Junglebird Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Good morning Chael, sorry we were unable to provide you with a makeup artist for the interview, would you mind wearing the bag over your head? What? Excuse me? We're just kidding sonnen buddy. oh, alright Damn your ugly, you've aged 10 years since your last fight I'm still prettier than the Nog brothers.... Thats not saying much... moving on.... Now the big question on most MMA fan's minds is just how much credit do you give any of your wins to your Testosterone abuse therapy? First things first mister, I'm a politician, not a fighter. I make things that happened look like they didnt happen, anyone stupid enough to believe me.. its their own fault. So you credit your wins to PED abuse? Look, i served my time, I did my best to stay in the spotlight by twittering about fighters better than me, don't you think I deserve to come back, with increased pay? Your a republican, why not. ..Anyway Next question. Its sort of a spin-off of the previous question: How much credit to you give your losses to lack of Brazilian Jiu jitsu know-how? Heres the thing, BJJ has the word brazil in it, there is no way I'm going to learn that homoerotic man hugging. If it was called American Jiu Jitsu, I would be the grand master. On that Brazil topic, what is with you and Brazilians? Are you jealous that half of elite MMA fighters come from there? Are you bitter than most of your losses are by BJJ submissions? You have to understand something, when you've done steroids for most of your athletic career, your balls get very small. I take that frustration out on those who have either defeated me, or that would defeat me in an MMA fight, it is sort of a way to hide my insecurities and weakness, plus the WWE fanbase loves my witty comments! If you have ever been not-lying in your life it would be now, your fan base is truly that of the WWE Thank you So its been a while since we saw you perform, but Im not sure we can call it performing, I mean you were busted for roiding up and still lost, how does that make you feel? Anderson is a fraud and a liar. I won that fight, my fans think so anyway. Your fans think you won? Of course! They are even blinder than I am when it comes to reality Fair enough. Next question: You called out Lyoto Machida, but it turns out you are now fighting Brian Stann. What was up with all that? Well you know how it is, MMA is a sport of who can be in the spotlight the most, uncle dana knows it, I know it. I run my mouth calling out anybody I want knowing that most likely I wouldnt have to fight them, lets be honest, Machida would have beat me into piss then drank me. But thats besides the point, my fans thought I woulda won and been the LHW champion so that is all that matters. As for the Stann thing, he is an american, I wont have to worry about getting submitted, I am going to beat that fraud clown again! ...Anderson, right? No, Brian Stann.... are you the only fighter who calls Dana "uncle"? Oh yeah the war guy, I can UD him probably. Uncle Dana? Yes, i suppose I am. Wow that's pathetic. ...moving on. Now, you are 4-4 in the UFC, but you and your fans believe you are the best, how does that make sense? It doesn't. I've lost both my debuts in the UFC and have lost multiple times by submission, but having 3 UD victories over Miller, Okami and fellow PED monkey Marquart help my cause. Alot of your hype goes to the fact that you almost beat an injured Anderson Silva while on PEDs... Well, that's not all where my hype comes from, I mean dont you have twitter? I've been blowing that place up lately. My plan was to let the steroid and money laundering thing blow over, then hit back on twitter like a mad man! Get everybody excited and wanting their real champion to return! It is no secret that you have a very loyal following, is there anything you would like to say to your sheep? Buy my book, its called "Sonnen, the best, or at least I think so" We're almost done here Mr. sonnen, just a few more questions: With the recent happenings of Nate Marquart getting busted in a similar fashion like you, he was kicked out of the UFC. Why were you not kicked out when caught for the same thing? Not to mention your money laundering, and lying to the comission? Well, Nate was busted more than once, I've only been caught once, and I intend to keep it that way. I've hired a professional roid cycler to manage my PEDs. Also, you gotta see the difference between me and Nate, I'm the money baby. I deliver what the (WWE) fans want, good ol fashion american drama. That puts butts in the seats and money in uncle Dana's pocket. Makes sense to me. thank you Chael, you pride yourself on being an American, how do you feel about going up against a true American war hero? And how will the fans react? My most loyal of sheep will follow me to my grave. They follow me everywhere: Twitter, facebook, the grocery store, the doctor's office, the toilet, my bed. They cant get enough of the Chael Sonnen meat. They would support me if I was fighting their Mothers. Stann isnt even a War hero, he's not in the military anymore is he? He musta been kicked out or abandoned his duty. I'm really sure that is not true, Cha.... yes it is! *twitter Twitter* "sonnentech: Stann is a joke of an American, I've done more service for America by beating up Brazilians in the octagon than he has killing middle easterners." -Sheep reaction: "lolol omgomgomg Sonnen is so the funny omg, im gonna make a thread about how funny he is, I love chael's meat" Well that is all the time we have Chael, thank you for your time My pleasure, will this interview be on the internet? Sure why not YES! We will see you after your loss to Brian Stann Have a good day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.