started it. i dont remember getting home or anything just waking up in bed. never would be a relationship. and i dont know anything about what kinda person she is :S

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Well there was only 3 of us there. but what im worried about is that she tell her friends who are friends with my gf. and then **** gets scary. does trust come back. and if i do tell her should i do it face to facce or right now over the phone?

 

Well in that case damned if you do damned if you don't.

 

Sometimes i marvel at how people get themselves into these conundrums.

 

Your probably better off just coming clean but as said it could put a strain on your relationship to the point that it breaks and even if things are mended there will always be resentment and trust issues.

 

but...

 

You ****ed up so you need to own it and learn from it and be more responsible in the future.

 

You really need to look at quiting drinking if your getting to the point that you can't control yourself id say thats a big fuggin problem. I mean what will you do next, blackout and wake up to find yourself driving off a bridge next time.:eek:

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Well in that case damned if you do damned if you don't.

 

Sometimes i marvel at how people get themselves into these conundrums.

 

Your probably better off just coming clean but as said it could put a strain on your relationship to the point that it breaks and even if things are mended there will always be resentment and trust issues.

 

but...

 

You ****ed up so you need to own it and learn from it and be more responsible in the future.

 

You really need to look at quiting drinking if your getting to the point that you can't control yourself id say thats a big fuggin problem. I mean what will you do next' date=' blackout and wake up to find yourself driving off a bridge next time.:eek:[/quote']

 

She has been asking me to for a while and i always say io will and the next week im drinking. i think i have a problem and last night made me realize it because before i was just hurting myself. now this effects her and i always said i woul dnever hurt her. so this puts the nail in the coffin for my drinkiing.

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She has been asking me to for a while and i always say io will and the next week im drinking. i think i have a problem and last night made me realize it because before i was just hurting myself. now this effects her and i always said i woul dnever hurt her. so this puts the nail in the coffin for my drinkiing.

 

That sucks man, I think you might be pretty screwed with this since she's been trying to get you to stop drinking and all. And that chick might tell someone I think.

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You know, I'm having second thoughts on the advice I gave to you.

 

So, you have a drinking problem. Your fiance is asking you to stop and you don't, because you're selfish. This "party" had 3 other people, your friend, his girl and another girl, someone obviously there for your benefit, conveniently put together while your girlfriend is out of town. So, you screw around on her and pretend that you don't remember anything. Now, you're trying to get advice anononymously on the internet and drum up some support for your behavior in the meantime. Listen buddy, you're not a good guy. Maybe you don't need to attach yourself to this poor girl of yours.

 

I hope the worst for you, I really do.

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Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years. and she went out of town. my buddy told me thid mornign while i was blacked out last night i made out with another girl. on one hand i want to tell her on the other i want to keep it from her to save what we have. i have never done it before and its killing me. what should i do?

What she doesn't know can't hurt her and if you really do regret it and don't plan on doing it again then do not tell her. All telling her is going to do is hurt her and create problems with trust between you 2. IF you wanna tell her wait to break up with her.

 

No back to our regularly scheduled postwhoring

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you know' date=' i'm having second thoughts on the advice i gave to you.

 

So, you have a drinking problem. Your fiance is asking you to stop and you don't, because you're selfish. This "party" had 3 other people, your friend, his girl and another girl, someone obviously there for your benefit, conveniently put together while your girlfriend is out of town. So, you screw around on her and pretend that you don't remember anything. Now, you're trying to get advice anononymously on the internet and drum up some support for your behavior in the meantime. Listen buddy, you're not a good guy. Maybe you don't need to attach yourself to this poor girl of yours.

 

I hope the worst for you, i really do.[/quote']

 

 

straight forward with no sugar coating

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You know' date=' I'm having second thoughts on the advice I gave to you.

 

So, you have a drinking problem. Your fiance is asking you to stop and you don't, because you're selfish. This "party" had 3 other people, your friend, his girl and another girl, someone obviously there for your benefit, conveniently put together while your girlfriend is out of town. So, you screw around on her and pretend that you don't remember anything. Now, you're trying to get advice anononymously on the internet and drum up some support for your behavior in the meantime. Listen buddy, you're not a good guy. Maybe you don't need to attach yourself to this poor girl of yours.

 

I hope the worst for you, I really do.[/quote']

 

There was just the one girl me and my buddy. i thoguht i was safe because she was with him which is why i drank more. i understand where you get im a bad person trust me i feel like ****. and i only want help because im 20 i have never faced this before and im really messed up about it.

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There was just the one girl me and my buddy. i thoguht i was safe because she was with him which is why i drank more. i understand where you get im a bad person trust me i feel like ****. and i only want help because im 20 i have never faced this before and im really messed up about it.

 

You're only 20? Well, I'll soften up a bit and give you some advice that may be more relevent. You see, that you're only 20 is relevant. That you're behaving badly is also.

 

You're too young to settle down. You need to bang at least a dozen more chicks, seriouslu. Some fat ones, some old ones and occasionally a pretty one. Get it out of your system now. You don't need to be married for 10 years with a couple beautiful children,then wake up one day curious and full of urges.

 

That being said, cheaters are dirtbags. Don't be a dirtbag. There are many reasons to end a relationship, but there's never an excuse for cheating.

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There was just the one girl me and my buddy. i thoguht i was safe because she was with him which is why i drank more. i understand where you get im a bad person trust me i feel like ****. and i only want help because im 20 i have never faced this before and im really messed up about it.

 

Why are you engaged at 20? lol This is why you wait until you're old to start growing up. I doubt you have a drinking problem at such a young age either, just and impulse control problem like most young people. I don't want to tell you what to do since I don't want to be responsible but if the girl is young then she'll probably go around telling people and it will be best to hear it from you, but I think face to face is better.

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You're only 20? Well' date=' I'll soften up a bit and give you some advice that may be more relevent. You see, that you're only 20 is relevant. That you're behaving badly is also.

 

You're too young to settle down. You need to bang at least a dozen more chicks, seriouslu. Some fat ones, some old ones and occasionally a pretty one. Get it out of your system now. You don't need to be married for 10 years with a couple beautiful children,then wake up one day curious and full of urges.

 

That being said, cheaters are dirtbags. Don't be a dirtbag. There are many reasons to end a relationship, but there's never an excuse for cheating.[/quote']

 

we have been best friend since gradeschool and i dont have any urges for other women. she makes my world go round. i know it sound gay but its true. thats why im so beat up overt his whole thing because i never thought i would do something like that. i know it was only a kiss but i fealt like the world came down on me after i found out.

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Your rang you dumb ****?

 

Not everyone on here is me. But it's nice to see your so obsessed that you have taken a "Where's Waldo" approach to me?

 

Go make your husband some dinner or something

 

All the best.

 

Smooth :)

 

Wait a min how'd you get bender back? OOps nevermind, it's different.

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So basically there is no proof you made out with this girl other than your buddy. Does anyone else know? Also how do you get to the point you can't remember anything at all?

 

My advice

 

1. Don't say **** if you don't know for sure

2. Learn how to handle your liquor better

3. Learn how to handle your liquor better

4. Learn how to handle your liquor better

 

Oh and one more thing in case i didn't mention it...Learn how to handle your liquor better.

 

Best answer, right here.

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Hey man, I read your reply to my post and I can tell that you really want to be helped and that's the best thing. If your heart is telling you to tell her, then tell her. If you keep this inside you it will crush you, you won't be able to look her in the eye, you will remember it when you're lying next to her.. Believe me, there's nothing as bad as feeling bad about yourself. Tell her, and if she breaks up with you because of it, it will hurt, but you'll lose that weight off your shoulders.. If she really loves you, she will understand. And 20 is a very young age to start thinking about marriage, you'll want to get married to someone who can forgive

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You rang you dumb ****?

 

Not everyone on here is me. But it's nice to see your so obsessed that you have taken a "Where's Waldo" approach to me?

 

Go make your husband some dinner or something

 

All the best.

 

Smooth :)

 

The better question would be why aren't you making that dinner I told you to make?

 

Wow LMAO!!!!

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Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years. and she went out of town. my buddy told me thid mornign while i was blacked out last night i made out with another girl. on one hand i want to tell her on the other i want to keep it from her to save what we have. i have never done it before and its killing me. what should i do?

 

I have drank and been drunk off my *** , and yet I have never blacked out.. I think it is an excuse, you know what you did.. Also telling her only helps you feel not guilty, and makes here feel like ****. Why should she feel like **** when you ****ed up? I say let her not feel bad and you live with the guilt for your own punishment.

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Hey man' date=' I read your reply to my post and I can tell that you really want to be helped and that's the best thing. If your heart is telling you to tell her, then tell her. If you keep this inside you it will crush you, you won't be able to look her in the eye, you will remember it when you're lying next to her.. Believe me, there's nothing as bad as feeling bad about yourself. Tell her, and if she breaks up with you because of it, it will hurt, but you'll lose that weight off your shoulders.. If she really loves you, she will understand. And 20 is a very young age to start thinking about marriage, you'll want to get married to someone who can forgive[/quote']

 

I know its young to want to get married but i want to be with her and i dont want to risk losing her I know she loves me alot, as i love her. How would you tell someone? i cant find a way in my head that will be easiest on her

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